DOI issue:
July to December, 1851
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16608#0120
108
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
ONLY A PENNY ! A SENSIBLE AND INGENIOUS TOY FOR CHILDREN.
(See London Streets.')
HERETIC DEATH "NATURAL AND NECESSARY."
HE Univers is the avowed organ of the
Jesuists; but for all that, it has, just
now, the grace of plain-Speaking. The
Fire-the-Faggot (one Louis Veuillot)
who edits that meek and humanizing
print, writes thus of heretics :—
" A heretic, examined and convicted by the
Church, used to be delivered over to the secular
power, and punished with death. Nothing has
ever appeared to us more natural or more
necessary."
Happily this is only mere Jesuits'
bark; but, take the muzzle off, and the
Jesuits' bark would certainly not be
worse than the Jesuits' bite. To burn
a heretic is the natural and necessary
way, according to the Catholic Church,
to rule the roast. Sweet the odour of
pitch shirts: the only sort of pitch
fragrant to the Fisherman, and neces-
sary as fragrant to make water-tight the
Fisherman's Boat.
There is, in Strype, a pleasant bill of
expenses, touching the deaths of Rid-
ley, Latimer, and Cranmer—deaths
natural and necessary—that even now
may be grateful to the contemplation of the editor of the Univers. The items are made out with a
simplicity that must charm the Jesuit mind:—
*. d.
For three loads of wood-fagots to burn Ridley and Latimeb ......12 0
Item, one load of furze-fagots.......... ... 3 4
For the carriage of these four loads .... . ..... 20
Item, a post.......... ......14
Item, two chains.......... .. .34
Item, two staples ... .............06
Item, four labourers................2 8
£15 2
The natural and necessary death of Cranmer was brought about at somewhat less than half the cost.
The heretic mind is apt to shudder—the heretic heart to thrill—at this account of blood—of blood some-
what more ineffaceable than Cardinals' scarlet; but the loftier, the serener Jesuit snuffs the burning,
smacks his lips, and warms his hands at the comfortable blaze. To him, what wood more precious
than the cedars of the house of Solomon?—The wood that burned Ridley and Latimer! What
the true links of charity and peace ?
—The chains that bound their charred
anatomies.
Is Wiseman a reader of V Univers ?
Does the Dove of Galway coo over it ?
WHAT AN EYE DEAR.
Among the recent inventions of
science is a false moveable eye, war-
ranted to open and shut, squint, stare,
wink, cry, acid perform all the other
operations of which the human eye is
capable. Unfortunately, the inventor
cannot promise that the false eye shall
see, though we are well aware that
looking at matters with a false eye is
a very common practice. Ingenuity
certainly goes a very great way in these
days in supplying, by means of objects
of art, the deficiencies of nature. We
cannot enter an omnibus without being
told, through the medium of a con-
spicuous placard, that there is " No
more Grey Hair : " though we cannot
help taking it into our head that there
is, for our own locks give the white lie
to the flattering announcement. It is
true we have not accepted the nvita-
tion to go to some Emporium, and
have our poor old head placed in the
dyer's hands; for though we would do
almost anything to render ourselves
agreeable in the eyes of the world, we
are not yet prepared to dye for it.
Besides, we have seen specimens on
some of our female friends, and we
have a great objection to a prismatic
head of hair, which is the usual con-
sequence of an attempt to turn grey
into black, or a decided carrot into a
delicious chestnut.
We should like to see the experi-
ment tried of how far the false might
be made to supersede the true, in that
decided matter of form, the human
body. Legs and arms may be, and
are, replaced by artificial means;
teeth, hair, and eyes are to be bought
singly or by the set; and who knows
how many people we should find with
false tongues, false hearts, and wooden
heads, if we had but an opportunity
of detecting them ? We must confess
that in the notion of false eyes we
see something very hard to real—ise.
Railway Returns.
Amongst the " Railway Returns "
of the last week, there has been the
singular omission of a most important
one. We mean the return of Mr.
Hudson to railway affairs. The Hon.
M. P. attended, and spoke at, a rail-
way meeting last week. We are afraid,
however, that this is about the only
return which Railways are ever likely
to get from Mr. Hudson.
Britannia Ruling the Waves af
Cowes.
The result of the contest for the
Royal Yacht Squadron Cup at the
Cowes Regatta redounds much to our
maritime glory: for the America ran
clean away from her British compe-
titors. It would be better, however,
if we possessed a yacht that would be
likely to catch her if it ran after her.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
ONLY A PENNY ! A SENSIBLE AND INGENIOUS TOY FOR CHILDREN.
(See London Streets.')
HERETIC DEATH "NATURAL AND NECESSARY."
HE Univers is the avowed organ of the
Jesuists; but for all that, it has, just
now, the grace of plain-Speaking. The
Fire-the-Faggot (one Louis Veuillot)
who edits that meek and humanizing
print, writes thus of heretics :—
" A heretic, examined and convicted by the
Church, used to be delivered over to the secular
power, and punished with death. Nothing has
ever appeared to us more natural or more
necessary."
Happily this is only mere Jesuits'
bark; but, take the muzzle off, and the
Jesuits' bark would certainly not be
worse than the Jesuits' bite. To burn
a heretic is the natural and necessary
way, according to the Catholic Church,
to rule the roast. Sweet the odour of
pitch shirts: the only sort of pitch
fragrant to the Fisherman, and neces-
sary as fragrant to make water-tight the
Fisherman's Boat.
There is, in Strype, a pleasant bill of
expenses, touching the deaths of Rid-
ley, Latimer, and Cranmer—deaths
natural and necessary—that even now
may be grateful to the contemplation of the editor of the Univers. The items are made out with a
simplicity that must charm the Jesuit mind:—
*. d.
For three loads of wood-fagots to burn Ridley and Latimeb ......12 0
Item, one load of furze-fagots.......... ... 3 4
For the carriage of these four loads .... . ..... 20
Item, a post.......... ......14
Item, two chains.......... .. .34
Item, two staples ... .............06
Item, four labourers................2 8
£15 2
The natural and necessary death of Cranmer was brought about at somewhat less than half the cost.
The heretic mind is apt to shudder—the heretic heart to thrill—at this account of blood—of blood some-
what more ineffaceable than Cardinals' scarlet; but the loftier, the serener Jesuit snuffs the burning,
smacks his lips, and warms his hands at the comfortable blaze. To him, what wood more precious
than the cedars of the house of Solomon?—The wood that burned Ridley and Latimer! What
the true links of charity and peace ?
—The chains that bound their charred
anatomies.
Is Wiseman a reader of V Univers ?
Does the Dove of Galway coo over it ?
WHAT AN EYE DEAR.
Among the recent inventions of
science is a false moveable eye, war-
ranted to open and shut, squint, stare,
wink, cry, acid perform all the other
operations of which the human eye is
capable. Unfortunately, the inventor
cannot promise that the false eye shall
see, though we are well aware that
looking at matters with a false eye is
a very common practice. Ingenuity
certainly goes a very great way in these
days in supplying, by means of objects
of art, the deficiencies of nature. We
cannot enter an omnibus without being
told, through the medium of a con-
spicuous placard, that there is " No
more Grey Hair : " though we cannot
help taking it into our head that there
is, for our own locks give the white lie
to the flattering announcement. It is
true we have not accepted the nvita-
tion to go to some Emporium, and
have our poor old head placed in the
dyer's hands; for though we would do
almost anything to render ourselves
agreeable in the eyes of the world, we
are not yet prepared to dye for it.
Besides, we have seen specimens on
some of our female friends, and we
have a great objection to a prismatic
head of hair, which is the usual con-
sequence of an attempt to turn grey
into black, or a decided carrot into a
delicious chestnut.
We should like to see the experi-
ment tried of how far the false might
be made to supersede the true, in that
decided matter of form, the human
body. Legs and arms may be, and
are, replaced by artificial means;
teeth, hair, and eyes are to be bought
singly or by the set; and who knows
how many people we should find with
false tongues, false hearts, and wooden
heads, if we had but an opportunity
of detecting them ? We must confess
that in the notion of false eyes we
see something very hard to real—ise.
Railway Returns.
Amongst the " Railway Returns "
of the last week, there has been the
singular omission of a most important
one. We mean the return of Mr.
Hudson to railway affairs. The Hon.
M. P. attended, and spoke at, a rail-
way meeting last week. We are afraid,
however, that this is about the only
return which Railways are ever likely
to get from Mr. Hudson.
Britannia Ruling the Waves af
Cowes.
The result of the contest for the
Royal Yacht Squadron Cup at the
Cowes Regatta redounds much to our
maritime glory: for the America ran
clean away from her British compe-
titors. It would be better, however,
if we possessed a yacht that would be
likely to catch her if it ran after her.