DOI issue:
July to December, 1851
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16608#0151
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
139
of splendour; and Aboo Bosh says, that when she comes in state, and
surrounded by her vizeers, this intrepid Sovereign of an island race,
that governs provinces more vast and distant than Serendib and Hind,
always carries in her arms three lions. But the Hadjee did not see the
Queen op the Ingleez, and I doubt of this story.
Besides the Mosque of Paul, there is the Mosque of Peter, whereof
we likewise saw a view. All religions are free in this country, but only
one is paid. Some dervishes shave the top of their heads, some tighten
a piece of white cloth round their necks, all are dressed in black—we
saw pictures of these, as also of the common people, the carriages, the
Queen's janissaries in scarlet, with silver caps on their heads, and
cuirasses made of a single diamond. These giants are all ten feet high :
their officers fifteen : it is said that each consumes a sheep, and drinks
a barrel of wine in the day.
Aeoo then showed us the triumphal arch, near to the house of Wel-
lingtoon Pasha, who has but to look from his window and see his own
image on horseback. Ten thousand images of Wellingtoon are placed
about the town, besides: the English being so proud of him, because he
conquered the French Jeneral Boonapoort. But lovers of poetry
know the opinion of the bard:—
The victory is not always with the bravest: nor the robe of honour
given to him who deserves most.
An eagle is shot down, and a leopard runs away with the spoil.
Near this is the Maidaun, where the young lords and ayas ride, with
nymphs as beautiful as those of Paradise, arrayed in tight-fitting robes,
and smiling from prancing chargers.
And now came a buzz of wonder in the crowd, and outcries of
delight from the women's boxes, which made the eunuchs move about
briskly with their rattans, when the wonderful picture dawned
upon us, representing the prodigious Castle of Crystal, and pavilion of
light.
It is many miles long, and in height several furlongs. It is built of
rock crystal and steel, without putty, wood, bricks, or nails. On the
walls are flags, in number one hundred and seventy-eight thousand.
We said "Praise to Allah!" when we saw the scarlet standard, with
the crescent and star of our august master, Abdul Medjid.
This palace was built in a single night by an enchanter named
Paxtoon. This wonderful man possesses all the secrets of nature ; he
can make a melon in ten minutes grow as big as a camel, a rose spread
out before your eyes to the size of an umbrella. Lately, in a convent of
dervishes, he caused in one evening a cabbage to grow so big, that
after hearing a sermon from one of their Mollahs, who got up into the
boughs, axes were brought, the plant was felled, and the whole com-
munity dined off it; several bursting with repletion, so delicious was
the food. This was told Aeoo Bosh by a Mollah of Birmingham, a
twisting dervish, who had seen many wonders.
Having seen the exterior of this Hall of Light, Aboo Bosh now showed
to us the wondrous interior. All the treasures of the world are there,
surely. Ten hundred and ten thousand persons come thither daily, and
they all go first to see the saddles and embroidery, from Beyroot.
What arcades of splendour! what fountains! what images! The
tallest trees grow in this palace. The birds cannot fly to the roof: it is
so high. At one end, is a place where travellers are served with cakes
and sherbet by ravishing houris, with moon faces. 0, Aboo ! O,
Hadjee, I suspect that Patima, your one-eyed wife, has not heard the
end of those tales ! What says the poet ?
The best part of the tale is often that which is not told.
A woman's truth is like the cloth which the Armenian sells you in
the bazaar: he always cribs a portion of it.
And now, having spent several hours in examining this picture, the
bulbul-box was again set in motion, and the greatest curiosity of all
was represented to us. This is an Ingleez family of distinction, whom
Aboo Bosh has brought with him, and who will be exhibited every day
at three hours before, and three hours after sunset. But the account
of their strange behaviour shall be reserved for the next Intelligence.
The Greatest Miracle of all!
Boman Catholic priests are very fond of boasting of their wonderful
miracles ; but there is one miracle which they have never yet been able
to accomplish. They have been trying at it for a wearisome number of
years—at least, they pretend they have; but hitherto their holy efforts
have not been attended with the slightest success. The miracle we
allude to, as still waiting for fulfilment, is no less than
the pacification 0e ireland !
When Ireland is restored to peace and quietness, such as England
•enjoys, and restored, too, by the pious agency of Roman Catholic
priests, we shall look upon the happy realization as the greatest miracle
of all Roman Catholic miracles, and shall almost be prepared to
believe in winding statues, bleeding pictures, St. Peter's Chair, St.
Januarius's blood, and enormous cabbages—even though the cab-
oages may be larger, and have as much heart in them, as Cardinal
Wiseman's sanctity!
THE RAILWAY TRAVELLER'S EAREWELL TO
HI8 EAMILY.
'Twas Business call'd a Father to travel by the Rail;
His eye was calm, his hand was firm, although his cheek was pale.
He took his little boy and girl, and set them on his knee ;
And their mother hung about his neck, and her tears flowed fast and free.
I'm going by the Rail, my dears—Euiza, love, don't cry—
Now, kiss me both before I leave, and wish Papa good-bye.
I hope I shall be back again, this afternoon, to tea,
And then, I hope, alive and well, that your Papa you'll see.
I'm going by the Rail, my dears, where the engines puff and hiss ;
And ten to one the chances are that something goes amiss ;
And in an instant, quick as thought—before you could cry " Ah ! "
An accident occurs, and—say good-bye to poor Papa !
Sometimes from scandalous neglect, my dears, the sleepers sink,
And then you have the carriages upset, as you may think.
The progress of the train, sometimes, a truck or coal-box checks,
And there's a risk for poor Papa's, and everybody's necks.
Or there may be a screw loose, a hook, or bolt, or pin,—
Or else an ill-made tunnel may give way, and tumble in ;
And in the wreck the passengers and poor Papa remain
Confined, till down upon them comes the next Excursion-train.
If a policeman's careless, dears, or if not over-bright,
When he should show a red flag, it may be he shows a white ;
Between two trains, in consequence, there's presently a clash,—
If poor Papa is only bruised, he's lucky in the smash.
Points may be badly managed, as they were the other day,
Because a stingy Company for hands enough won't pay;
Over and over goes the train—the engine off the rail,
And poor Papa's unable, when he's found, to tell the tale.
And should your poor Papa escape, my darlings, with his life,
May he return on two legs, to his children and his wife,—
W ith both his arms, my little dears, return your fond embrace,
And present to you, unalter'd, every feature of his face.
I hope I shall come back, my dears—but, mind, I am insured,—
So, in case the worst may happen, you are so far all secured.
An action then will also lie for you and your Mamma,—
And don't forget to bring it—on account of poor Papa.
MAZZLNI.
ccording to the authentic reports of the
continental papers, Signor Mazzini—
albeit in England—continues to be the
prime disturber of the peace of the
world.
The matter is not yet thoroughly
searched to its head, but, we fear, there
now remains but little doubt that the
late earthquake in the Kingdom of
Naples originated in the dark mind of
the triumvir. His Majesty King Fer-
dinand has been heard to express him-
self very decidedly upon the point.
Galignani — that original and high-
principled journal—laments the banish-
ment of families from the sky of Paris :
all the fugitives being victims to "Maz-
zini-ism." There can be no doubt that
the late descent upon Cuba originated
from the same cause; and should the
plague break out, within the next ten
years in Constantinople, the pest will
inevitably be Mazzini in his worst
virulence.
We would advise the authorities of
our happy country to be upon their guard. Lord Palmerston is
proverbially over-frank and confiding. A great proportion of the
potato crop is gone in Ireland. We make no accusation; but we must
hope that Mazzini will not ultimately be found at the root of the matter.
" Latet Anguis in," &c, &c.
The Pope is so well known at Rome for the extreme slipperiness of
his dealings, that some heretical wag has _ been scribbling over the
door of the Vatican the following inscription :—" The Celebrated
Original Eel-Pius !"
139
of splendour; and Aboo Bosh says, that when she comes in state, and
surrounded by her vizeers, this intrepid Sovereign of an island race,
that governs provinces more vast and distant than Serendib and Hind,
always carries in her arms three lions. But the Hadjee did not see the
Queen op the Ingleez, and I doubt of this story.
Besides the Mosque of Paul, there is the Mosque of Peter, whereof
we likewise saw a view. All religions are free in this country, but only
one is paid. Some dervishes shave the top of their heads, some tighten
a piece of white cloth round their necks, all are dressed in black—we
saw pictures of these, as also of the common people, the carriages, the
Queen's janissaries in scarlet, with silver caps on their heads, and
cuirasses made of a single diamond. These giants are all ten feet high :
their officers fifteen : it is said that each consumes a sheep, and drinks
a barrel of wine in the day.
Aeoo then showed us the triumphal arch, near to the house of Wel-
lingtoon Pasha, who has but to look from his window and see his own
image on horseback. Ten thousand images of Wellingtoon are placed
about the town, besides: the English being so proud of him, because he
conquered the French Jeneral Boonapoort. But lovers of poetry
know the opinion of the bard:—
The victory is not always with the bravest: nor the robe of honour
given to him who deserves most.
An eagle is shot down, and a leopard runs away with the spoil.
Near this is the Maidaun, where the young lords and ayas ride, with
nymphs as beautiful as those of Paradise, arrayed in tight-fitting robes,
and smiling from prancing chargers.
And now came a buzz of wonder in the crowd, and outcries of
delight from the women's boxes, which made the eunuchs move about
briskly with their rattans, when the wonderful picture dawned
upon us, representing the prodigious Castle of Crystal, and pavilion of
light.
It is many miles long, and in height several furlongs. It is built of
rock crystal and steel, without putty, wood, bricks, or nails. On the
walls are flags, in number one hundred and seventy-eight thousand.
We said "Praise to Allah!" when we saw the scarlet standard, with
the crescent and star of our august master, Abdul Medjid.
This palace was built in a single night by an enchanter named
Paxtoon. This wonderful man possesses all the secrets of nature ; he
can make a melon in ten minutes grow as big as a camel, a rose spread
out before your eyes to the size of an umbrella. Lately, in a convent of
dervishes, he caused in one evening a cabbage to grow so big, that
after hearing a sermon from one of their Mollahs, who got up into the
boughs, axes were brought, the plant was felled, and the whole com-
munity dined off it; several bursting with repletion, so delicious was
the food. This was told Aeoo Bosh by a Mollah of Birmingham, a
twisting dervish, who had seen many wonders.
Having seen the exterior of this Hall of Light, Aboo Bosh now showed
to us the wondrous interior. All the treasures of the world are there,
surely. Ten hundred and ten thousand persons come thither daily, and
they all go first to see the saddles and embroidery, from Beyroot.
What arcades of splendour! what fountains! what images! The
tallest trees grow in this palace. The birds cannot fly to the roof: it is
so high. At one end, is a place where travellers are served with cakes
and sherbet by ravishing houris, with moon faces. 0, Aboo ! O,
Hadjee, I suspect that Patima, your one-eyed wife, has not heard the
end of those tales ! What says the poet ?
The best part of the tale is often that which is not told.
A woman's truth is like the cloth which the Armenian sells you in
the bazaar: he always cribs a portion of it.
And now, having spent several hours in examining this picture, the
bulbul-box was again set in motion, and the greatest curiosity of all
was represented to us. This is an Ingleez family of distinction, whom
Aboo Bosh has brought with him, and who will be exhibited every day
at three hours before, and three hours after sunset. But the account
of their strange behaviour shall be reserved for the next Intelligence.
The Greatest Miracle of all!
Boman Catholic priests are very fond of boasting of their wonderful
miracles ; but there is one miracle which they have never yet been able
to accomplish. They have been trying at it for a wearisome number of
years—at least, they pretend they have; but hitherto their holy efforts
have not been attended with the slightest success. The miracle we
allude to, as still waiting for fulfilment, is no less than
the pacification 0e ireland !
When Ireland is restored to peace and quietness, such as England
•enjoys, and restored, too, by the pious agency of Roman Catholic
priests, we shall look upon the happy realization as the greatest miracle
of all Roman Catholic miracles, and shall almost be prepared to
believe in winding statues, bleeding pictures, St. Peter's Chair, St.
Januarius's blood, and enormous cabbages—even though the cab-
oages may be larger, and have as much heart in them, as Cardinal
Wiseman's sanctity!
THE RAILWAY TRAVELLER'S EAREWELL TO
HI8 EAMILY.
'Twas Business call'd a Father to travel by the Rail;
His eye was calm, his hand was firm, although his cheek was pale.
He took his little boy and girl, and set them on his knee ;
And their mother hung about his neck, and her tears flowed fast and free.
I'm going by the Rail, my dears—Euiza, love, don't cry—
Now, kiss me both before I leave, and wish Papa good-bye.
I hope I shall be back again, this afternoon, to tea,
And then, I hope, alive and well, that your Papa you'll see.
I'm going by the Rail, my dears, where the engines puff and hiss ;
And ten to one the chances are that something goes amiss ;
And in an instant, quick as thought—before you could cry " Ah ! "
An accident occurs, and—say good-bye to poor Papa !
Sometimes from scandalous neglect, my dears, the sleepers sink,
And then you have the carriages upset, as you may think.
The progress of the train, sometimes, a truck or coal-box checks,
And there's a risk for poor Papa's, and everybody's necks.
Or there may be a screw loose, a hook, or bolt, or pin,—
Or else an ill-made tunnel may give way, and tumble in ;
And in the wreck the passengers and poor Papa remain
Confined, till down upon them comes the next Excursion-train.
If a policeman's careless, dears, or if not over-bright,
When he should show a red flag, it may be he shows a white ;
Between two trains, in consequence, there's presently a clash,—
If poor Papa is only bruised, he's lucky in the smash.
Points may be badly managed, as they were the other day,
Because a stingy Company for hands enough won't pay;
Over and over goes the train—the engine off the rail,
And poor Papa's unable, when he's found, to tell the tale.
And should your poor Papa escape, my darlings, with his life,
May he return on two legs, to his children and his wife,—
W ith both his arms, my little dears, return your fond embrace,
And present to you, unalter'd, every feature of his face.
I hope I shall come back, my dears—but, mind, I am insured,—
So, in case the worst may happen, you are so far all secured.
An action then will also lie for you and your Mamma,—
And don't forget to bring it—on account of poor Papa.
MAZZLNI.
ccording to the authentic reports of the
continental papers, Signor Mazzini—
albeit in England—continues to be the
prime disturber of the peace of the
world.
The matter is not yet thoroughly
searched to its head, but, we fear, there
now remains but little doubt that the
late earthquake in the Kingdom of
Naples originated in the dark mind of
the triumvir. His Majesty King Fer-
dinand has been heard to express him-
self very decidedly upon the point.
Galignani — that original and high-
principled journal—laments the banish-
ment of families from the sky of Paris :
all the fugitives being victims to "Maz-
zini-ism." There can be no doubt that
the late descent upon Cuba originated
from the same cause; and should the
plague break out, within the next ten
years in Constantinople, the pest will
inevitably be Mazzini in his worst
virulence.
We would advise the authorities of
our happy country to be upon their guard. Lord Palmerston is
proverbially over-frank and confiding. A great proportion of the
potato crop is gone in Ireland. We make no accusation; but we must
hope that Mazzini will not ultimately be found at the root of the matter.
" Latet Anguis in," &c, &c.
The Pope is so well known at Rome for the extreme slipperiness of
his dealings, that some heretical wag has _ been scribbling over the
door of the Vatican the following inscription :—" The Celebrated
Original Eel-Pius !"