DOI issue:
July to December, 1851
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16608#0231
220
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
north-east wind-thermometer several inches
below freezing.
Brighton Boatman. " Did you want a Pleasure-Boat this Morning, Sir ?
THE JUDGES AT A STAND-STILL.
Unless something is speedily done to fill the gap left by
the absence of business from the Superior Courts, we
shall have fifteen learned Judges dying of ennui on the
floor of Westminster Hall. The other day we rushed into
the Common Pleas, and found their Lordships with literally
nothing before them but their hands ; and on turning into
the Exchequer, in the hope of more activity, we discovered,
in addition to the Barons on the Bench, a barren void. The
Justices of the Common Pleas have grown quite impatient
of a life of indolence; and, the other day, were despatching
messengers right and left to hunt up business from the
other Courts. There was, in fact, a regular battue of the
legal preserves; but, though one or two very old birds of
juniors were turned out, they had no motion in them, and
could offer no sport.
After some difficulty, a Q. C, was bagged; but he was not
instructed, and would not favour the great guns on the
bench with an elocutionary flight. To see four or five
venerable legal luminaries all of a row—the Chief occupied
in nothing, and the Puisnes helping their Chief—is a
melancholy spectacle of Judicial much-ado-about-nothing-
ness. If a solitary "compute" happens to drop in, the
judicial mind, famishing for want of fodder, flies to it with
all the alacrity of a starving crew at the last biscuit. There
is scarcely a bone of contention left from which the Judges
in Westminster Hall are enabled to pick a bit; and so
great is the dearth, that of even the smallest and most
insignificant bone they insist on getting at the marrow.
The bringing to bear of so much judicial power on a paltry
amount of work, reminds one of a team of noble dray-horses
harnessed to a child's toy wagon. We have sometimes
wondered at the policy of keeping up a war establishment
of Judges in time of peace; for never was less fighting or
litigation in Westminster Hall; but we have come to the
conclusion that five Judges are still necessary in each Court,
to keep each other company. As there is no public, no
acting bar, and no business, the only mode of keeping the
look of life about the Court is by a good strong corps of
Judges. It is true that the crew and the passengers have
all left the ship; but the officers still cling to it, which is
all right enough. Though we hardly see the necessity for
filling up—particularly at a cost of five thousand a-year
—every vacancy that arises in the command of an obso-
lete hull, which has got stuck in the mud, and is superseded
by lighter, cheaper, and faster-going vessels.
A Posthumous Work.—Some one (whom we will not dis-
grace by printing his name) says, that " The Lobster is a post-
Nice day for a Bow !! " I humous work of creation; for it is only red after its death.
THE "SPECTATOR" ON KOSSUTH.
Is Kossuth a great man ?
We are not prepared to say that Kossuth is a great man.
If, on the contrary, he is a great man ?
Why, after all, and looking at the matter from all points of view, we
must nevertheless put this question to the dispassionate sense of the
reader—that is, the reader untouched by the exaltation of the hour
and the circumstance—what is the use of a great man?
And this question, in its deep consideration, suggests another—
Since the world began (if it ever did begin), has there ever been a
great man ?
For ourselves, we candidly admit that, for an unlimited time at least,
we withhold our opinion.
A Doctrine there's no Dissenting from.
A newspaper paragraph states, that, in the Church rate Committee
of last Session,
" A number of witnesses were examined, of various opinions, on the subject of
Church-rates."
What! Can there be more than one opinion on the subject of
Church-rates ? Namely, that every farthing of the Church-rates ought
to be paid—by those who belong to the Church.
advice to the bloomers.
When the Spartan youth complained to his mother that " his sword
was too short;" the heroic matron answered, " Add a step." When
ladies, who would be Bloomers, declare that petticoats are worn too
long, laconic Punch says—" Add a tuck."
ALL BOUND THE LORD MAYOR'S HAT.
The newspapers have favoured us lately with a rather elaborate
description of the Lord Mayor's hats, including his own three-cornered
affair, and the richly cocked castors of his flunkeys. Erom the latter
depend massive tassels of lace, and the postilion's cap is surmounted
with a huge stag, under which the poor fellow would be not unlikely to
stagger. We have no doubt that the splendid official hats will be
generally recognised as the most interesting part of the official heads
of the City. All round his Lordship's hat he wears a white feather, and
from the top of it rises a plume which quite puts our humble goose-
quill out of countenance. The civic dignitaries usually favour the public
with descriptions of their livery coats, waistcoats, and breeches, but
they have never been so condescending as to hold up their hats to the
admiration of the world through the medium of the newspapers. We
must confess that we never yet heard of such a very hatty Lord Mayor,
though we have frequently heard of a Hatti-Scheriff.
THE PARLIAMENTARY SAFE.—JOHN RUSSELL begs to call the
J- attention of an enlightened and particularly discerning public to his new Parlia-
mentary Safe, about to be patented.
It is a frequent complaint, that certain Borough Constituencies (like veal in July)
will not keep sweet. J. R. might instance St. Albans, Aylesbury, and other places,
too corrupt to mention. J. F„ however, trusts that by his new invention, Constitu-
encies to any extent may be kept in the highest state of purity for seven years. It is
of very simple construction, and adapted to the meanest capacity. In fact, J. R.'s
Safe is merely an improved form of the Ballot Box that has been so long in use, and
with such complete satisfaction to the parties concerned, at the Club-Houses of the
Nobility and Gentry.
" J. R.—in returning thanks for past favours—confidently looks for patronage from
the country at large (even including St. Albans.)
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
north-east wind-thermometer several inches
below freezing.
Brighton Boatman. " Did you want a Pleasure-Boat this Morning, Sir ?
THE JUDGES AT A STAND-STILL.
Unless something is speedily done to fill the gap left by
the absence of business from the Superior Courts, we
shall have fifteen learned Judges dying of ennui on the
floor of Westminster Hall. The other day we rushed into
the Common Pleas, and found their Lordships with literally
nothing before them but their hands ; and on turning into
the Exchequer, in the hope of more activity, we discovered,
in addition to the Barons on the Bench, a barren void. The
Justices of the Common Pleas have grown quite impatient
of a life of indolence; and, the other day, were despatching
messengers right and left to hunt up business from the
other Courts. There was, in fact, a regular battue of the
legal preserves; but, though one or two very old birds of
juniors were turned out, they had no motion in them, and
could offer no sport.
After some difficulty, a Q. C, was bagged; but he was not
instructed, and would not favour the great guns on the
bench with an elocutionary flight. To see four or five
venerable legal luminaries all of a row—the Chief occupied
in nothing, and the Puisnes helping their Chief—is a
melancholy spectacle of Judicial much-ado-about-nothing-
ness. If a solitary "compute" happens to drop in, the
judicial mind, famishing for want of fodder, flies to it with
all the alacrity of a starving crew at the last biscuit. There
is scarcely a bone of contention left from which the Judges
in Westminster Hall are enabled to pick a bit; and so
great is the dearth, that of even the smallest and most
insignificant bone they insist on getting at the marrow.
The bringing to bear of so much judicial power on a paltry
amount of work, reminds one of a team of noble dray-horses
harnessed to a child's toy wagon. We have sometimes
wondered at the policy of keeping up a war establishment
of Judges in time of peace; for never was less fighting or
litigation in Westminster Hall; but we have come to the
conclusion that five Judges are still necessary in each Court,
to keep each other company. As there is no public, no
acting bar, and no business, the only mode of keeping the
look of life about the Court is by a good strong corps of
Judges. It is true that the crew and the passengers have
all left the ship; but the officers still cling to it, which is
all right enough. Though we hardly see the necessity for
filling up—particularly at a cost of five thousand a-year
—every vacancy that arises in the command of an obso-
lete hull, which has got stuck in the mud, and is superseded
by lighter, cheaper, and faster-going vessels.
A Posthumous Work.—Some one (whom we will not dis-
grace by printing his name) says, that " The Lobster is a post-
Nice day for a Bow !! " I humous work of creation; for it is only red after its death.
THE "SPECTATOR" ON KOSSUTH.
Is Kossuth a great man ?
We are not prepared to say that Kossuth is a great man.
If, on the contrary, he is a great man ?
Why, after all, and looking at the matter from all points of view, we
must nevertheless put this question to the dispassionate sense of the
reader—that is, the reader untouched by the exaltation of the hour
and the circumstance—what is the use of a great man?
And this question, in its deep consideration, suggests another—
Since the world began (if it ever did begin), has there ever been a
great man ?
For ourselves, we candidly admit that, for an unlimited time at least,
we withhold our opinion.
A Doctrine there's no Dissenting from.
A newspaper paragraph states, that, in the Church rate Committee
of last Session,
" A number of witnesses were examined, of various opinions, on the subject of
Church-rates."
What! Can there be more than one opinion on the subject of
Church-rates ? Namely, that every farthing of the Church-rates ought
to be paid—by those who belong to the Church.
advice to the bloomers.
When the Spartan youth complained to his mother that " his sword
was too short;" the heroic matron answered, " Add a step." When
ladies, who would be Bloomers, declare that petticoats are worn too
long, laconic Punch says—" Add a tuck."
ALL BOUND THE LORD MAYOR'S HAT.
The newspapers have favoured us lately with a rather elaborate
description of the Lord Mayor's hats, including his own three-cornered
affair, and the richly cocked castors of his flunkeys. Erom the latter
depend massive tassels of lace, and the postilion's cap is surmounted
with a huge stag, under which the poor fellow would be not unlikely to
stagger. We have no doubt that the splendid official hats will be
generally recognised as the most interesting part of the official heads
of the City. All round his Lordship's hat he wears a white feather, and
from the top of it rises a plume which quite puts our humble goose-
quill out of countenance. The civic dignitaries usually favour the public
with descriptions of their livery coats, waistcoats, and breeches, but
they have never been so condescending as to hold up their hats to the
admiration of the world through the medium of the newspapers. We
must confess that we never yet heard of such a very hatty Lord Mayor,
though we have frequently heard of a Hatti-Scheriff.
THE PARLIAMENTARY SAFE.—JOHN RUSSELL begs to call the
J- attention of an enlightened and particularly discerning public to his new Parlia-
mentary Safe, about to be patented.
It is a frequent complaint, that certain Borough Constituencies (like veal in July)
will not keep sweet. J. R. might instance St. Albans, Aylesbury, and other places,
too corrupt to mention. J. F„ however, trusts that by his new invention, Constitu-
encies to any extent may be kept in the highest state of purity for seven years. It is
of very simple construction, and adapted to the meanest capacity. In fact, J. R.'s
Safe is merely an improved form of the Ballot Box that has been so long in use, and
with such complete satisfaction to the parties concerned, at the Club-Houses of the
Nobility and Gentry.
" J. R.—in returning thanks for past favours—confidently looks for patronage from
the country at large (even including St. Albans.)