DOI Heft:
August 24, 1861
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16868#0085
August 24, 1861.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE RIGHTS OF LABOUR.
Aunt. “ Willy, my Dear Child, you must he fatigued with Digging your Garden, I'm sure. What would you like to do now ?
Willy. “ Oh, Aunt, please, I should like to have so-me Beer ! ”
THE CRICKETERS LOSS AND GAIN.
To Mu. Alderman Gutch.
My dear Alderman,
The following paragraph appeared in the Post on Tuesday
last week:—
“ The Weather.—Yesterday the thermometer registered in the streets of the
Metropolis 110° Fahr. in the sun, or 35° Reaumur, or from 95° to 97° Fahr. in
the shade, a heat almost unprecedented in this country; whilst at the Royal
Humane Society’s receiving-house, Hyde Park, and other similarly exposed situa-
tions, the instrument at noonday recorded 119° Fahr. ’
In the same paper. Sir, on the same day, was published a report of a
cricket-match between the “ Fourteen of Kent and All England ” which
had come off on the day before at Canterbury. It began with the
remark that “This day was everything favourable for cricket, the sun
shining brilliantly,” which was followed by a description of the play
that took place under that same brilliant sun. According to this
astonishing narrative, after some hours of violent exercise:—
“ The batmen now made runs quickly, and they remained in till the dinner-bell
rang, when Goodhew had marked 35, and Mr. Kelson 21. The ground, which was
rather thinly attended at first, now became thronged. After the repast Mr. Kel-
son and Goodhew resumed the batting, Hayward and Grundy bowling.”
What did Mrs. Grundy say ? What does your worship say to the idea
of not only playing at cricket at a temperature of nineteen degrees above
blood-heat, put also of going and sitting down to dinner, eating and
drinking with a cricketer’s appetite, ana then getting up again and
playing on a full stomach; a stomach so full as such an appetite must
{ have rendered it ? Surely, Sir, one would think that apoplexy must be
a chimera, and coup-de-soleil in fact mere moonshine. Bless your soul,
| Sir ! fancy yourself, in the glare of a sun almost hot enough to broil a
! st«ftk, running backwards and forwards and jolting up the contents of
: an interior distended with fluids and solids, ingested under compulsion
j of ravenous hunger and raging thirst. The bare imagination of such
j unseasonable exercise must affect you with vertigo. Your brain,
| doubtless, reels to think of it.
The great evaporation which, during a game of cricket at 119°
Eahr., must go on from the skin, no doubt considerably relieves
the player from sensations both of heat and fulness. But whereas
cricketers perspire so copiously as they do, how can it be that they are
so fat as they generally are ? That their _obesity is a Amt is demon-
strated by most of the photographs of their chief celebrities _ which are
exhibited in the shop windows. Tf you want to fatten a pig you not
only stuff him, but keep him still. Your own corpulence is likewise
owing as well to sedentary habits as to excessive alimentation. _ But
the cricketer violates one of the conditions of which the combination is
generally requisite to constitute an abdominal convexity. He takes
tremendous exercise attended with immense depletion. The only sup-
position by which his bulk can be accounted for is, that much of
substance as he loses, still more does he take in. Then how much that
must be! If you and your brethren would forswear bodily inaction,
and addict yourselves to cricket, you would probably consume even
more than you do, and the customary 250 tureens of real turtle would
not perhaps half suffice for the dinner on Lord Mayor’s Day. Would
it not, then, be advisable to establish a Lord Mayor’s Ground to serve
as a Lord’s Ground for the City, so that the Aldermen and Common
Councilmen, and the rest of the Civic dignitaries might go and play
cricket there, thus earning an appetite the result of which will be the
still further aggrandisement of your already immense corporation ?
I have the honour to be, my dear Alderman, your worship’s ever
welcome and willing guest,
P.S. Excellent sauce as cricket seems to be, it has the great advan-
tage of not conducing to gout like some other condiments, whilst,
considered as a stomachic, it is more efficacious, as well as more
salutary than any “Alderman’s Mixture.”
“Bounabout Paters” that are most Acceptable at this Time
of the Year.—Circular Notes.
Von. 41.
3—2
THE RIGHTS OF LABOUR.
Aunt. “ Willy, my Dear Child, you must he fatigued with Digging your Garden, I'm sure. What would you like to do now ?
Willy. “ Oh, Aunt, please, I should like to have so-me Beer ! ”
THE CRICKETERS LOSS AND GAIN.
To Mu. Alderman Gutch.
My dear Alderman,
The following paragraph appeared in the Post on Tuesday
last week:—
“ The Weather.—Yesterday the thermometer registered in the streets of the
Metropolis 110° Fahr. in the sun, or 35° Reaumur, or from 95° to 97° Fahr. in
the shade, a heat almost unprecedented in this country; whilst at the Royal
Humane Society’s receiving-house, Hyde Park, and other similarly exposed situa-
tions, the instrument at noonday recorded 119° Fahr. ’
In the same paper. Sir, on the same day, was published a report of a
cricket-match between the “ Fourteen of Kent and All England ” which
had come off on the day before at Canterbury. It began with the
remark that “This day was everything favourable for cricket, the sun
shining brilliantly,” which was followed by a description of the play
that took place under that same brilliant sun. According to this
astonishing narrative, after some hours of violent exercise:—
“ The batmen now made runs quickly, and they remained in till the dinner-bell
rang, when Goodhew had marked 35, and Mr. Kelson 21. The ground, which was
rather thinly attended at first, now became thronged. After the repast Mr. Kel-
son and Goodhew resumed the batting, Hayward and Grundy bowling.”
What did Mrs. Grundy say ? What does your worship say to the idea
of not only playing at cricket at a temperature of nineteen degrees above
blood-heat, put also of going and sitting down to dinner, eating and
drinking with a cricketer’s appetite, ana then getting up again and
playing on a full stomach; a stomach so full as such an appetite must
{ have rendered it ? Surely, Sir, one would think that apoplexy must be
a chimera, and coup-de-soleil in fact mere moonshine. Bless your soul,
| Sir ! fancy yourself, in the glare of a sun almost hot enough to broil a
! st«ftk, running backwards and forwards and jolting up the contents of
: an interior distended with fluids and solids, ingested under compulsion
j of ravenous hunger and raging thirst. The bare imagination of such
j unseasonable exercise must affect you with vertigo. Your brain,
| doubtless, reels to think of it.
The great evaporation which, during a game of cricket at 119°
Eahr., must go on from the skin, no doubt considerably relieves
the player from sensations both of heat and fulness. But whereas
cricketers perspire so copiously as they do, how can it be that they are
so fat as they generally are ? That their _obesity is a Amt is demon-
strated by most of the photographs of their chief celebrities _ which are
exhibited in the shop windows. Tf you want to fatten a pig you not
only stuff him, but keep him still. Your own corpulence is likewise
owing as well to sedentary habits as to excessive alimentation. _ But
the cricketer violates one of the conditions of which the combination is
generally requisite to constitute an abdominal convexity. He takes
tremendous exercise attended with immense depletion. The only sup-
position by which his bulk can be accounted for is, that much of
substance as he loses, still more does he take in. Then how much that
must be! If you and your brethren would forswear bodily inaction,
and addict yourselves to cricket, you would probably consume even
more than you do, and the customary 250 tureens of real turtle would
not perhaps half suffice for the dinner on Lord Mayor’s Day. Would
it not, then, be advisable to establish a Lord Mayor’s Ground to serve
as a Lord’s Ground for the City, so that the Aldermen and Common
Councilmen, and the rest of the Civic dignitaries might go and play
cricket there, thus earning an appetite the result of which will be the
still further aggrandisement of your already immense corporation ?
I have the honour to be, my dear Alderman, your worship’s ever
welcome and willing guest,
P.S. Excellent sauce as cricket seems to be, it has the great advan-
tage of not conducing to gout like some other condiments, whilst,
considered as a stomachic, it is more efficacious, as well as more
salutary than any “Alderman’s Mixture.”
“Bounabout Paters” that are most Acceptable at this Time
of the Year.—Circular Notes.
Von. 41.
3—2