DOI Heft:
July to December, 1851
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16608#0079
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
67
THE CASE OF MISTRESS HICKS.
A BALLAD FOR LORD S—YM-R.
Now list to me, ye Commons all,
Of mirth if ye oe fain,
The rather that there is a call
Upon me to explain.
A goodly tale I will you tell,
The ease of Mistress Hicks ;
Methinks it shall content you well
To hear about her tricks.
In Hyde Park she had owned a stall,
In sooth, for many a year,
And there she sold to children small
Fruit, cakes, and ginger-beer.
By Royal grant she held the same,
'Tis said— that I don't know—
I had heard nought of such a claim
Till some few weeks ago.
But not contented with the shop
Wherewith she did begin,
She begged a place to keep her " pop,"
And lock her bottles in.
The Board did tardily accede
To such a grave demand,
And Mistress Hicks, it was agree d,
Should have a wooden stand.
She wrote to thank them for the si and ;
But wood for Mistress Hicks
Would not suffice;—with taste more
grand,
The lady asked for bricks.
But all this while, of Royal grant
No mention did she make,
But urged her prayers exorbitant
For hfteen children's sake.
They granted bricks instead of wood,
With somewhat more ado ;
The fact is, they were much too good;
And see what that led to !
Her stand she found was now too small
Therein her wares to stow,
And whtre to put her bottles all,
Forsooth, she did not know.
Again they weakly yielded here,
Aud said, to hold her store,
That Mistress Hicks her stand might
rear
Just five feet high ; no more.
She thanked them at a mighty rate,
A grateful woman she !
Now might she have a lit tle grate
To make a cup of tea ?
To this they never could assent;
They said her nay, right flat,
" Your hut was for your bottles meant;
A grate ?—we can't stand that!"
The wily Mistress Hicks, again,
Preferred another prayer;
Her little hut let in the rain,
The roof might she repair ?
They said that she the roof might mend,
From wet to guard her stall,
But they would not the leave extend
To alter it at all.
But give an inch, and here's the pr. of
Old wives will take an ell;
She very shortly had a rcof
And chimney built as well!
And into office when I came,
Besides all this, I found
A little garden, which our dame
Had fenced with hurdles round.
The hurdles Mistress Hicks had raised.
Because, forsooth, quoth she,
The people vexed her as they gazed,
And watched her at her tea.
The hurdles kept advancing still,
For all our men could say;
They spoke of her extremely ill;
I could not let her stay.
The Hero of a Hundred Fights
I spoke to in this fix;
He told me that 1 should, by rights,
Get rid of Mistress Hicks.
A notice served on her to quit
She boldly did withstand ;
She vowed she would not stir a bit,
And said it was her land.
The law did Mistbess Hicks di place
We gave her something down,
Allowing, for a twelvemonth's Si ace,
Her, too, a weekly crown.
Such compensation will secure
Another stall and site
For those she holds not by a sure
And certain legal right.
Moral by Punch.
To titled Rangers large amends
Impartial Justice makes,
But little to the dame that vends
Poor ginger-pop and cakes.
IERALDIO FRAGMENTS.
ince our last number, we
have discovert d that water-
bougets are, indeed, singular
objects. It would be easy
to bring a subscriber to the
water, but it would take a
good deal to make him drink
out of one of them ■ for we
never saw one blazoned tha*
looked at all fit for use, or
could compare, for practical
purposes, with an ordinary
jug. Indeed, the charming
feature about Heraldry now-
adays is just this inappli-
cability of everything about
it to any use. AH the beasts
look as if they were cramped
up by some Wombwellian ar-
rangement ; lions are drawn
of imbecile appearance; and
warlike birds appear to be
stuffed. Some people, in-
deed, looking at these repre-
sentations, fancy ihey are
"all stuff" in a still more
comprehensive sense; but
perhaps they are just as like
the real animals as their
bearers are to the original
people who adopted them! And so, perhaps, Heraldry may be said
to be somewhat typical still.
Hitherto, we have spoken chiefly of the bearing of animate objects,
and we_ hope in an animated manner. Let us say a word of beasts
borne in parts—parts of animals being as popular in Heraldry as
animals of parts are in general life. Strict rules attend the carving;
though we regret that it is not generally the eatable part that is
selected. We never hear of anybody's bearing a haunch of venison, for
example, which would look as if lie was descended from some jolly
respectable fellow. But stags' heads are often carried with the horns
looking very threatening: where the head is severed clean off, it is
called couped ; when torn off, erased. Alas ! to allude to our friend the
Stag once more, how often has he been both cut and erased from
society within these few years! By-the-by, we may remark that a
Roebuck's head is not unfr°quently carried; there is a Scotch family
that carries "three Roebucks' heads" in its shield, though we never
heard that any of them claimed to have three times more valuable a
h' adpiece than the honourable Member for Sheffield.
With regard to inanimate objects, there are, to begin with, nine
" Honourable Ordinaries"—daily, by-the-by, at six o'clock, or so,
visible, variously, about the Park and 'he West-end, on carriages and
cabs. There is the Chief, the Pale, 'he Fess, Bar, Bend, Bend Sinister,
Chevron, Saltire and Cros,. Each of these is marked by lines on
the shield.
The Chief is drawn horizontally, from left to right, across the upper
part of the shield. It is sometimes "indented," and looks as if it
had been rather roughly rubbed against—which has happened to many
Chiefs, Whig and T^ry, in our day. This is perhaps the most
dignified of Ordinaries: how natural, therefore, that the Douglasses,
who have an Ordinary of this class, should sport, as they do, three
" mullets " on it!
The Pale is formed by the perpendicular lines falling down the whole
area to the base—as occasionally happens to the pail of common life.
The Heralds tell us that the Pale was derived from palus, a stake—
and what better foundation than a steak could you have for an ordinary?
The old Earls of Mar carried a Pale; but they, poor gentlemen, have
long since kicked the bucket. When a shield is divided by a vertical
line, it is called party per pale—a division not without a meaning; many
a party being kept out of the social pale by a line equally clear.
A Chevron is that curious-looking figure which the reader may have
observed on shields, looking something like a letter A in an imperfect
state. It is so called from its resemblance to the rafters which support
a roof—called by the French a chevron. It is a curious coincidence,
which we state on the authority of Nisbett's Heraldry, that certain
Scotch Paxtons wore two chevrons on their shield, long ago. Whether
they ever boasted of so much argent as our contemporary " rafters "
have produced, we are not prepared to say.
67
THE CASE OF MISTRESS HICKS.
A BALLAD FOR LORD S—YM-R.
Now list to me, ye Commons all,
Of mirth if ye oe fain,
The rather that there is a call
Upon me to explain.
A goodly tale I will you tell,
The ease of Mistress Hicks ;
Methinks it shall content you well
To hear about her tricks.
In Hyde Park she had owned a stall,
In sooth, for many a year,
And there she sold to children small
Fruit, cakes, and ginger-beer.
By Royal grant she held the same,
'Tis said— that I don't know—
I had heard nought of such a claim
Till some few weeks ago.
But not contented with the shop
Wherewith she did begin,
She begged a place to keep her " pop,"
And lock her bottles in.
The Board did tardily accede
To such a grave demand,
And Mistress Hicks, it was agree d,
Should have a wooden stand.
She wrote to thank them for the si and ;
But wood for Mistress Hicks
Would not suffice;—with taste more
grand,
The lady asked for bricks.
But all this while, of Royal grant
No mention did she make,
But urged her prayers exorbitant
For hfteen children's sake.
They granted bricks instead of wood,
With somewhat more ado ;
The fact is, they were much too good;
And see what that led to !
Her stand she found was now too small
Therein her wares to stow,
And whtre to put her bottles all,
Forsooth, she did not know.
Again they weakly yielded here,
Aud said, to hold her store,
That Mistress Hicks her stand might
rear
Just five feet high ; no more.
She thanked them at a mighty rate,
A grateful woman she !
Now might she have a lit tle grate
To make a cup of tea ?
To this they never could assent;
They said her nay, right flat,
" Your hut was for your bottles meant;
A grate ?—we can't stand that!"
The wily Mistress Hicks, again,
Preferred another prayer;
Her little hut let in the rain,
The roof might she repair ?
They said that she the roof might mend,
From wet to guard her stall,
But they would not the leave extend
To alter it at all.
But give an inch, and here's the pr. of
Old wives will take an ell;
She very shortly had a rcof
And chimney built as well!
And into office when I came,
Besides all this, I found
A little garden, which our dame
Had fenced with hurdles round.
The hurdles Mistress Hicks had raised.
Because, forsooth, quoth she,
The people vexed her as they gazed,
And watched her at her tea.
The hurdles kept advancing still,
For all our men could say;
They spoke of her extremely ill;
I could not let her stay.
The Hero of a Hundred Fights
I spoke to in this fix;
He told me that 1 should, by rights,
Get rid of Mistress Hicks.
A notice served on her to quit
She boldly did withstand ;
She vowed she would not stir a bit,
And said it was her land.
The law did Mistbess Hicks di place
We gave her something down,
Allowing, for a twelvemonth's Si ace,
Her, too, a weekly crown.
Such compensation will secure
Another stall and site
For those she holds not by a sure
And certain legal right.
Moral by Punch.
To titled Rangers large amends
Impartial Justice makes,
But little to the dame that vends
Poor ginger-pop and cakes.
IERALDIO FRAGMENTS.
ince our last number, we
have discovert d that water-
bougets are, indeed, singular
objects. It would be easy
to bring a subscriber to the
water, but it would take a
good deal to make him drink
out of one of them ■ for we
never saw one blazoned tha*
looked at all fit for use, or
could compare, for practical
purposes, with an ordinary
jug. Indeed, the charming
feature about Heraldry now-
adays is just this inappli-
cability of everything about
it to any use. AH the beasts
look as if they were cramped
up by some Wombwellian ar-
rangement ; lions are drawn
of imbecile appearance; and
warlike birds appear to be
stuffed. Some people, in-
deed, looking at these repre-
sentations, fancy ihey are
"all stuff" in a still more
comprehensive sense; but
perhaps they are just as like
the real animals as their
bearers are to the original
people who adopted them! And so, perhaps, Heraldry may be said
to be somewhat typical still.
Hitherto, we have spoken chiefly of the bearing of animate objects,
and we_ hope in an animated manner. Let us say a word of beasts
borne in parts—parts of animals being as popular in Heraldry as
animals of parts are in general life. Strict rules attend the carving;
though we regret that it is not generally the eatable part that is
selected. We never hear of anybody's bearing a haunch of venison, for
example, which would look as if lie was descended from some jolly
respectable fellow. But stags' heads are often carried with the horns
looking very threatening: where the head is severed clean off, it is
called couped ; when torn off, erased. Alas ! to allude to our friend the
Stag once more, how often has he been both cut and erased from
society within these few years! By-the-by, we may remark that a
Roebuck's head is not unfr°quently carried; there is a Scotch family
that carries "three Roebucks' heads" in its shield, though we never
heard that any of them claimed to have three times more valuable a
h' adpiece than the honourable Member for Sheffield.
With regard to inanimate objects, there are, to begin with, nine
" Honourable Ordinaries"—daily, by-the-by, at six o'clock, or so,
visible, variously, about the Park and 'he West-end, on carriages and
cabs. There is the Chief, the Pale, 'he Fess, Bar, Bend, Bend Sinister,
Chevron, Saltire and Cros,. Each of these is marked by lines on
the shield.
The Chief is drawn horizontally, from left to right, across the upper
part of the shield. It is sometimes "indented," and looks as if it
had been rather roughly rubbed against—which has happened to many
Chiefs, Whig and T^ry, in our day. This is perhaps the most
dignified of Ordinaries: how natural, therefore, that the Douglasses,
who have an Ordinary of this class, should sport, as they do, three
" mullets " on it!
The Pale is formed by the perpendicular lines falling down the whole
area to the base—as occasionally happens to the pail of common life.
The Heralds tell us that the Pale was derived from palus, a stake—
and what better foundation than a steak could you have for an ordinary?
The old Earls of Mar carried a Pale; but they, poor gentlemen, have
long since kicked the bucket. When a shield is divided by a vertical
line, it is called party per pale—a division not without a meaning; many
a party being kept out of the social pale by a line equally clear.
A Chevron is that curious-looking figure which the reader may have
observed on shields, looking something like a letter A in an imperfect
state. It is so called from its resemblance to the rafters which support
a roof—called by the French a chevron. It is a curious coincidence,
which we state on the authority of Nisbett's Heraldry, that certain
Scotch Paxtons wore two chevrons on their shield, long ago. Whether
they ever boasted of so much argent as our contemporary " rafters "
have produced, we are not prepared to say.