DOI issue:
Punch's essence of parliament
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16615#0254
246
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
LARGE BUMP
CAUTION.
Flora
A unt.
FOP I
AM
Oh, let os sit here, Aunt, the Breeze is so delightful.
Yes—It’s very nice, I dare say; but I
ALWAYS AFRAID OF SLIPPING
THROUGH THOSE
won’t come any nearer to the Cliff,
R A 1 LINGSJ”
BRIGHT IDEAS.
Stick wholly to business and mind nothing
else. If you go to war you are sure to lose m< n
and spend money. The worst ihat could befal
you in consequence of not resisting Bussia would
tie subjugation under the Czar. If all the world
would submit to the Czar there would be no
fighting. There would be no armies and navies
to maintain ; and the expenses of mankind would
be almost limited to the sum required for the
maintenance of one man and his family in luxury.
The monarch could have no ambition to gratify,
as he would be master of this planet, and it
would be impossible for him to invade the moon.
The satisfaction of any other passions that he
could have would cost comparatively little.
Taxation would be moderate under the govern-
ment of a universal despot. The people at large
would not suffer much from any tyranny which
they were content to obey. They would be
deprived of very little true liberty. They would
enjoy all the liberty of the Press that is worth
having ; the liberty of printing and publishing
news.
No tyrant, whose power was unlimited, world
have any inducement to restrict manufactures
and commerce. Perfect freedom of trade would
exist; that is, perfect freedom of all desirable
action. Very few tyrants inflict upon their sub-
jects injuries wholly gratuitous. The most male-
volent despot would torture but small numbers
of an unresisting people. The sum total of
atrocities which such a sovereign could perpe-
trate would fall far short, in amount, of the
horrors of war. Individuals and families, here
and there, might be subjected to unjust exaction,
outrage, and whipping. But the majority would
escape the extortion, the dishonour, and the lash.
The maximum of income and the minimum of
taxation constitute the greatest happiness of the
greatest number, and the political summumbonum.
If this end can be obtained by representative and
constitutional government, that government is
preferable to absolute government, and not other-
wise. If it is likely to be obtained by submission
to Russia, the best thing we can do is to let
Russian encroachment take its course.
INTERESTING TO PORTUGUESE BONDHOLDERS.
These naturally-anxious individuals will be happy to know that his
young and green Majesty of Portugal is now in Paris, and so full
[ of money, that he is giving away orders in all the prodigality of youth.
He has just bestowed upon Prince Napoleon the Order of the Tower
and the Sword. This Order gives the lucky knight the privilege to wear
a silver collar (at his own cost) with the inscription—“ Yalour, Loyalty,
Merit.” The Portuguese Government—now happily represented by
Hts Majesty Pedro II.—have bestowed Orders of a very different
sort upon its English Bondholders and Creditors. They have in many
cases revived the Order of the Queen’s Bench and the Key, with the
privilege of wearing a collar of parchment, with the inscription,—
“ Gullability, Poverty, and No Credit.”
As another delightful instance of the moral heroism of the young King,
we have to state that His Majesty last week visited the French Mint,
where “he followed the operations of coining”—say the accounts—
“ with great attention.” IIow like his progenitors! “Plates of gold
were cast for his inspection, and there was shown gold ready to be
1 brown into the crucible to the amount of nearly a million.” Surely
this was very unnecessary trouble. Had the gold been placed in the
hands of His Majesty, to the credit of Portugal, it would have been
as completely melted as in any crucible soever. Bondholders have
already seen more millions of theirs melted in the national crucible of
Portugal,—nine millions subjected to “the different operations of
coining ” by the Portuguese State, and followed by Portuguese royalty
“ with great attention.” For our vulgar, common-place part, we wonder
that any King of Portugal could touch a piece of his own coin without
remorseful shuddering. There is a monkish legend, that money being
extorted by a sinful tax, a piece of the coin dropt blood in the hand of
the ruler who bad levied the impost. Could this miracle be repeated in
Portugal, bow much of its coin would weep the blood and tears of
cheated Englishmen, their widows and orphans ?
GROSYENOR EOR EVER!
Song by an Elector of Middlesex.
I’m a Middlesex Elector ; equal rights, I say for all:
Sauce for goose is sauce for gander; make one law for great and small.
That, I fancy, ’s what Lord Robert Grosvenor calls his Sunday Bill;
At the next Election won’t I vote for him ?—of course I will!
Trade to check upon a Sunday, to secure a day of rest
For the servants of the trader, is his Bill’s intent professed,
Milk and mackerel crying after nine on Sunday morn ’twill stop;
And against the hungry close the butcher’s and the baker’s shop.
Whilst this Lord regales on dainties, whilst on luxuries he dines,
Whilst he gorges on rich viands, whilst he swills delicious wines;
He deprives his poorer neighbours of their humble Sunday cheer,
Baked potatoes, shoulder of mutton, onion sauce, aud pot of beer.
He, whose Act betimes to breakfast will compel all common men,
Will he take none on a Sunday, should he lie abed till ten ?
Will he, self-denying, practise the religion of the Tub ?
Poor folks of refreshment barring, will this man frequent his Club ?
You, on others Sunday’s burden, giievous to be borne, who lay.
Do you, with your little finger, touch it not, my Lord, I pray?
From the bondage you impose on them do you yourself exempt ?
If you do, oh, how you merit indignation and contempt!
Brother Middlesex Electors, independent, though not free.
That’s your liberal Member ! shall he ever more your Member be ?
Oh by all means let us choose him us to represent again !
And he’ll soon stop every Sunday steamboat, omnibus, and train.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
LARGE BUMP
CAUTION.
Flora
A unt.
FOP I
AM
Oh, let os sit here, Aunt, the Breeze is so delightful.
Yes—It’s very nice, I dare say; but I
ALWAYS AFRAID OF SLIPPING
THROUGH THOSE
won’t come any nearer to the Cliff,
R A 1 LINGSJ”
BRIGHT IDEAS.
Stick wholly to business and mind nothing
else. If you go to war you are sure to lose m< n
and spend money. The worst ihat could befal
you in consequence of not resisting Bussia would
tie subjugation under the Czar. If all the world
would submit to the Czar there would be no
fighting. There would be no armies and navies
to maintain ; and the expenses of mankind would
be almost limited to the sum required for the
maintenance of one man and his family in luxury.
The monarch could have no ambition to gratify,
as he would be master of this planet, and it
would be impossible for him to invade the moon.
The satisfaction of any other passions that he
could have would cost comparatively little.
Taxation would be moderate under the govern-
ment of a universal despot. The people at large
would not suffer much from any tyranny which
they were content to obey. They would be
deprived of very little true liberty. They would
enjoy all the liberty of the Press that is worth
having ; the liberty of printing and publishing
news.
No tyrant, whose power was unlimited, world
have any inducement to restrict manufactures
and commerce. Perfect freedom of trade would
exist; that is, perfect freedom of all desirable
action. Very few tyrants inflict upon their sub-
jects injuries wholly gratuitous. The most male-
volent despot would torture but small numbers
of an unresisting people. The sum total of
atrocities which such a sovereign could perpe-
trate would fall far short, in amount, of the
horrors of war. Individuals and families, here
and there, might be subjected to unjust exaction,
outrage, and whipping. But the majority would
escape the extortion, the dishonour, and the lash.
The maximum of income and the minimum of
taxation constitute the greatest happiness of the
greatest number, and the political summumbonum.
If this end can be obtained by representative and
constitutional government, that government is
preferable to absolute government, and not other-
wise. If it is likely to be obtained by submission
to Russia, the best thing we can do is to let
Russian encroachment take its course.
INTERESTING TO PORTUGUESE BONDHOLDERS.
These naturally-anxious individuals will be happy to know that his
young and green Majesty of Portugal is now in Paris, and so full
[ of money, that he is giving away orders in all the prodigality of youth.
He has just bestowed upon Prince Napoleon the Order of the Tower
and the Sword. This Order gives the lucky knight the privilege to wear
a silver collar (at his own cost) with the inscription—“ Yalour, Loyalty,
Merit.” The Portuguese Government—now happily represented by
Hts Majesty Pedro II.—have bestowed Orders of a very different
sort upon its English Bondholders and Creditors. They have in many
cases revived the Order of the Queen’s Bench and the Key, with the
privilege of wearing a collar of parchment, with the inscription,—
“ Gullability, Poverty, and No Credit.”
As another delightful instance of the moral heroism of the young King,
we have to state that His Majesty last week visited the French Mint,
where “he followed the operations of coining”—say the accounts—
“ with great attention.” IIow like his progenitors! “Plates of gold
were cast for his inspection, and there was shown gold ready to be
1 brown into the crucible to the amount of nearly a million.” Surely
this was very unnecessary trouble. Had the gold been placed in the
hands of His Majesty, to the credit of Portugal, it would have been
as completely melted as in any crucible soever. Bondholders have
already seen more millions of theirs melted in the national crucible of
Portugal,—nine millions subjected to “the different operations of
coining ” by the Portuguese State, and followed by Portuguese royalty
“ with great attention.” For our vulgar, common-place part, we wonder
that any King of Portugal could touch a piece of his own coin without
remorseful shuddering. There is a monkish legend, that money being
extorted by a sinful tax, a piece of the coin dropt blood in the hand of
the ruler who bad levied the impost. Could this miracle be repeated in
Portugal, bow much of its coin would weep the blood and tears of
cheated Englishmen, their widows and orphans ?
GROSYENOR EOR EVER!
Song by an Elector of Middlesex.
I’m a Middlesex Elector ; equal rights, I say for all:
Sauce for goose is sauce for gander; make one law for great and small.
That, I fancy, ’s what Lord Robert Grosvenor calls his Sunday Bill;
At the next Election won’t I vote for him ?—of course I will!
Trade to check upon a Sunday, to secure a day of rest
For the servants of the trader, is his Bill’s intent professed,
Milk and mackerel crying after nine on Sunday morn ’twill stop;
And against the hungry close the butcher’s and the baker’s shop.
Whilst this Lord regales on dainties, whilst on luxuries he dines,
Whilst he gorges on rich viands, whilst he swills delicious wines;
He deprives his poorer neighbours of their humble Sunday cheer,
Baked potatoes, shoulder of mutton, onion sauce, aud pot of beer.
He, whose Act betimes to breakfast will compel all common men,
Will he take none on a Sunday, should he lie abed till ten ?
Will he, self-denying, practise the religion of the Tub ?
Poor folks of refreshment barring, will this man frequent his Club ?
You, on others Sunday’s burden, giievous to be borne, who lay.
Do you, with your little finger, touch it not, my Lord, I pray?
From the bondage you impose on them do you yourself exempt ?
If you do, oh, how you merit indignation and contempt!
Brother Middlesex Electors, independent, though not free.
That’s your liberal Member ! shall he ever more your Member be ?
Oh by all means let us choose him us to represent again !
And he’ll soon stop every Sunday steamboat, omnibus, and train.