Punch: Punch (21.1851)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

FUNNY MARKET AND WITTY INTELLIGENCE.

PANORAMAS ALL HOT.

By way of attracting the public to the very interesting Panorama ot
Jerusalem, at Hyde Park Corner, during the very cold season, the
Proprietors announce that—

average quality ; bat
the supply is limited
in consequence of a
scarcity of the raw-
material. The head of
a well-known facetious
firm was in the market
all last week, but there
were very few bond fide
transactions, and those
were of an insignificant
character

Conundrums were heavy, at a fraction lower tlian the previous rates,
and several hundredweight of damaged puns changed hands at a small
diminution iu prices.

An order came in during the day for five thousand articles equal to
the following sample :—

" Why is a man who does not bet, as bad as a man that does ?
—Because he's no better."

The commission was taken by the respectable firm of Wagg & Co.,
at 2|ths, which is somewhat under the old figure.

There have been one or two small failures in the Tunny Market
during the week, but the transactions of the parties were so small, that
their paper had scarcely any circulation. Their chief issue had been in
conundrums, which could not be answered on their being offered for
that purpose. One of these consisted in a demand—

" Why will there be no reason to make a Tunnel in the neighbour-
hood of Islington ?" An attempt was made to meet this demand in
the following desperate manner :—" Because there's a Holloway there
already !"

The parties to whom this was offered, refused their acceptance, and
an immediate determination to wind up the concern was arrived at.
It would have been obviously quite impossible to have gone on, with
nothing more solid than this, with which to meet accruing liabilities.
An application is to be made immediately for protection, which is really
much required, as there is much indignation against those involved in
this lamentable failure.

UR news from France
has spread a gloom over
the Funny Market ;
and the threatened ex-
clusion of French plays
has created a panic
among the dealers in
dramatic stuffs and
small piece-work. As
the burlesque orders
are now in the course
of executior, there has

been a briskness in the ,
,i.m5.j f™. ™ir.a nf on course, during the hot weather, the tone of the advertisement

LieLllctllU 1U1 yullo Ul all 111 -i 1 n , 1 r> i > * 111 *■

would be necessarily reversed; and instead or stating that provisions
have been made for warmth, it might be announced, that—

The Arctic Regions are kept cool by a ventilating apparatus;
and that—

A patent refrigerator has been added to the North Pole, for the
comfort of the numerous visitors.

the holy land is warmed.

Other Exhibitions will, of course, adopt the same mode of assuring
the public of protection against the inclemency of the weather; and
we shall be informed, no doubt, that—■

The Arctic Regions are heated by gas ;
The Falls of Niagara are supplied with warm-water pipes ;
The Nile is kept dry with hot air;
and that

The Great Globe is never without several large fires.

RATHER TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING.

We see advertised some " Crying Dolls." We must protest against
this new kind of amusement. Just as if the real thing was not
enough, but we are to have an addition to an evil, that is already suffi-
ciently " crying " in every household. We wish the inventor of this
new toy (which might be called "the Disturber of the Peace of
Private Families") to be woke up regularly in the middle of the night,

for the next twelve months to come, by one of his own " Crying Dolls," j LerdTcTme your ears likewise

THE WONDERFUL WHALERS.

(See the Bedford U. S. Mercury.)

Fathers of the Oratory,
List to my surprising tale.

Hearken to a wondrous story
More than very like a whale ;

Each mesmeric marvel-monger,

and then he will be able to see how he likes it! Let one of the Dolls,
also be "Teething;" for we should not be astonished now to hear
of "Teething Dolls," and "Coughing and Choking Dolls," with other
infantine varieties, and then the punishment of this " monster in
human form" will be complete. Dr. Guillotine perished by the
instrument he invented. The inventor of the " Crying Dolls" deserves a
similar fate. He should be shut up with all his toys " in full cry," until,
like Niobe, the crying was the death of him, and he was turned, by
some offended mythological Deity, into the " great pump," of which
his invention proclaims him to be the effigy.

A St. Albans Elector writes :—" Pray what is the meaning of the
phrase Bell's Lett res ? Which particular members of the alphabet are
they? " We believe the Letters in question to be £. s. d. We leave
our Correspondent to infer whatever meaning he pleases.

Note tor Sanitary B,e:formers.—It is probable that the Metro-
politan Interments Bill will soon be interred itself, as it certainly has
become a dead letter.

If for miracles you hunger,
You shad ope both mouth and eyes.

In the ship Ann Alexander,

Cruising in pursuit of whales,
Bold John S. Deblois, Commander,

With a crew so gallant, sails.
In the South Pacific Ocean,

Reaching to the Off Shore Ground,
'Mong the waves in wild commotion,

Several monstrous Whales they found.

These two boats did follow after,

Larboard boat, and starboard too,
And with shouts of glee and laughter,

The Leviathans pursue;
When the lai board boat, commanded

By the stout First Mate, did soon
In a Whale, with force strong-handed,

Deeply plunge a sharp harpoon.