DOI Heft:
July to December, 1851
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16608#0053
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 41
ARISTOCRATIC SPORTS EXTRAORDINARY.
he Lord Chamberlain, on the occa-
sion of Her Majesty's state visits to
the Opera, has lately gone through his
Judases of their country)—induce their unsuspecting Sovereign to bear
upon her anointed head "golden oats" and "golden wheat-ears"—
(with oats and wheat at their present no prices !)—then the insult offered
by the Cabinet to a bleeding land—(for it must bleed through such
" rents,")—demands instant impeachment with the tragic termination
that, in the good old times, followed on approved treason,
unique and interesting feat of walking i " 'Poppies—golden oats and wheat-ears—with diamonds !'
backwards, up-stairs and down-stairs, j " No doubt Lord John—for he once followed poetry—thinks this as
through the lobbies, and across the cor- j pretty and significant as the love-posies made m the East, by which
ridors, holding in his hands—during j girls talk through flowers. But, my Lord Duke, I tell you how the
country—the wronged and outraged country—reads the Royal head-
dress, which, like the Royal Speech, is not Her Majesty's, but her
Minister's: it reads it thus :—
" ' Poppies.'—Oblivion of the Agricultural interest.
"' Golden Oats and Wheat-ears.'—Cheap bread—gilt by tb*
capital of the farmer.
" 'Diamonds.'—The tears of—
" Your's, in ire and sorrow,
"Protection."
the whole time occupied in the per
formance — a pair of massive silver
candlesticks. The feat was got through
in the usual clean and masterly style,
to the great admiration of all who wit-
nessed it. The Chamberlain went off
at a slapping pace, turning all the cor-
ners with his usual adroitness, and
taking the stairs as pleasantly as a
regularly-trained hunter would take a
hedge or a hurdle. We know of nothing
equal to this exploit since the splendid
achievement of the Chelsea Chicken,
who ran a mile forwards, half-a-mi!e
backwards, six yards on his
hands, three furlongs in a sack,
snd an acre on stdts, picking
up by the way six new-laid
eggs, a pound of cherries, placed
ihree yards apart, and conclu-
ding by throwing three somer-
saults over a clothes-basket. It
will be observed, however, that
the Chicken had nothing in his hand, an in comparing the feats above
described, great allowance must be made ■ r, and great weight attached
to, the massive silver candlesticks.
We must confess that these feats, however well adapted to such
places as the Hippodrome, are in our opinion unsuited to the atmo-
sphere of a Court, and particularly a Court so distinguished as our own
for good sense and good feeling, as well as for the banishment of all
etiquette, save that which, without the humiliation of the subject, tends
to the dignity of the Sovereign. An excellent proof of this good
sense, on the part of Royalty has just been shown in the expressed wish
of Her Majesty, that the ceremony of presenting the Keys be
dispensed with on her entrance to the City. These now unmeaning
fooleries are well enough in a stage spectacle ; but the Queen naturally
feels averse to taking a part in such an absurdity as the presentation
to her of a pair of property Gilt Keys, which fit no lock whatever. We
hope to see, as a further proof of going forwards in the same direction,
the necessity for the Lord Chamberlain's going backwards done
away with very speedily.
THE QUEEN'S HEAD-DRESS.
To His Grace the Luke of Richmond.
" My Lord Duke,
" To you as the hope and pride of Protection—for the Earl
of Derby won't speak out; and Mr. Disraeli has a great deal too
much of what is called wit really to feel for anybody—to you, I
address myself as a stanch Protectionist on a subject, delicate, I own
—but no less a subject demanding the co-operative attention of every
man who would once again see wheat at 70s. per quarter. I allude,
my Lord Duke, to the head-dress worn by Her Majesty on her late
visit to the City. Here are dress and head-dress :
1 1 Hep. Majesty wore a white satin dress, embroidered in gold, trimmed with gold,
silver, and white satin ribands, and richly ornamented with diamonds. The head-
dress was composed of poppies, golden oats and wheat-ears, ornamented with diamonds.'
"The Queen—Heaven bless her!—can do no wrong. But inas-
much as the Majesty of England is considered constitutionally infallible,
so is an English Ministry held peculiarly accountable for the nominal
acts of the Sovereign. Therefore, the country—which is the landed
interest, at once the heart and backbone of the nation—the country
expects of your Grace an immediate impeachment of the Ministry for
the insult insidiously offered to the Agricultural interest in the Queen's
head-dress; for the cruel jest of which our Royal Mistress was made
the innocent and unconscious expression.
" Your Grace is aware that that glass bubble blown in Hyde Park—
[I understand it is to be kept up as a garden to grow nutmegs, ginger.
THE SCHOOLMASTER'S BEST ASSISTANTS.
Weak is the schoolmaster, without the aid of certain ushers; and
these are Light, Soap, and Water. The Earl of Shaftesbury—pro-
moted to the House of Lords—takes with him his Ragged Scholars ;
and in their tatters they do him at least as much honour as his robes of
velvet and ermine. It is well when the strawberry leaves and the
leaves of the ragged primer go thus together. The Earl knows that
what the boy or girl learns at the Ragged School, the child unlearns at
its Pigstye Home. In the houses of the poor, with five or six families
degraded by the communion forced upon them; the child, fresh from
the Ragged School, where he has been made to con the theory of human
decency, jumps at once into the practice of human debasement. What
lessons of goodness have passed through his ears; and what sights of
filth and abomination are nakedly presented to his eyes! Theory with
its book, and Practice with its foul reality. What hope for the mocked
and confounded pupil ? Therefore, the noble Earl, confident in his pur-
pose, moves the second reading of the Lodging-House Bill; and it is
read accordingly.
We may, therefore, hope that in due season—the sooner still the
better — the ragged schoolmaster will be supported and assisted by
ushers heretofore almost unknown at the hearths of the veriest poor.
Light will be busy with its continued teaching : and Soap and Water
do their daily ministrations ; and that to the partial discomfiture, it is
to be hoped, of fifty-seven millions, at present triumphing through the
land; and the more especially, pillaging the cupboards of the lowliest.
Gin, Tobacco, Beer, says Mr. Porter, give to the Exchequer an annual
amount of fifty-seven millions of money ! Now Light, Soap, and
Water, arrayed against Gin and Tobacco, must have their victories.
They may not wholly defeat the forces of fire and smoke; but there
can be no doubt that, with fair play, they will quench much alcoholic
flame, and clear into sunshine clouds of stupifying smother.
We are to have Light for notbing. The fiat of the Exchequer has
gone forth—" Let the sun shine gratis." And Water—almost cheap
as Light—is promised to the people. Let the Chancellor of the
Exchequer in his next Budget complete that work of cleanliness, next
attribute to holiness, and earn for himself an immortal statue. Not a
thing of marble, brass, or bronze, but a statue—to be honoured in
every household—a statue of Untaxed Soap !
Erom such soap may be blown a bubble of reputation—a bubble that
shall endure longer than granite.
American Rifling.
An ingenious correspondent in Notes and Queries, asks—
" Is there any one use for which an American rifle is to be preferred to an
English one ? "
Punch makes answer for his pleasant and useful contemporary, and
answers " Yes." Since the decision of Lord Campbell, who, very
properly, will not suffer foreign visitors to be Bohned, cost free,—the
American rifle is superior to the British one; inasmuch as, in the
hands of the Yankee bookseller, it inevitably brings down the English
author.
Flax v. Hemp.
One of the transparencies exhibited in Cheapside on the occasion
.. _. _.... . . . , of the Queen's visit to the City represented a crop of flax, with the
and cinnamon at half-price, so let the grocers look to it)—was blown in| inscription, "Flax the Remedy of Ireland's Distress." It is to be
honour of Eree Trade; that the dinner, or supper, or whatever it was, hoped that this plant will prove more efficacious than a kindred one
spread by the Lord Mayor, was in glorification of that unrighteous has been found in the treatment of Irish disorders. In "the land of
principle which, in this present month of July, has made England misrule and half hanging and flame," hemp has been abundantly tried
throughout the length, breadth and depth of the land a howling wilder- without success. There is promise in flax of answering considerably
ness. This was bad enough, but when an unprincipled Ministry—(the. better than hemp.
2—3
ARISTOCRATIC SPORTS EXTRAORDINARY.
he Lord Chamberlain, on the occa-
sion of Her Majesty's state visits to
the Opera, has lately gone through his
Judases of their country)—induce their unsuspecting Sovereign to bear
upon her anointed head "golden oats" and "golden wheat-ears"—
(with oats and wheat at their present no prices !)—then the insult offered
by the Cabinet to a bleeding land—(for it must bleed through such
" rents,")—demands instant impeachment with the tragic termination
that, in the good old times, followed on approved treason,
unique and interesting feat of walking i " 'Poppies—golden oats and wheat-ears—with diamonds !'
backwards, up-stairs and down-stairs, j " No doubt Lord John—for he once followed poetry—thinks this as
through the lobbies, and across the cor- j pretty and significant as the love-posies made m the East, by which
ridors, holding in his hands—during j girls talk through flowers. But, my Lord Duke, I tell you how the
country—the wronged and outraged country—reads the Royal head-
dress, which, like the Royal Speech, is not Her Majesty's, but her
Minister's: it reads it thus :—
" ' Poppies.'—Oblivion of the Agricultural interest.
"' Golden Oats and Wheat-ears.'—Cheap bread—gilt by tb*
capital of the farmer.
" 'Diamonds.'—The tears of—
" Your's, in ire and sorrow,
"Protection."
the whole time occupied in the per
formance — a pair of massive silver
candlesticks. The feat was got through
in the usual clean and masterly style,
to the great admiration of all who wit-
nessed it. The Chamberlain went off
at a slapping pace, turning all the cor-
ners with his usual adroitness, and
taking the stairs as pleasantly as a
regularly-trained hunter would take a
hedge or a hurdle. We know of nothing
equal to this exploit since the splendid
achievement of the Chelsea Chicken,
who ran a mile forwards, half-a-mi!e
backwards, six yards on his
hands, three furlongs in a sack,
snd an acre on stdts, picking
up by the way six new-laid
eggs, a pound of cherries, placed
ihree yards apart, and conclu-
ding by throwing three somer-
saults over a clothes-basket. It
will be observed, however, that
the Chicken had nothing in his hand, an in comparing the feats above
described, great allowance must be made ■ r, and great weight attached
to, the massive silver candlesticks.
We must confess that these feats, however well adapted to such
places as the Hippodrome, are in our opinion unsuited to the atmo-
sphere of a Court, and particularly a Court so distinguished as our own
for good sense and good feeling, as well as for the banishment of all
etiquette, save that which, without the humiliation of the subject, tends
to the dignity of the Sovereign. An excellent proof of this good
sense, on the part of Royalty has just been shown in the expressed wish
of Her Majesty, that the ceremony of presenting the Keys be
dispensed with on her entrance to the City. These now unmeaning
fooleries are well enough in a stage spectacle ; but the Queen naturally
feels averse to taking a part in such an absurdity as the presentation
to her of a pair of property Gilt Keys, which fit no lock whatever. We
hope to see, as a further proof of going forwards in the same direction,
the necessity for the Lord Chamberlain's going backwards done
away with very speedily.
THE QUEEN'S HEAD-DRESS.
To His Grace the Luke of Richmond.
" My Lord Duke,
" To you as the hope and pride of Protection—for the Earl
of Derby won't speak out; and Mr. Disraeli has a great deal too
much of what is called wit really to feel for anybody—to you, I
address myself as a stanch Protectionist on a subject, delicate, I own
—but no less a subject demanding the co-operative attention of every
man who would once again see wheat at 70s. per quarter. I allude,
my Lord Duke, to the head-dress worn by Her Majesty on her late
visit to the City. Here are dress and head-dress :
1 1 Hep. Majesty wore a white satin dress, embroidered in gold, trimmed with gold,
silver, and white satin ribands, and richly ornamented with diamonds. The head-
dress was composed of poppies, golden oats and wheat-ears, ornamented with diamonds.'
"The Queen—Heaven bless her!—can do no wrong. But inas-
much as the Majesty of England is considered constitutionally infallible,
so is an English Ministry held peculiarly accountable for the nominal
acts of the Sovereign. Therefore, the country—which is the landed
interest, at once the heart and backbone of the nation—the country
expects of your Grace an immediate impeachment of the Ministry for
the insult insidiously offered to the Agricultural interest in the Queen's
head-dress; for the cruel jest of which our Royal Mistress was made
the innocent and unconscious expression.
" Your Grace is aware that that glass bubble blown in Hyde Park—
[I understand it is to be kept up as a garden to grow nutmegs, ginger.
THE SCHOOLMASTER'S BEST ASSISTANTS.
Weak is the schoolmaster, without the aid of certain ushers; and
these are Light, Soap, and Water. The Earl of Shaftesbury—pro-
moted to the House of Lords—takes with him his Ragged Scholars ;
and in their tatters they do him at least as much honour as his robes of
velvet and ermine. It is well when the strawberry leaves and the
leaves of the ragged primer go thus together. The Earl knows that
what the boy or girl learns at the Ragged School, the child unlearns at
its Pigstye Home. In the houses of the poor, with five or six families
degraded by the communion forced upon them; the child, fresh from
the Ragged School, where he has been made to con the theory of human
decency, jumps at once into the practice of human debasement. What
lessons of goodness have passed through his ears; and what sights of
filth and abomination are nakedly presented to his eyes! Theory with
its book, and Practice with its foul reality. What hope for the mocked
and confounded pupil ? Therefore, the noble Earl, confident in his pur-
pose, moves the second reading of the Lodging-House Bill; and it is
read accordingly.
We may, therefore, hope that in due season—the sooner still the
better — the ragged schoolmaster will be supported and assisted by
ushers heretofore almost unknown at the hearths of the veriest poor.
Light will be busy with its continued teaching : and Soap and Water
do their daily ministrations ; and that to the partial discomfiture, it is
to be hoped, of fifty-seven millions, at present triumphing through the
land; and the more especially, pillaging the cupboards of the lowliest.
Gin, Tobacco, Beer, says Mr. Porter, give to the Exchequer an annual
amount of fifty-seven millions of money ! Now Light, Soap, and
Water, arrayed against Gin and Tobacco, must have their victories.
They may not wholly defeat the forces of fire and smoke; but there
can be no doubt that, with fair play, they will quench much alcoholic
flame, and clear into sunshine clouds of stupifying smother.
We are to have Light for notbing. The fiat of the Exchequer has
gone forth—" Let the sun shine gratis." And Water—almost cheap
as Light—is promised to the people. Let the Chancellor of the
Exchequer in his next Budget complete that work of cleanliness, next
attribute to holiness, and earn for himself an immortal statue. Not a
thing of marble, brass, or bronze, but a statue—to be honoured in
every household—a statue of Untaxed Soap !
Erom such soap may be blown a bubble of reputation—a bubble that
shall endure longer than granite.
American Rifling.
An ingenious correspondent in Notes and Queries, asks—
" Is there any one use for which an American rifle is to be preferred to an
English one ? "
Punch makes answer for his pleasant and useful contemporary, and
answers " Yes." Since the decision of Lord Campbell, who, very
properly, will not suffer foreign visitors to be Bohned, cost free,—the
American rifle is superior to the British one; inasmuch as, in the
hands of the Yankee bookseller, it inevitably brings down the English
author.
Flax v. Hemp.
One of the transparencies exhibited in Cheapside on the occasion
.. _. _.... . . . , of the Queen's visit to the City represented a crop of flax, with the
and cinnamon at half-price, so let the grocers look to it)—was blown in| inscription, "Flax the Remedy of Ireland's Distress." It is to be
honour of Eree Trade; that the dinner, or supper, or whatever it was, hoped that this plant will prove more efficacious than a kindred one
spread by the Lord Mayor, was in glorification of that unrighteous has been found in the treatment of Irish disorders. In "the land of
principle which, in this present month of July, has made England misrule and half hanging and flame," hemp has been abundantly tried
throughout the length, breadth and depth of the land a howling wilder- without success. There is promise in flax of answering considerably
ness. This was bad enough, but when an unprincipled Ministry—(the. better than hemp.
2—3