DOI issue:
Punch's essence of parliament
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16615#0146
138
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE WONDER AT WOLVERHAMPTON EXPLAINED.
i
ELD oil does Mr. Punch
take the opportunity
■which so frequently
occurs, of blowing his
own trumpet. On
that instrument he
will now indulge in a
solo, net in justice to
himself alone, but
rather in justice to
another person. That
individual is the Rev.
William Dalton, of
Wolverhampton.
Mr. Punch, in his
last number but one,
animadverted on a
report which had ap-
peared in the Wol-
verhampton Herald,
to the effect that
Mr. Dalton had, at
a Relief Committee
Meeting, “ opposed
the feeding of the
poor on the Sab-
bath.” Inability to
credit a story which
represented that gen-
tleman in so unfa-
vourable a light was
strongly expressed by
Mr. Punch,who added
his opinion that the
Wolverhampton Herald had been led to make the statement in question by some
strange mistake. _
In this supposition Mr. Punch is delighted to find that he was right. The Mayor
of Wolverhampton, Mu. Shipton, has favoured Mr. Punch with a letter, remon-
strating with him on his remarks in reference to the report above mentioned—
remarks which, Mr. Punch begs to remind the Mayor, were all hypothetical. And
Mr. Punch has great pleasure in announcing, on Mr. Shipton’s authority, that his
hypothesis that Mr. Dalton had not tried to prevent an act of charity on a
Sunday, was perfectly correct. Mr. Shipton informs Mr. Punch that “the Sub-
Committee appointed to superintend the production of the soup, stated their
inability to be ready with a sufficient quantity for delivery before Monday.” Mr.
Shipton further says, that there existed “ weighty reasons of an official character
against “ the Sunday distribution, even if the Sunday distribution had been
possible.” That it was impossible, Mr. Punch presumes to have been the principal
reason why Mr. Dalton objected to it; and no wonder that this objection was
shared by a very large majority of the Committee.
Mr. Punch further suggested, that if Mr. Dalton opposed the feeding of the
poor on Sunday, it was because he had already fed them himself- Mr. Punch is
additionally gratified by the discovery, from the Mayor’s letter, that he was so far
right in this surmise also, that Mr. Dalton was “one of the most forward,” if not
“the foremost in promoting the Town Meeting, and raising the fund,” having
himself contributed £20 towards the £200 collection, besides distributing largely
from his private purse to his own parish poor.
The readers of Mr. Punch will admit the accuracy of his suppositions in explana-
tion of the Wolverhampton wonder to have been extraordinary. Lest any of them
should, however, have conceived opposite views, he rejoices in being enabled to
exhibit Mr. Dalton to them in the character, not of the Sabbatarian Pharisee,
but of the Good Samaritan.
they should remain standing in her mere waiting-rooms;
but were he to assert such an opinion, it might be proper
to remind him that, the congregation does sit occasionally,
at least, even in Church.
ODE TO MR. LAYARD.
La YARD, whose energy and perseverence
From Nimroud’s human-headed bulls with wings,
Did of the sand of ages, make a clearance :
Those giant-idols of Assyrian kings ;
Those monuments of sacred story, which,
Britain’s Museum, thanks to thee, enrich,
Whereat a peep were not an ill-judged boon
To working men on Sunday afternoon.
As in unearthing Ninevite antiquities
Thou strovest manfully, thou now dost strive
From mess and mire of blunders and iniquities
The British Bull to extricate alive ;
John Bull to disinter, and disencumber
His shoulders of official lumber.
Tne lure of office cannot woo
Thee from tby duty, nor the frown
Of power deter ; nor can pooh-pooh,
Or angry clamour, put thee down.
Layard, thou art a man of pith.
Of resolution, and determination,
Not to be bullied, coaxed, or trifled with
By knaves who want to burke investigation!
The bush thou beatest not about.
Thy question goes directly to the mark.
And so the truth thou gettest out
Of some that fain would keep it dark—
The truth, the sad truth, which the Clerks of Peel
Tried unavailing dodges to conceal.
Thou from unwilling witnesses hast wrung,
How England’s dying soldiers wrnre neglected,
Tracing the causes whence their misery sprung,
What incapacity hast thou detected !
Mismanagement belief that passes.
Which wholly unaccountable appears,
Except we should suppose that actual asses
With real hoofs and hides, and tails, and ears,
Had.formed the Mal-administration,
Which has so nearly smashed the British nation;
And there are Commons, people say,
’Mong which such donkies may be heard to bray,
Although of that sagacious race
Some wake the echoes of Another Place.
Layard, persist; to thy herculean task,
Tenaciously as wax of Crispin, stick,
From Lolly and Misconduct tear the mask,
Not caring how the Asses kick.
Expose the mischiefs of Routine,
In spite of Placemen’s interested howl,
Of Humbug’s gentle voice and decent mien,
Let neither dealings foul,
Nor blunders, thy research escape,
And snap the ties of that Red Tape,
In whose pestiferous folds John Bull, entangled,
Is writhing like Laocoon :
And if not quickly liberated, John
Will stand a serious chance of being strangled.
A LESSON EOR THE LORD CHAMBERLAIN.
The part of Polonius at the British Court does not appear to be performed so
well as it might be. In a letter to the Times, signed “ H,” complaint is made
that the crush and rush in the ante-rooms, on the occasion of a) Royal Drawing
Room, are intolerable ; tha‘ ladies and aged persons suffer dreadfully from heat
and fatigue: all which misery might be remedied by an easy arrangement.. But,
the incompetency of Polonius is more particularly evident from the subjoined
extract from “H’s ” letter :—
i “ The drawing-room commences at 2 o’clock. Many ladies, to avoid the bear garden they would
otherwise have to pass through, go at 12 o’clock; and as no seats are allowed, they are compelled
to stand fur two or three hours.”
That is much more than any rational person would stand who had the option of
going; and the only wonder is, that the inconvenience of having to stand so long
i does not cure that of the crowd. What a shame it is that Polonius does not
provide seats for the people who come to pay their respects to their Queen !—as
) Her Majesty, when she comes to know how her visitors are neglected, will no doubt
{ command him to do. Polonius cannot say that respect for the Sovereign requires that
The War in Black and White.
The evidence taken by the Committee on the State of
the Army before Sebastopol, shows that Lord’ Raglan
is always writing—at his desk till early morning; that
Commissary Eilder is continually writing also—quill
driving for seventy-two hours at a stretch: and that writing
constitutes, to an equal extent, the employment of the
heads of the Medical Department. Nothing but, pen ink
and paper!—one would think the present struggle was a
paper war: and we cannot be surprised that affairs in the
Crimea are stationary.
DIRECT FROM THE SEAT OF WAR.
The last despatches of Lord Raglan were nearly sent
back from the Horse Guards to the Custom House, for some
one had waggishly inscribed on them, “ A Box of Dates.”
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE WONDER AT WOLVERHAMPTON EXPLAINED.
i
ELD oil does Mr. Punch
take the opportunity
■which so frequently
occurs, of blowing his
own trumpet. On
that instrument he
will now indulge in a
solo, net in justice to
himself alone, but
rather in justice to
another person. That
individual is the Rev.
William Dalton, of
Wolverhampton.
Mr. Punch, in his
last number but one,
animadverted on a
report which had ap-
peared in the Wol-
verhampton Herald,
to the effect that
Mr. Dalton had, at
a Relief Committee
Meeting, “ opposed
the feeding of the
poor on the Sab-
bath.” Inability to
credit a story which
represented that gen-
tleman in so unfa-
vourable a light was
strongly expressed by
Mr. Punch,who added
his opinion that the
Wolverhampton Herald had been led to make the statement in question by some
strange mistake. _
In this supposition Mr. Punch is delighted to find that he was right. The Mayor
of Wolverhampton, Mu. Shipton, has favoured Mr. Punch with a letter, remon-
strating with him on his remarks in reference to the report above mentioned—
remarks which, Mr. Punch begs to remind the Mayor, were all hypothetical. And
Mr. Punch has great pleasure in announcing, on Mr. Shipton’s authority, that his
hypothesis that Mr. Dalton had not tried to prevent an act of charity on a
Sunday, was perfectly correct. Mr. Shipton informs Mr. Punch that “the Sub-
Committee appointed to superintend the production of the soup, stated their
inability to be ready with a sufficient quantity for delivery before Monday.” Mr.
Shipton further says, that there existed “ weighty reasons of an official character
against “ the Sunday distribution, even if the Sunday distribution had been
possible.” That it was impossible, Mr. Punch presumes to have been the principal
reason why Mr. Dalton objected to it; and no wonder that this objection was
shared by a very large majority of the Committee.
Mr. Punch further suggested, that if Mr. Dalton opposed the feeding of the
poor on Sunday, it was because he had already fed them himself- Mr. Punch is
additionally gratified by the discovery, from the Mayor’s letter, that he was so far
right in this surmise also, that Mr. Dalton was “one of the most forward,” if not
“the foremost in promoting the Town Meeting, and raising the fund,” having
himself contributed £20 towards the £200 collection, besides distributing largely
from his private purse to his own parish poor.
The readers of Mr. Punch will admit the accuracy of his suppositions in explana-
tion of the Wolverhampton wonder to have been extraordinary. Lest any of them
should, however, have conceived opposite views, he rejoices in being enabled to
exhibit Mr. Dalton to them in the character, not of the Sabbatarian Pharisee,
but of the Good Samaritan.
they should remain standing in her mere waiting-rooms;
but were he to assert such an opinion, it might be proper
to remind him that, the congregation does sit occasionally,
at least, even in Church.
ODE TO MR. LAYARD.
La YARD, whose energy and perseverence
From Nimroud’s human-headed bulls with wings,
Did of the sand of ages, make a clearance :
Those giant-idols of Assyrian kings ;
Those monuments of sacred story, which,
Britain’s Museum, thanks to thee, enrich,
Whereat a peep were not an ill-judged boon
To working men on Sunday afternoon.
As in unearthing Ninevite antiquities
Thou strovest manfully, thou now dost strive
From mess and mire of blunders and iniquities
The British Bull to extricate alive ;
John Bull to disinter, and disencumber
His shoulders of official lumber.
Tne lure of office cannot woo
Thee from tby duty, nor the frown
Of power deter ; nor can pooh-pooh,
Or angry clamour, put thee down.
Layard, thou art a man of pith.
Of resolution, and determination,
Not to be bullied, coaxed, or trifled with
By knaves who want to burke investigation!
The bush thou beatest not about.
Thy question goes directly to the mark.
And so the truth thou gettest out
Of some that fain would keep it dark—
The truth, the sad truth, which the Clerks of Peel
Tried unavailing dodges to conceal.
Thou from unwilling witnesses hast wrung,
How England’s dying soldiers wrnre neglected,
Tracing the causes whence their misery sprung,
What incapacity hast thou detected !
Mismanagement belief that passes.
Which wholly unaccountable appears,
Except we should suppose that actual asses
With real hoofs and hides, and tails, and ears,
Had.formed the Mal-administration,
Which has so nearly smashed the British nation;
And there are Commons, people say,
’Mong which such donkies may be heard to bray,
Although of that sagacious race
Some wake the echoes of Another Place.
Layard, persist; to thy herculean task,
Tenaciously as wax of Crispin, stick,
From Lolly and Misconduct tear the mask,
Not caring how the Asses kick.
Expose the mischiefs of Routine,
In spite of Placemen’s interested howl,
Of Humbug’s gentle voice and decent mien,
Let neither dealings foul,
Nor blunders, thy research escape,
And snap the ties of that Red Tape,
In whose pestiferous folds John Bull, entangled,
Is writhing like Laocoon :
And if not quickly liberated, John
Will stand a serious chance of being strangled.
A LESSON EOR THE LORD CHAMBERLAIN.
The part of Polonius at the British Court does not appear to be performed so
well as it might be. In a letter to the Times, signed “ H,” complaint is made
that the crush and rush in the ante-rooms, on the occasion of a) Royal Drawing
Room, are intolerable ; tha‘ ladies and aged persons suffer dreadfully from heat
and fatigue: all which misery might be remedied by an easy arrangement.. But,
the incompetency of Polonius is more particularly evident from the subjoined
extract from “H’s ” letter :—
i “ The drawing-room commences at 2 o’clock. Many ladies, to avoid the bear garden they would
otherwise have to pass through, go at 12 o’clock; and as no seats are allowed, they are compelled
to stand fur two or three hours.”
That is much more than any rational person would stand who had the option of
going; and the only wonder is, that the inconvenience of having to stand so long
i does not cure that of the crowd. What a shame it is that Polonius does not
provide seats for the people who come to pay their respects to their Queen !—as
) Her Majesty, when she comes to know how her visitors are neglected, will no doubt
{ command him to do. Polonius cannot say that respect for the Sovereign requires that
The War in Black and White.
The evidence taken by the Committee on the State of
the Army before Sebastopol, shows that Lord’ Raglan
is always writing—at his desk till early morning; that
Commissary Eilder is continually writing also—quill
driving for seventy-two hours at a stretch: and that writing
constitutes, to an equal extent, the employment of the
heads of the Medical Department. Nothing but, pen ink
and paper!—one would think the present struggle was a
paper war: and we cannot be surprised that affairs in the
Crimea are stationary.
DIRECT FROM THE SEAT OF WAR.
The last despatches of Lord Raglan were nearly sent
back from the Horse Guards to the Custom House, for some
one had waggishly inscribed on them, “ A Box of Dates.”