DOI issue:
Punch's essence of parliament
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16615#0160
152
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
A/A\r
OFFICIAL DEMAND WITHOUT SUPPLY.
AN ordinary man of business,
who expects a demand, will be
prepared with a supply; but
government business is con-
ducted on quite the opposite
principle. The conduct of the
war—or rather the misconduct
of the official departments—■
has furnished lamentable in-
stances of the gross neglect by
which wants, that it was well
known would arise, were left
unprovided for until long after
tiiey had existed; while, in
some cases, there has been no
supply to meet the demand, or
the supply has been left t,o rot
within a short distance of the
very place where the demand
has remained unsatisfied. The
excuse urged for this gross
trifling with the necessities of the public service, has been the novelty
of the circumstances arising out of tin war; but the same tardiness
in preparing a supply to meet the demmd is an old official habit, tor
which there is no excuse whatever. It is not long ago that an objec-
tion was made to the Unrried manner of passing through the esti-
mates, when Mr. Wilson, the Secretary to the Treasury, explained
that if the estimates were not passed the Government servants could
not be paid their salaries, and he very properly complained of the
deia.\ often thrown in the way of the estimates by long-winded debates,
which ind in nothing, and occupy the early part of the session, to the
exclusion ul ihe real ousiuess ol me country. This is all very true, but
as we have now got a business man at the Treasury, in the shape of
Mr. Wilson himself, and a clever and conscientious man at the
Exchequer, in the shape of Sir G. C. Lewis, we shall expect them to
unite in the determination to insist on the business of their departments
being brought on at the proper time, to aduiit of the payment
of the public salaries without hurrying on the estimates with
an indecent haste, which precludes the possibility of wholesome
scrutiny. Official salaries are, it is well known, payable at pertain
fixed times, aud provision should be made to meet the demand, instead!
of its being necessary to wake up the officials every quarter to the
recollection that there are certain claims that have to be satisfied.
“ Punctuality is the soul of business,” is a maxim that should be
kept in mind by those to whom the business of the country is confided,
and we hope Mr. Wilson, who as a sound economist knows the value
of the economy of time, will allow none to be wasted m that depart-
ment at least which has the benefit of his abilities.
CONCERTS IN THE OPEN AIR.
Among the numerous amusements of the season, none seems to
equal in novelty the entertainment offered to the inhabitants of Ruddle
Moor (a place we never heard of and never hope to see) by the
following advertisement:—
PROVIDENCE brass band.
A CONCERT will be given by this Band, (in the open air), at Ruddle
Moor, near St. Austell, on Good Friday, (D.V.) to commence at Two o Clock in
the Afternoon. Mr. William Hooper will preside at the Drum.
At the close of the Performances a Collection will be made in aid of the above Band.
Leader.—Mr. JOHN BENNETTS.
Dated St. Austell, March 16th, 1855.
We have searched in vain our Maps and our Geographies to find the
position of Ruddle Moor on the Map of Europe, and we can only con-
clude, therefore, that it is a sort of second Mitcham, a suburb which
we have dragged from its obscurity and placed on the tip of a thousand
tongues, that now wag familiarly with a name that once was only—
' Whisper’d in Croydon or mutter’d in Cheam,
While Tooting caught softly the sound like a dream.”
The “Providence Brass Band” is, we presume, a sort of provincial
Philharmonic affair, and its tone and character may be gathered from
the fact that it is in its element in the open air, and that the drum is
its principal instrument. We cannot form any very accurate notion of
its favourite morceaux, for we hardly see what composer’s works can be
very “ conscientiously rendered ” where the drum is the chief executant.
These open air concerts are perhaps founded on the Musical Union of
our friend Ella, who continues to advertise his “family sofas to hold
three,” and who will perhaps ultimately find it necessary to provide
bedsteads for the accommodation of those who go to yawn over the
extracts from the various Ops of Bach, and other ponderous masters of
the elaborate art of counterpoint.
A LADY’S POSTSCRIPT TO A CRIMEAN LETTER.
TP A. ‘ 1 tl sene) ijou, t)ea.i JU’jrei), a complete TPfloto
cjrapfuc apparatus, wiucfi uuff amuse you douHfessfy That stream unto the heart
op- -p % Jugular veins restore;
tit youi momenta o| leisure , aud if you could sem) me; forb?d those veins t0 play their
Louie, Dear, a yooD view of a mec {rattle, 0 sfionfc) feel
exticiuely o(rfiycD.”
TP *)., fts o. 2. Af you could take tire o
APPEAL TO GENERAL BROWN.
or Eirmness, brave old Brown
Surpasses any rock,
But, that large bump upon his crown
Maintains the leather stock.
Now, when that bump’s too big.
In metaphor ’tis said
That it’s possessor is a pig,
Considered as to head.
My General Brown, give ear
To Reason’s gentle tones :
Do not, oh ! do not, persevere
In choking Private Jones.
Carotid arteries give
The brain of Jones supply
Of vital stream, and Jones can’t live
Those vessels if you tie.
part.
And Jones will be no more.
new,
I 0
ust ih the moment of victory, J ftiouft) like it aft’ tlie
Letter.”
I
Trachea in his neck
•v Doth Private Junes possess;
e 7 You Jones’s respiration check.
That tube if you compiess.
(Esophagus likewise
Hath Private Jones therein ;
Of food you cut off his supplies,
Writh strap beneath his chin.
Brave heart ! let not thy head
Acquire the name of block ;
Let Jones be killed by steel or lead.
But not be slain by stock.
His circulation free
Leave Jones, my brave old
Brown ;
And let him breathe, and able be
To get his rations down.
ATOTICE.—IF THE GENTLEMAN ON THE SECOND FLOOR
-L' does nor, on and after the 31st of this month, give up playing the Accordion, or i
make some arrangement for practising it for something less than ten hours a day, the
Gentleman on the Third Floor gives notice that he will really be compelled, in
self-defence, to learn the Big Drum, or take lessons on the Ophicleide, or become a
pupil of some learned Professor of the Chinese Gong, for all of which instruments his
heart, not less than his ear, has always entertained the most lively sympathy : and
the Gentleman on this Third Floor further gives notice that, as silence is
indispensably necessary for the proper mastery of those melodious instruments, he
shall not commence his studies until such an hour as he can be sure of commanding
the most perfect stillness and repose in the House. These studies (rarely commencing
before 1 a.m.) will be continued nightly, up to such a period as the Gentleman on the
Third Floor becomes as great a proficient on the Chinese Gong as the Gentleman
on the Second is on the Accordion. N.B. Skittles will also be given during the
festive season, for which purpose tile Third Floor has been fitted up into a temporary
skittle-ground,—only it is hoped that the Gentleman on the Second Floor does not
sleep underneath.
Quiet Chambers, Regent Street.
An Odd Coincidence.
The Gardeners’ Chronicle tells us that the War with Russia has
already increased the price of garden mats: adding “the great con-
sumers of Russia mats must find a substir,ate, for bast is necessary to
the business.” We now clearly see the importance of the war to the
interests of gardening; for is not bast at least one fourth of Se-bast-
o-pol ?
OUR IGNORAMUSES.
In America the Know-nothings are becoming every day more popular,
while m England the very reverse is the case, if we are to judge by the
increasing unpopularity of our men in office.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
A/A\r
OFFICIAL DEMAND WITHOUT SUPPLY.
AN ordinary man of business,
who expects a demand, will be
prepared with a supply; but
government business is con-
ducted on quite the opposite
principle. The conduct of the
war—or rather the misconduct
of the official departments—■
has furnished lamentable in-
stances of the gross neglect by
which wants, that it was well
known would arise, were left
unprovided for until long after
tiiey had existed; while, in
some cases, there has been no
supply to meet the demand, or
the supply has been left t,o rot
within a short distance of the
very place where the demand
has remained unsatisfied. The
excuse urged for this gross
trifling with the necessities of the public service, has been the novelty
of the circumstances arising out of tin war; but the same tardiness
in preparing a supply to meet the demmd is an old official habit, tor
which there is no excuse whatever. It is not long ago that an objec-
tion was made to the Unrried manner of passing through the esti-
mates, when Mr. Wilson, the Secretary to the Treasury, explained
that if the estimates were not passed the Government servants could
not be paid their salaries, and he very properly complained of the
deia.\ often thrown in the way of the estimates by long-winded debates,
which ind in nothing, and occupy the early part of the session, to the
exclusion ul ihe real ousiuess ol me country. This is all very true, but
as we have now got a business man at the Treasury, in the shape of
Mr. Wilson himself, and a clever and conscientious man at the
Exchequer, in the shape of Sir G. C. Lewis, we shall expect them to
unite in the determination to insist on the business of their departments
being brought on at the proper time, to aduiit of the payment
of the public salaries without hurrying on the estimates with
an indecent haste, which precludes the possibility of wholesome
scrutiny. Official salaries are, it is well known, payable at pertain
fixed times, aud provision should be made to meet the demand, instead!
of its being necessary to wake up the officials every quarter to the
recollection that there are certain claims that have to be satisfied.
“ Punctuality is the soul of business,” is a maxim that should be
kept in mind by those to whom the business of the country is confided,
and we hope Mr. Wilson, who as a sound economist knows the value
of the economy of time, will allow none to be wasted m that depart-
ment at least which has the benefit of his abilities.
CONCERTS IN THE OPEN AIR.
Among the numerous amusements of the season, none seems to
equal in novelty the entertainment offered to the inhabitants of Ruddle
Moor (a place we never heard of and never hope to see) by the
following advertisement:—
PROVIDENCE brass band.
A CONCERT will be given by this Band, (in the open air), at Ruddle
Moor, near St. Austell, on Good Friday, (D.V.) to commence at Two o Clock in
the Afternoon. Mr. William Hooper will preside at the Drum.
At the close of the Performances a Collection will be made in aid of the above Band.
Leader.—Mr. JOHN BENNETTS.
Dated St. Austell, March 16th, 1855.
We have searched in vain our Maps and our Geographies to find the
position of Ruddle Moor on the Map of Europe, and we can only con-
clude, therefore, that it is a sort of second Mitcham, a suburb which
we have dragged from its obscurity and placed on the tip of a thousand
tongues, that now wag familiarly with a name that once was only—
' Whisper’d in Croydon or mutter’d in Cheam,
While Tooting caught softly the sound like a dream.”
The “Providence Brass Band” is, we presume, a sort of provincial
Philharmonic affair, and its tone and character may be gathered from
the fact that it is in its element in the open air, and that the drum is
its principal instrument. We cannot form any very accurate notion of
its favourite morceaux, for we hardly see what composer’s works can be
very “ conscientiously rendered ” where the drum is the chief executant.
These open air concerts are perhaps founded on the Musical Union of
our friend Ella, who continues to advertise his “family sofas to hold
three,” and who will perhaps ultimately find it necessary to provide
bedsteads for the accommodation of those who go to yawn over the
extracts from the various Ops of Bach, and other ponderous masters of
the elaborate art of counterpoint.
A LADY’S POSTSCRIPT TO A CRIMEAN LETTER.
TP A. ‘ 1 tl sene) ijou, t)ea.i JU’jrei), a complete TPfloto
cjrapfuc apparatus, wiucfi uuff amuse you douHfessfy That stream unto the heart
op- -p % Jugular veins restore;
tit youi momenta o| leisure , aud if you could sem) me; forb?d those veins t0 play their
Louie, Dear, a yooD view of a mec {rattle, 0 sfionfc) feel
exticiuely o(rfiycD.”
TP *)., fts o. 2. Af you could take tire o
APPEAL TO GENERAL BROWN.
or Eirmness, brave old Brown
Surpasses any rock,
But, that large bump upon his crown
Maintains the leather stock.
Now, when that bump’s too big.
In metaphor ’tis said
That it’s possessor is a pig,
Considered as to head.
My General Brown, give ear
To Reason’s gentle tones :
Do not, oh ! do not, persevere
In choking Private Jones.
Carotid arteries give
The brain of Jones supply
Of vital stream, and Jones can’t live
Those vessels if you tie.
part.
And Jones will be no more.
new,
I 0
ust ih the moment of victory, J ftiouft) like it aft’ tlie
Letter.”
I
Trachea in his neck
•v Doth Private Junes possess;
e 7 You Jones’s respiration check.
That tube if you compiess.
(Esophagus likewise
Hath Private Jones therein ;
Of food you cut off his supplies,
Writh strap beneath his chin.
Brave heart ! let not thy head
Acquire the name of block ;
Let Jones be killed by steel or lead.
But not be slain by stock.
His circulation free
Leave Jones, my brave old
Brown ;
And let him breathe, and able be
To get his rations down.
ATOTICE.—IF THE GENTLEMAN ON THE SECOND FLOOR
-L' does nor, on and after the 31st of this month, give up playing the Accordion, or i
make some arrangement for practising it for something less than ten hours a day, the
Gentleman on the Third Floor gives notice that he will really be compelled, in
self-defence, to learn the Big Drum, or take lessons on the Ophicleide, or become a
pupil of some learned Professor of the Chinese Gong, for all of which instruments his
heart, not less than his ear, has always entertained the most lively sympathy : and
the Gentleman on this Third Floor further gives notice that, as silence is
indispensably necessary for the proper mastery of those melodious instruments, he
shall not commence his studies until such an hour as he can be sure of commanding
the most perfect stillness and repose in the House. These studies (rarely commencing
before 1 a.m.) will be continued nightly, up to such a period as the Gentleman on the
Third Floor becomes as great a proficient on the Chinese Gong as the Gentleman
on the Second is on the Accordion. N.B. Skittles will also be given during the
festive season, for which purpose tile Third Floor has been fitted up into a temporary
skittle-ground,—only it is hoped that the Gentleman on the Second Floor does not
sleep underneath.
Quiet Chambers, Regent Street.
An Odd Coincidence.
The Gardeners’ Chronicle tells us that the War with Russia has
already increased the price of garden mats: adding “the great con-
sumers of Russia mats must find a substir,ate, for bast is necessary to
the business.” We now clearly see the importance of the war to the
interests of gardening; for is not bast at least one fourth of Se-bast-
o-pol ?
OUR IGNORAMUSES.
In America the Know-nothings are becoming every day more popular,
while m England the very reverse is the case, if we are to judge by the
increasing unpopularity of our men in office.