Punch (28.1855)

PUNCH’S ESSENCE

TUESDAY, \Wi December.—Parliament met. Her Majesty de-
livered, very gracefully, a Speech which Loud Aberdeen had
written very ungrammatically. In the evening, both Houses fought
about the answer, and Derby and Dizzy expressed their conviction
that the Government had made a dreadful mull of the War. New-
castle, in the Lords, stated that they had done nothing of the kind,
and that if all the lint he had sent out to the Crimea were spread out
on the ground it would cover thirty-six acres. Sidney Herbert, in
the Commons, took, by a curious coincidence, the same view of the
merits of Government, and paid a very pretty compliment to Miss
Nightingale. These Ministerial arguments convinced the Houses,
and the address was carried.

Wednesday.—The Address was brought up. Sibtiiorpe expressed
his conviction that it would take ninety-nine foreigners to make a
thorough Englishman, but did not explain the process of manufacture.
Palmerston brought in a bill for permitting the Queen to send the
Militia out of the Country, and declared, triumphantly, that we could
have as many soldiers as we wanted, for our “ reserve ” was in the
spirit of the Nation.

Thursday.—Newcastle brought in a bill for permitting the Queen
to enlist foreigners, and declared, despondingly, that we could not get
soldiers at home, and must hire them abroad. Derby thought that
there was some little discrepancy between Palmerston’s statement and
Newcastle’s, but Aberdeen assured him that there wasn’t, and the
bill was read a second time, a pleasing compromise being effected, and
opposition assenting to a measure they called unconstitutional, on the
Government surrendering a third of the soldiers, all of whom they had
declared were essential.

OF PARLIAMENT.

Aberdeen promised the Maynooth report early in Eebruary, and
upon the news reaching the Commons, Spooner and the Irish Orange-
men began turning up their culls and glancing at the Brigade. Lucas
and his friends rushed out of the House, and went home to read up about
everything wicked that has ever been done by a Protestant, so that
there is hope for the logical and peaceful settlement of the question.

In the Commons, Cardwell promised a bill to amend the law of
partnership. He proposed that the changes should extend to political
and other coalitions, in which it was very disagreeable that one partner
should be able to bind the whole firm. Gladstone promised a measure
on the Newspaper stamp, but of course had not the faintest idea when
it would be ready.

Friday.—Yotes of thanks to our forces, and those of Prance, were
proposed in both Houses, the Government declaring that our glorious
soldiers were nobly carrying out the objects for which they were
despatched, and the opposition cordially agreeing that our men had
behaved splendidly, and the more so, inasmuch as the Government had
no object at all, and that if they had one, it was wrong, and that they
had done all in their power to hinder the success of the expedition.
The Yotes were thus carried with the utmost unanimity and cordiality.

Saturday.—The Foreign Enlistment Bill reported in the Lords.
Ellenborough declaring it very objectionable. But the Lord Chan-
cellor convinced the House of its propriety by stating that a much
more objectionable bill was passed in 1804.

Monday.—Ellenborough went at it again, and compared the
German princes who might lend us soldiers, to the African kings who j
sold their subjects as slaves. Lansdowne thought this rather strong, !
and, said that a barber out of doors would be laughed at for talking ■

Vol. 23.

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