Punch (41.1861)

42

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Jdlt 27, 1861.

A HINT TO ARCHITECTS OF THE PRESENT DAY.

! PROTESTANT SPOONER ON PAINTING

Mr. Spooner has earned considerable reputation aa
a zealous Protestant, but the other night, in Committee
of Supply, he exceeded himself, and Mr. Newdegate
too, in that capacity. Or rather he came out in quite
a new Protestant character. He protested against the
vote of £2,000 for the National Portrait Gallery, on the
ground that too much money was spent upon pictures
and the promotion of art, and that the trustees of the
Portrait Gallery did not care what was the moral cha-
I racter of the persons whose portraits they admitted.
He likewise urged that they cared not how bad a pic-
ture was “ so long as it was a portrait of somebody noto-
rious in our history.” This objection is a strange one to
proceed from the mouth of a gentleman, who, on moving
that the vote in question be disallowed, is represented as
having said that—

“He did not propose to divide the Committee on the motion,
but only to protest against the continuance of such tom-foolery.”

What Mr. Spooner calls tom-foolery is the national
expenditure of money upon pictures and the promotion
of art. His estimate of the value of art appears to be
incompatible with the ability to distinguish a good pic-
ture from a bad one. The good moral character of a
person is considered by Mr. Spooner as a necessary
condition for the admittance of his likeness into a
portrait gallery. Esteeming right morality to be based
upon true religion, Mr. Spooner would perhaps limit
the exhibition of historical portraits to those of sound
protestant personages. Heretofore, protestants have
been content with protesting against pictures regarded
as objects of worship, but Mr. Spooner goes farther,
and protests against them as objects of acquisition at
the cost of a little money. This extremely ultra-pro-
testantism, is very like the doctrine of Islam, which
prohibits pictorial likenesses altogether. The religion
of Spooner ^ is very like that of Mahomet, and it is
much to be feared that, as to his opinions about art at
least, the honourable gentleman has turned Turk.

Yankee-Liners and Penny-a-Liners.

We receive such extraordinary bombastic statements
from America, respecting the Civil War, that we think
a new line of steamers ought to be specially appointed
to bring them over. Instead of Cttnard’s, why not
establish for the occasion a fast-going line of Canards ?

THE GORILLAS OF THE PRESS.

We wonder how many of the readers of the Croydon Chro?iicle felt
that tingling in their toes which unfailingly betokens a propensity to
lack, when they came across the following impertinent remarks which
a short time since appeared in that influential paper:—

“ 11 is said that Prince Alfrrd will travel through Canada by the same route his
brother travelled last year. But that Prince Alfred is a ‘jolly good fellow,’ not at
all of an envious disposition, how bitterly would he feel the difference of reception
over the same course. But, if my information be correct, Prince Alfred is not the
lad to grizzle and fret his fiddle-strings with envy and chagrin. Rather is he the
lad to ‘ give his governor the slip,’ as he would express it, and enjoy himself.”

Of course we need not say that these are the opinions of “ our
London Correspondent.” No other newswriter would pretend to such
an intimate acquaintance with Prince Alfred as to describe his tastes
and feelings with this familiar freedom. Other penmen, let us hope, if
they possessed such knowledge, would keep it to themselves, and would
know better than to blurt it into public print. At any rate, supposing
that the sentiments of Royalty were thought fit to be divulged, the
disclosure would be made without offensive flippancy, and such assumed
familiarity as can but breed contempt.

Having shown his intimate acquaintance with Prince Alfred by
chronicling a sample of the slang he talks, the writer next proceeds to
dab his pen into the Prince of Wales, doing it of course in the
offhand jaunty manner peculiar to his craft:—

“ By the way, his elder brother, heir to the most brilliant throne of ancient or
modern times, also requires a little looking after. Not that he is one whit worse
than most young gentlemen of his age—nay, he is more steady; but you know a
Prince ought to be so extremely proper, and so excruciatingly correct. He ought
not to smoke cigars, but he does ; nay, infinitely worse than this, he ought not to
give the slightest encouragement to the vain aspirations of any young lady subject.
But—T will not say that he does, but once upon a time, a little bird tells me
Le did ”

Here the writer tells a story—that is to say, a lie—about what he
calls a “ grand Terpsichorean festival,” whereat the Prince was smitten
with a “beautiful young lady,” who was afterwards discovered to have
written him a note. And it is with stupid and offensive lies like this
certain “ London Correspondents ” fill their weekly sheets. Really, as a
loyal subject one feels inclined to ask. is there no protection from these
literary Gorillas who, when hard up for club scandal, make attack upon
our Princes, and scarcely hold their hands from an attack upon the
throne. To put it in the mildest way, the fellows who poke their noses
into places where they have no business deserve to have them tweaked.

Un Nom de Guerre?

Prince Napoleon is one of the distinguished members of the
Bonaparte family. But if lie is a Bonaparte, might we not respect-
fully inquire : “ A Quoi Bon ?” Prom his constant habits of travelling,
and of always discreetly getting out of the way, when there was any
danger, we think we might venture to say that he was only Bon-d-
partir !

LIGHT, CHEERFUL, COMPLIMENTARY, AND LITERARY!

At the review of the Curragh the other day, there were a large
number of Irish beauties present, which interesting fact led H. R. H.
to exclaim, with that happiness and gallantry for which his family has
long been distinguished, that he was delighted to find the race of
Ctjrrer Belle (s) was far from extinct!

Merely a Geographical Mistake.—Evidently, Mr. Cowper
mistakes Kensington Gardens for Yorkshire,—he is so very anxious to
divide it into two Ridinas.