DOI Heft:
Punch's essence of parliament
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16615#0233
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
225
THE GO-AHEAD SAINTS.
Exeter Hall bas long been
celebrated as a sort ol uni-
versal meeting-house; a con-
venticle in common for Pro-
testants of all denominations.
Its walls have often shaken
with denunciations of Popery,
on account of the superad-
ditions which Popery has
made to primitive truth. The
other evening those walls
vibrated to the eloquence of
what would seem to be a new
sect, bearing a very consider-
able resemblance to Popery
in that very particular for
which Popery has so fre-i
quently been objected to in
Exeter Hall. The creed of i
these sectaries is an American
import. It is not, however,
Mormonism, though advo-
cated on the same ground
as that on which the Latter-
Day Saints defend the reli-
gion of Joe Smith. The
chief argument advanced in
its behalf is, that it has
worked well in America. So,
infancy, although some of its
disciples appear to be in their dotage. So young is it, that it has not hitherto received a name,
; We have proposed one for its adherents. “ The Go-ahead Saints,” like the Saints just
mentioned, resemble the Mahometans: not however in what they allow, but in what they
deny. Going ahead of all churches (except the Turkish) they have formed themselves into
a ‘' United Kingdom Alliance,” not merely for the propagation, but absolutely for the
imposition of their doctrine. They hold that the sale of alcoholic liquors is unlawful morally,
and ought therefore to be prohibited by statute law. This tenet they found of course on a
prior axiom, which condemns the use of such liquors. The common religion of the Bishops
and Clergy, Homan Catholic and Protestant, and of the Nonconformists also, only condemns
their abuse. These PreterChristians—as we may also designate them—denounce as evil the
sale of that fluid, which, at a certain nuptial festival, was supplied by a Donor, all of whose
gifts are considered by mere Christians to be good.
At the Exeter Hall Meeting of these religionists the object of their “Alliance” was
stated by Sir W. C. Trevelyan, who occupied the chair, to be the “total and immediate
legislative suppression of the traffic in all intoxicating beverages,” that is of all drinks that.
■will cause drunkenness, if taken in excess. They want, therefore, to enforce their system of'
Preterchristianity by penalties, that is by persecution; and here again our friends the
Preterchristians resemble our friends the Papists.
The Preterchristians, or Go-Ahead Saints, must not be confounded with the Teetotallers.
They themselves deny the identity of those people with themselves. We find Sir B. W.
Carden stating that
“ The Alliance reverenced the Teetotallers, and he believed them to be a good and a great ally to the cause; but
the Alliance and Teetotallers were two separate bodies.”
Yes. There is a very important difference between them. The Teetotaller Proper, the
Teetotaller Pure and Simple—is a person who, not being able to partake of the cordial glass
in moderation, does the next best thing by abstaining from it. Such a teetotaller did Samuel
Johnson become, and who does not “reverence the teetotallers” that are such as Samuel
Johnson? Sir Pl. W. Carden’s co-religionists appear not so much to be piactitioners
of abstinence themselves as individuals who desire to enforce its practice on others. The
Earl oe Harrington stated that their object is only to prevent the sale of alcoholic liquors.
They are quite right in repudiating the name of Teetotallers ; to describe themselves
accurately they should assume that of Tee/actotallers. They appear to affect less the self-;
denial of indulgence than the denial of indulgence to their neighbours.
We cannot part with Sir W. Carden without quoting a specimen of his logic, which is
aldertnanic in the extreme :—
Me. Forster appeared before them as an 'interested individual, and when that gentleman talked of
imerference with the liberty of the subject, he (Sir W. Carden) would ask, did the Legislature interfere with
the liberty of the subject when they passed an act for the suppression of betting-houses? ”
As if gambling in any degree were not wrong, and drinking beer in moderation were not
right. The Mr. Eorster alluded to was a publican ; he and the rest of his trade had better
look out, or the Preterchristian Teefactotaliers will, some of these fine evenings, get a Maine
Law Liquor Bill, for depriving the poor man of his beer, slipped through Parliament just as
the Sabbatarian Act was last Session. Tbe serious merrymen—the grave jokers—of the
present House of Commons, are just the gentlemen to pass any bill imposing a restraint on
personal liberty—for fun, _ _
A Natural Delusion.
THE LOSS OF KEBTCH.
To Gladstone.
The Russians a reverse have bad,
And lost some territory,
Gladstone, thou canst no more be glad:
Eor glad, I ’ll call thee sorry.
So now, according to the Church
By Pusey as expounded,
Do penance for the loss of Kertch,
And Muscovites confounded.
We drove them to destroy their corn,
And made them burn their shipping;
Therefore thy pate forthwith get shorn,
And give thyself a whipping.
One hundred of their merchantmen
We have consumed with fire ;
In shirt of hair and sackcloth, then,
Thy person straight attire.
Five of their vessels full of grain
We’ve.had the luck to capture,
Wherefore from flesh thou shouldst abstain,
Whilst we are filled with rapture.
More than a hundred cannon, too,
We’ve taken ; then what hinders
That we sing cock-a-doodle-doo
And thou lament in cinders ?
One only cause I comprehend
That thee can keep from fasting,
’Tis that thou hast become a Friend,
Tractarian habits casting.
Soon, I expect, thy gift of gab.
Confused, but rather clever,
That thou wilt exercise, in drab,
Against all war whatever.
ATTACHMENT TO PLACE IN
ANIMALS.
Speaking of the Government buildings in
Downing Street, the Times quotes a Report from
the Board of Works in the terms ensuing :—
“ That the walls having been cut through to form com-
munications, are weakened; and thattbereare considerable
settlements,’ the effect of which has only been counteracted
by tbe use of iron ties, suspension rods and shoring. They
further state that the principal apartments of the Foreign
Office are unsafe, and have to be supported by shores when-
ever used for large parties; that a subsidence has taken
place in the foundation of that part of the building where
the Cabinet Councils are held, and other circumstances
equally ominous with regard to the residence of the
First Lord of the Treasury and Chancellor of the
Exchequer.”
Considering how many members of recent
Cabinets have changed their opinions in the
course of their lives, we wonder that we have
not seen more rats running away from thefallmg
houses in Downing Street.
A Genuine Diplomatist.
We can no longer give credit to our American
brethren for attaching no importance to names,
for they have selected as one of their ambas-
sadors an individual who has been cleaGy chosen
because his name represents the exact idea of
diplomacy. America can never echo the inquiry
“ What’s in a name ? ” without being liable to
be reminded that she sent to Spam as a diplo-
matist no other than General Dodge.
It is said that a noble Earl has ordered the removal of every mirror from his town and
country mansions. He has declared to his physician that he cannot glance in a looking-glass
without beholding the ugliest of Russians. His case has excited great sympathy in the peace
circle. Messrs. Bright, Cobden, Gibson, and Gladstone—especially Gladstone—leave
their cards daily. i
THE GANYMEDE OE POTSDAM.
Lord Palmerston may be justly denominated
the Judicious Bottle holder, but the title of ihe
Injudicious Bottle-holder is equally applicable to
the King oe Prussia’s butler.
Von. 28.
225
THE GO-AHEAD SAINTS.
Exeter Hall bas long been
celebrated as a sort ol uni-
versal meeting-house; a con-
venticle in common for Pro-
testants of all denominations.
Its walls have often shaken
with denunciations of Popery,
on account of the superad-
ditions which Popery has
made to primitive truth. The
other evening those walls
vibrated to the eloquence of
what would seem to be a new
sect, bearing a very consider-
able resemblance to Popery
in that very particular for
which Popery has so fre-i
quently been objected to in
Exeter Hall. The creed of i
these sectaries is an American
import. It is not, however,
Mormonism, though advo-
cated on the same ground
as that on which the Latter-
Day Saints defend the reli-
gion of Joe Smith. The
chief argument advanced in
its behalf is, that it has
worked well in America. So,
infancy, although some of its
disciples appear to be in their dotage. So young is it, that it has not hitherto received a name,
; We have proposed one for its adherents. “ The Go-ahead Saints,” like the Saints just
mentioned, resemble the Mahometans: not however in what they allow, but in what they
deny. Going ahead of all churches (except the Turkish) they have formed themselves into
a ‘' United Kingdom Alliance,” not merely for the propagation, but absolutely for the
imposition of their doctrine. They hold that the sale of alcoholic liquors is unlawful morally,
and ought therefore to be prohibited by statute law. This tenet they found of course on a
prior axiom, which condemns the use of such liquors. The common religion of the Bishops
and Clergy, Homan Catholic and Protestant, and of the Nonconformists also, only condemns
their abuse. These PreterChristians—as we may also designate them—denounce as evil the
sale of that fluid, which, at a certain nuptial festival, was supplied by a Donor, all of whose
gifts are considered by mere Christians to be good.
At the Exeter Hall Meeting of these religionists the object of their “Alliance” was
stated by Sir W. C. Trevelyan, who occupied the chair, to be the “total and immediate
legislative suppression of the traffic in all intoxicating beverages,” that is of all drinks that.
■will cause drunkenness, if taken in excess. They want, therefore, to enforce their system of'
Preterchristianity by penalties, that is by persecution; and here again our friends the
Preterchristians resemble our friends the Papists.
The Preterchristians, or Go-Ahead Saints, must not be confounded with the Teetotallers.
They themselves deny the identity of those people with themselves. We find Sir B. W.
Carden stating that
“ The Alliance reverenced the Teetotallers, and he believed them to be a good and a great ally to the cause; but
the Alliance and Teetotallers were two separate bodies.”
Yes. There is a very important difference between them. The Teetotaller Proper, the
Teetotaller Pure and Simple—is a person who, not being able to partake of the cordial glass
in moderation, does the next best thing by abstaining from it. Such a teetotaller did Samuel
Johnson become, and who does not “reverence the teetotallers” that are such as Samuel
Johnson? Sir Pl. W. Carden’s co-religionists appear not so much to be piactitioners
of abstinence themselves as individuals who desire to enforce its practice on others. The
Earl oe Harrington stated that their object is only to prevent the sale of alcoholic liquors.
They are quite right in repudiating the name of Teetotallers ; to describe themselves
accurately they should assume that of Tee/actotallers. They appear to affect less the self-;
denial of indulgence than the denial of indulgence to their neighbours.
We cannot part with Sir W. Carden without quoting a specimen of his logic, which is
aldertnanic in the extreme :—
Me. Forster appeared before them as an 'interested individual, and when that gentleman talked of
imerference with the liberty of the subject, he (Sir W. Carden) would ask, did the Legislature interfere with
the liberty of the subject when they passed an act for the suppression of betting-houses? ”
As if gambling in any degree were not wrong, and drinking beer in moderation were not
right. The Mr. Eorster alluded to was a publican ; he and the rest of his trade had better
look out, or the Preterchristian Teefactotaliers will, some of these fine evenings, get a Maine
Law Liquor Bill, for depriving the poor man of his beer, slipped through Parliament just as
the Sabbatarian Act was last Session. Tbe serious merrymen—the grave jokers—of the
present House of Commons, are just the gentlemen to pass any bill imposing a restraint on
personal liberty—for fun, _ _
A Natural Delusion.
THE LOSS OF KEBTCH.
To Gladstone.
The Russians a reverse have bad,
And lost some territory,
Gladstone, thou canst no more be glad:
Eor glad, I ’ll call thee sorry.
So now, according to the Church
By Pusey as expounded,
Do penance for the loss of Kertch,
And Muscovites confounded.
We drove them to destroy their corn,
And made them burn their shipping;
Therefore thy pate forthwith get shorn,
And give thyself a whipping.
One hundred of their merchantmen
We have consumed with fire ;
In shirt of hair and sackcloth, then,
Thy person straight attire.
Five of their vessels full of grain
We’ve.had the luck to capture,
Wherefore from flesh thou shouldst abstain,
Whilst we are filled with rapture.
More than a hundred cannon, too,
We’ve taken ; then what hinders
That we sing cock-a-doodle-doo
And thou lament in cinders ?
One only cause I comprehend
That thee can keep from fasting,
’Tis that thou hast become a Friend,
Tractarian habits casting.
Soon, I expect, thy gift of gab.
Confused, but rather clever,
That thou wilt exercise, in drab,
Against all war whatever.
ATTACHMENT TO PLACE IN
ANIMALS.
Speaking of the Government buildings in
Downing Street, the Times quotes a Report from
the Board of Works in the terms ensuing :—
“ That the walls having been cut through to form com-
munications, are weakened; and thattbereare considerable
settlements,’ the effect of which has only been counteracted
by tbe use of iron ties, suspension rods and shoring. They
further state that the principal apartments of the Foreign
Office are unsafe, and have to be supported by shores when-
ever used for large parties; that a subsidence has taken
place in the foundation of that part of the building where
the Cabinet Councils are held, and other circumstances
equally ominous with regard to the residence of the
First Lord of the Treasury and Chancellor of the
Exchequer.”
Considering how many members of recent
Cabinets have changed their opinions in the
course of their lives, we wonder that we have
not seen more rats running away from thefallmg
houses in Downing Street.
A Genuine Diplomatist.
We can no longer give credit to our American
brethren for attaching no importance to names,
for they have selected as one of their ambas-
sadors an individual who has been cleaGy chosen
because his name represents the exact idea of
diplomacy. America can never echo the inquiry
“ What’s in a name ? ” without being liable to
be reminded that she sent to Spam as a diplo-
matist no other than General Dodge.
It is said that a noble Earl has ordered the removal of every mirror from his town and
country mansions. He has declared to his physician that he cannot glance in a looking-glass
without beholding the ugliest of Russians. His case has excited great sympathy in the peace
circle. Messrs. Bright, Cobden, Gibson, and Gladstone—especially Gladstone—leave
their cards daily. i
THE GANYMEDE OE POTSDAM.
Lord Palmerston may be justly denominated
the Judicious Bottle holder, but the title of ihe
Injudicious Bottle-holder is equally applicable to
the King oe Prussia’s butler.
Von. 28.