Punch (41.1861)

4

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[July 6, 1861.

CRUEL!

Young Swell (log.). “I say, Thompson, do you think I shall ever have any Whiskers?’-

Thompson (after careful exammatim). “Well, Sir, I really don’t think as you ever will—leastways not to speak of!"
Young Swell. “That’s rather hard, for my Pap—I mean Governor—has plenty 1 ”

Thompson (facetiously). “ Yes, Sir,—but p’raps you take after your MA ! ” [Total collapse of Y. S.

DAUGHTERS TO SELL.

Song bjj a ILatijj of jFasfjion.

Daughters to sell! Daughters to sell!

They cost more money than I can tell;

Their education has been first-rate;

What wealthy young nobleman wants a mate P
They sing like nightingales, play as well:

Daughters to sell! Daughters to sell!

Here’s my fine daughters, my daughters, oh!
German, Italian, and Trench, they know,

Dance like Sylpmdes for grace and ease;

Choose out your partner, whichever you please.
Here’s a nice wire for a rich young swell:
Daughters to sell! Daughters to sell!

Beautiful daughters, dark and fair !

Each a treasure to suit a millionnaire,

Or fit to pair with any duke’s heir

At St. George’s Church by Hanover Square.

Hoy ! you that in lordly mansions dwell,

Daughters to sell! Daughters to sell!

Buy my dear daughters! Who wants a bride.

That can give her a carriage, and horses to ride.
Stand an opera-box for his fancy’s queen.

And no end of acres of crinoline.

Ever new furniture, jewels, and plate.

All sorts of servants upon her to wait;

Visits to Paris, Vienna, and Rome,

In short all that she’s been brought up to at home.
Here are girls for your monev—if out you can shelL
My daughters to sell! My daughters to sell!

IN THE NAME OE CONSCIENCE, IT IS MOST
WONDERFUL!

Here is the greatest marvel we have met with in print for a very
long time:—

“ The Chancellor of the Exchequer acknowledges the receipt of bank-notes
to the amount of £80, on account of Income-Tax from ‘ Two Lawyers.’ ”

We have always been told what an insurmountable difficulty it was
to get any money out of a Lawyer, but here is not only one, but actually
two Lawyers, voluntarily (and that constitutes the greatest part of the
wonder!) parting with money! Of course, it wasn’t their own. The
fact, however, is so far pleasing (if anything can be pleasing in con-
nection with the law or lawyers), as it now satisfactorily settles beyond
all cavil, the long-disputed point of “ Whether a lawyer has a conscience
or not ? ” We are only afraid that these “ Two Lawyers ” (who have
only just escaped immortality, the rogues, by not publishing their
names) must have been terribly uneasy in their consciences to have
parted with so large a sum of money as £80! They must have had
many sleepless nights before they came to the resolution of parting
with it! What hideous crime, or crimes, have they jointly committed?

Cockney Conundrum.

What’s the difference between the late Sultan, Abdul Medjid,
and his successor ? .

Abdul Medjid is Abdul as was, but the present Sultan is Abdul
Aziz.

I OST ON THE STOCK EXCHANGE, £10,000.—Whoever will j

J--J bring only one-tenth, of it to the loser, is perfectly welcome to keep the i
remainder. Apply to C. D., Whitecross Street, at any Lime most convenient to the
finder.—N.B. No further reward will be offered.