DOI issue:
Punch's essence of parliament
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16615#0095
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
*7- |
FROZEN-OUT LAWYERS.
E fear the continuance of cold weather
would have left nothing for the law-
yers to do, but to hoist their wigs on
the top of broomsticks, and perambu-
late the streets as poor frozen out
barristers.
A scene that happened last week at
the Court of Common Pleas in Lon-
don, before the Loro Chief Justice
Jervis and a shivering jury, was sug-
gestive rather of the Arctic Regions
than of a British Tribunal, though it
must be confessed that the idea of a
Court of Just-ice was very painfully
realised. Soon after the sitting.of the
Court, it was found that a ventilating
apparatus, which had been set up at
some expense, refused to make itself
a “ chose in action,” for it would not
work, and accordingly no warm air
was admitted. Upon this discovery
being made the following scene was
enacted, according to the reports
in the papers of the twenty-second:
“ Mr. Serjeant Byles said lie Rad already been out to complain, for it was so cold
that the bar were really in a dangerous position.
“ A juryman asserted that his feet were like ice.
“His Lordship said he had complained to the City architect, and had received a
letter from him to say that the ventilation had now been made absolutely perfect; but
it appeared that the stoves had been made so perfect that they could not be lighted.
He must really adjourn the court, for the temperature was so low that it was positively
dangerous. He was obliged to sit with his hands in his pockets to keep his fingers
| warm. The neglect was scandalous, but he would undertake to say that if the Aider-
men were dining anywhere they would take care to have the place warm enough.
“ The courtrkeeper, on being sent for a second time, thought that if the gas were
lighted, it would produce some warmth; and he accordingly lighted the gas, which was
kept burning during the remainder of the day.”
It will be seen from the above extract that the Court was positively
shivered to pieces; for in consequence of the cold it was for a time
broken up. The Lord Chief Justice had, it seems, been sitting with
his hands in his pockets; but the lawyers, though they had all no
! doubt got their hands in the pockets of their clients, were unable to
| keep themselves warm. We are quite of the same opinion with his
■ Lordship as to the probability that “ if the Aldermen were dining any-
where, they would take care to have the place warm enough,” and
indeed we only wonder that the Chief Justice was able to speak with
as much coolness as he did on a subject with resoect to which the
warmest condemnation would have been justified. If even the Judge,
who has the benefit of the judicial ermine, could not endure the low
temperature, what must have been the feelings of poor Dunup in his
threadbare stuff gown and well worn paletot beneath?
A PEELITE EDUCATION !
The Post tells us what were the requirements for the Peelites (poor
fellows !)—
“ In them were to be centred high education, cultivated intellect, sharp training in the
, ways of the world, together with profound veneration forth e ways of the Church. They
were to throw the shield of their protection over the sanctities of the past—they were
to stride forth with undaunted mien to grapple with all coming difficulties of the
i future.”
To have an eye for business, and a knee for the church—to carry
your shield behind you to protect the past—and a nose before you to
smell at the future. Who wonders that poor Gladstone (with others)
has failed; and who—that has a heart—does not sympathise with the
failure ?
Aristocracy Defined.
On additional and more profound reflection on the subject of Aris-
tocracy, we have arrived at the following definition of that term, which
we apprehend is as near the mark as possible
Aristocracy. A class of persons who despise the Public, and are
venerated by the Public for that reason.
A Difference.
(Most respectfully pointed out.)
Abroad, the Sovereign goes from the Palace to the different hospitals
to inspect the Invalids.
At home, the Invalids are brought up from the hospitals to the
Palace, to be inspected by the Sovereign.
A FIELD MARSHAL FOR THE CHURCH
MILITANT.
{To the Houses of Lords and Commons.)
My Lords and Gentlemen,
In the Home whose members, my Lords, call yours “ another
place,” never mentioning it directly to each other’s “ears poiiie;”
in your House, Gentlemen ; Colonel Knox is reported to have said
in the debate on the Army Estimates :—
“The whole of the observations of the honourable Member for Lambeth resolved
themselves into a tirade against Prince Albert. Now, really, the honourable gen-
tleman should learn his lesson a little better, for he had made a gross mistake. The
honourable Member bad asked why his Royal Highness should be allowed jt 2,200
a year when other Colonels were allowed only £1.100. If the honourable gentleman
would look at the number of battalions commanded by his Royal Highness, he would
find that the increase was a perfectly just one, and that he had no right to make the
remarks he had against that distinguished personage.”
Surely, my Lords and Gentlemen, the gallant Colonel defends tbe
illustrious Prince on another than the right ground. Not the com-
mand of battalions, but the maintenance of the Prince-Consortship,
is the proper plea for his Royal Highness’s £2,200 annuity—and
who is he that expects Prince Albert to do his dignity for his clothes
and his victuals, and a few shillings a week? But is it not your Lord-
ships’ opinion, and yours, Gentlemen, that it would be better to give
the Prince £2,200 stipend for what be does, than for what lie cannot
do; for value received, in preference to value irreceivable? His
Royal Highness cannot discharge the functions of a Colonel—a
chief of warriors. You will not permit him to go to the wars, very
properly. Of course it would never do to have the husband of our
Queen returning from the field of glory in a cask of rum, or curtailed,
by the loss of an arm or a leg, of his fair proportions. He, doubtless,
would be too glad to go, and be instrumental in scattering the enemies
of his August Lady. But you won’t let him. Allow me, then, my
Lords and Gentlemen, to suggest to you that you have made him a
dummy Field-Marshal—a Twelfth-Cake mounted officer : you might as
well set him on a hobby in uniform, with a tin sword. And who do
you think would feel comfortable in such a position ? A ribald jester,
perhaps : a buffoon, a zany, a fellow who does not mind what he wears,
or how ridiculous he looks. I think I know one who would ride
a-cock-horse complacently enough in trappings more ludicrous, because
more incongruous than motley and a fool’s cap, if you would give him
£2,200 per annum. That personage might not mind prancing away
as a non-combatant Colonel. But though I might not object to this
kind of horsemanship, on those terms, I am certain, my Lords and
Gentlemen, it cannot be a pleasant exercise for Prince Albert.
The Prince, your Lordships and your Honours, wants real work to
do. He has endeavoured to distinguish himself in the Army, accord-
ing to his ability, within the scope which you allowed him. He has
been active in the capacity of a clothing Colonel; but that is a tailor’s
and a hatter’s business, and the genius of his Royal Highness is
above that of the goose. He succeeded a great deal better in the whole-
sale concern of Industry in Hyde Park.
If, my Lords and Gentlemen, Prince Albert has auy leisure which
you consider that he might employ with emolument to himself and
profit to the nation, supply him with the possibility of devoting it to
those purposes, Give him that to do which he is able to perform.—
Now, how do you know that he would not be willing to enter the
Church? His Royal Highness can deliver good discourses from the
chair—why not from the pulpit ? He cannot light—he might preach
as well as anybody. The Church, of course, is the most exalted of all
professions; the Prince might shortly become one of its most exalted
members; a Bishop. He is prevented from leading a charge; there
would be nothing to prevent him delivering one. In due time lie
might be preferred to the Metropolitan See. What an admirable
arrangement!—the spiritual and temporal heads of tbe Church united.
The Archbishop-Consort would be a famous title for the Consort ot
the Defender of the Faith. What an excellent precedent would
l thus be created: and how economical! The Consort would gain in
income considerably, whilst the country would save much by this
fusion of the Princely position with the Episcopal office—would, so to
speak, kill two birds with one stone. Let me then, my Lords and
Gentlemen, advise you to adopt—with the consent of the illustrious
party—such measures as shall ultimately tend to relieve his Royal
Highness Prince Albert of his pseudo-military appointment, and
constitute him Archbishop of Canterbury.
I have the honour to be,
My Lords and Gentlemen,
Your most obedient, and most humble Servant,
Feb. 1855, 85, Fleet Street.
Caution for the King of Prussia.
O Frederick William ! mind your P’s and Q’s;
Or Prussia, through her King, the P will lose.
*7- |
FROZEN-OUT LAWYERS.
E fear the continuance of cold weather
would have left nothing for the law-
yers to do, but to hoist their wigs on
the top of broomsticks, and perambu-
late the streets as poor frozen out
barristers.
A scene that happened last week at
the Court of Common Pleas in Lon-
don, before the Loro Chief Justice
Jervis and a shivering jury, was sug-
gestive rather of the Arctic Regions
than of a British Tribunal, though it
must be confessed that the idea of a
Court of Just-ice was very painfully
realised. Soon after the sitting.of the
Court, it was found that a ventilating
apparatus, which had been set up at
some expense, refused to make itself
a “ chose in action,” for it would not
work, and accordingly no warm air
was admitted. Upon this discovery
being made the following scene was
enacted, according to the reports
in the papers of the twenty-second:
“ Mr. Serjeant Byles said lie Rad already been out to complain, for it was so cold
that the bar were really in a dangerous position.
“ A juryman asserted that his feet were like ice.
“His Lordship said he had complained to the City architect, and had received a
letter from him to say that the ventilation had now been made absolutely perfect; but
it appeared that the stoves had been made so perfect that they could not be lighted.
He must really adjourn the court, for the temperature was so low that it was positively
dangerous. He was obliged to sit with his hands in his pockets to keep his fingers
| warm. The neglect was scandalous, but he would undertake to say that if the Aider-
men were dining anywhere they would take care to have the place warm enough.
“ The courtrkeeper, on being sent for a second time, thought that if the gas were
lighted, it would produce some warmth; and he accordingly lighted the gas, which was
kept burning during the remainder of the day.”
It will be seen from the above extract that the Court was positively
shivered to pieces; for in consequence of the cold it was for a time
broken up. The Lord Chief Justice had, it seems, been sitting with
his hands in his pockets; but the lawyers, though they had all no
! doubt got their hands in the pockets of their clients, were unable to
| keep themselves warm. We are quite of the same opinion with his
■ Lordship as to the probability that “ if the Aldermen were dining any-
where, they would take care to have the place warm enough,” and
indeed we only wonder that the Chief Justice was able to speak with
as much coolness as he did on a subject with resoect to which the
warmest condemnation would have been justified. If even the Judge,
who has the benefit of the judicial ermine, could not endure the low
temperature, what must have been the feelings of poor Dunup in his
threadbare stuff gown and well worn paletot beneath?
A PEELITE EDUCATION !
The Post tells us what were the requirements for the Peelites (poor
fellows !)—
“ In them were to be centred high education, cultivated intellect, sharp training in the
, ways of the world, together with profound veneration forth e ways of the Church. They
were to throw the shield of their protection over the sanctities of the past—they were
to stride forth with undaunted mien to grapple with all coming difficulties of the
i future.”
To have an eye for business, and a knee for the church—to carry
your shield behind you to protect the past—and a nose before you to
smell at the future. Who wonders that poor Gladstone (with others)
has failed; and who—that has a heart—does not sympathise with the
failure ?
Aristocracy Defined.
On additional and more profound reflection on the subject of Aris-
tocracy, we have arrived at the following definition of that term, which
we apprehend is as near the mark as possible
Aristocracy. A class of persons who despise the Public, and are
venerated by the Public for that reason.
A Difference.
(Most respectfully pointed out.)
Abroad, the Sovereign goes from the Palace to the different hospitals
to inspect the Invalids.
At home, the Invalids are brought up from the hospitals to the
Palace, to be inspected by the Sovereign.
A FIELD MARSHAL FOR THE CHURCH
MILITANT.
{To the Houses of Lords and Commons.)
My Lords and Gentlemen,
In the Home whose members, my Lords, call yours “ another
place,” never mentioning it directly to each other’s “ears poiiie;”
in your House, Gentlemen ; Colonel Knox is reported to have said
in the debate on the Army Estimates :—
“The whole of the observations of the honourable Member for Lambeth resolved
themselves into a tirade against Prince Albert. Now, really, the honourable gen-
tleman should learn his lesson a little better, for he had made a gross mistake. The
honourable Member bad asked why his Royal Highness should be allowed jt 2,200
a year when other Colonels were allowed only £1.100. If the honourable gentleman
would look at the number of battalions commanded by his Royal Highness, he would
find that the increase was a perfectly just one, and that he had no right to make the
remarks he had against that distinguished personage.”
Surely, my Lords and Gentlemen, the gallant Colonel defends tbe
illustrious Prince on another than the right ground. Not the com-
mand of battalions, but the maintenance of the Prince-Consortship,
is the proper plea for his Royal Highness’s £2,200 annuity—and
who is he that expects Prince Albert to do his dignity for his clothes
and his victuals, and a few shillings a week? But is it not your Lord-
ships’ opinion, and yours, Gentlemen, that it would be better to give
the Prince £2,200 stipend for what be does, than for what lie cannot
do; for value received, in preference to value irreceivable? His
Royal Highness cannot discharge the functions of a Colonel—a
chief of warriors. You will not permit him to go to the wars, very
properly. Of course it would never do to have the husband of our
Queen returning from the field of glory in a cask of rum, or curtailed,
by the loss of an arm or a leg, of his fair proportions. He, doubtless,
would be too glad to go, and be instrumental in scattering the enemies
of his August Lady. But you won’t let him. Allow me, then, my
Lords and Gentlemen, to suggest to you that you have made him a
dummy Field-Marshal—a Twelfth-Cake mounted officer : you might as
well set him on a hobby in uniform, with a tin sword. And who do
you think would feel comfortable in such a position ? A ribald jester,
perhaps : a buffoon, a zany, a fellow who does not mind what he wears,
or how ridiculous he looks. I think I know one who would ride
a-cock-horse complacently enough in trappings more ludicrous, because
more incongruous than motley and a fool’s cap, if you would give him
£2,200 per annum. That personage might not mind prancing away
as a non-combatant Colonel. But though I might not object to this
kind of horsemanship, on those terms, I am certain, my Lords and
Gentlemen, it cannot be a pleasant exercise for Prince Albert.
The Prince, your Lordships and your Honours, wants real work to
do. He has endeavoured to distinguish himself in the Army, accord-
ing to his ability, within the scope which you allowed him. He has
been active in the capacity of a clothing Colonel; but that is a tailor’s
and a hatter’s business, and the genius of his Royal Highness is
above that of the goose. He succeeded a great deal better in the whole-
sale concern of Industry in Hyde Park.
If, my Lords and Gentlemen, Prince Albert has auy leisure which
you consider that he might employ with emolument to himself and
profit to the nation, supply him with the possibility of devoting it to
those purposes, Give him that to do which he is able to perform.—
Now, how do you know that he would not be willing to enter the
Church? His Royal Highness can deliver good discourses from the
chair—why not from the pulpit ? He cannot light—he might preach
as well as anybody. The Church, of course, is the most exalted of all
professions; the Prince might shortly become one of its most exalted
members; a Bishop. He is prevented from leading a charge; there
would be nothing to prevent him delivering one. In due time lie
might be preferred to the Metropolitan See. What an admirable
arrangement!—the spiritual and temporal heads of tbe Church united.
The Archbishop-Consort would be a famous title for the Consort ot
the Defender of the Faith. What an excellent precedent would
l thus be created: and how economical! The Consort would gain in
income considerably, whilst the country would save much by this
fusion of the Princely position with the Episcopal office—would, so to
speak, kill two birds with one stone. Let me then, my Lords and
Gentlemen, advise you to adopt—with the consent of the illustrious
party—such measures as shall ultimately tend to relieve his Royal
Highness Prince Albert of his pseudo-military appointment, and
constitute him Archbishop of Canterbury.
I have the honour to be,
My Lords and Gentlemen,
Your most obedient, and most humble Servant,
Feb. 1855, 85, Fleet Street.
Caution for the King of Prussia.
O Frederick William ! mind your P’s and Q’s;
Or Prussia, through her King, the P will lose.