DOI issue:
August 31, 1861
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16868#0096
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 31, lsei. j
Gentleman. “ What’s the fare, Cabman ? ”
Gabby. “ Vy, Sir, the fare’s Two Boh ; so suppose we say Ealf-a-
Orown?—another Cabby wouldhave charged you Three Bob.”
DR. PUSEY ON THE TURE.
The subjoined extract from “ Sporting Intelligence ” relative to the
run for the Trial Stakes at Oxford races will edify some of our
| readers:—
“ As soon as the flag dropped, King of the Forest instantly went to the front, with
Overton lying at his girths ; Gauntlet, Commander, and Dr. Pusey side by side a few
lengths behind. As they came up to the distance the weight began to tell upon the
King, who fell back into the third place, Overton and Commander both passing him.
Opposite the stand Commander was leading, and he came through and won easily by
two lengths; half a length behind Overton came Gauntlet, the same separating
Gauntlet from King of the Forest t F)r. Pusey was last.”
It will be seen by the foregoing statement that Du. Pusey occupied
the position of the winner in a donkey race. There is something re-
markable in this fact; especially as having occurred at Oxford Races.
Many people will be surprised to learn that Dr. Pusey, on the trial as
above decided, proved to have no followers in Oxford. Dr. Pusey,
too, has always been considered as decidedly a fast goer. Yet the odds
were against Du. Pusey ; a very small party backing him, and grave
doubts being entertained whether the Doctor would run for stakes,
never having yet gone quite so far as Highflyer, ridden by Priest. He
has probably let in a few of the yokels. The Puseyites are of course
rather down in the mouth about the defeat of their favourite, who had
better be wrapped up, along with themselves, in those old horsecloths
which they have revived in most of their stables. The defeat of Dr.
Pusey at Oxford need not prevent him from running for the Derby,
when perhaps we shall see what he can do against Spurgeon.
_
The Height of a Warm Imagination.
Throwing open the windows—lying gracefully at full length on the
sofa (having previously put a plate of shrimps on the table before you)
—and listening to the gentle trickling of the watering-cart as it paces
slowly up. and down the street; with the happy combination of so many
I luxuries, it becomes as easy as lying on the beach, and throwing pebble's
J mto the sea, to fancy that one is doing the dolce far niente at the sea-side.
We beg of the reader, who has anything of a tropical imagination, to
put on only a suitable costume, aod to try it just for a couple of hours.
THE PURSUIT OE JOKING UNDER DIFFICULTIES.
| The Painters inside the house and the Paviors hammering away
violently outside ! The two senses of smell and hearing being attacked,
beyond all power of stoppage, outrageously at the same time. On our
word, it is enough to make a Bright swear!
The Greatest of the “Great Unpaid.”—The National Debt.
A SPARROW MARKET NEAR SOUTHAMPTON.
A Petition has been presented to the Prench Corps Legislatif for
the protection of sparrows and other small birds, with a view to the
benefit of agriculture, on the ground that they do infinitely more
good by destroying insects, than mischief in eating corn. On this
point there would be some difficulty of convincing the British Farmer,
and particularly, we should think, that type of him represented by the
i gentleman whose name figures in the subjoined newspaper paragraph:—
“ A Palpable Stretch of the Law.—Yesterday, before Admiral Wigston and
Mr. J. H. Forbes, magistrates sitting at the Southampton County Bench, George
Garratt, a boy living in Houndwell, Southampton, was fined 2s. 6d., without costs, j
for stealing four ears of wheat, the property of Mr. Longman, of Hill Farm. The i
boy picked the ears of wheat in a pathway, and was caught by the prosecutor, and
given into custody, remaining so for forty-eight hours, the prosecutor insisting on
pressing the charge.”
A gentleman capable of causing a boy to be imprisoned for forty-eight
hours for stealing four ears of wheat picked up in a pathway, ana after-
wards of pressing such a charge of theft against the juvenileprisoner,
must be much fonder of Ms wheat than be is of bis species. He would,
therefore, naturally be disposed to show no mercy to the feathered
tribes, which certainly do consume a considerable quantity of wheat,
even if they exterminate a more considerable quantity of insects. Their
estimated destruction of insects would be quite overlooked by a gentle-
man infuriated by the visible consumption of Ms wheat. The boys in
the neighbourhood of Hill Farm, instead of stealing Mr. Longman’s
wheat, and getting imprisoned and fined for picking a few ears of it,
might make a good thing out of that gentleman’s ammosity against
depredators on Ms cereal produce. They should devote themselves to
killing sparrows, save all the heads of as many sparrows as they can
catch, and take them to Mr. Longman. Of course Mr. Longman
will give more than half-a-crown for the head of every sparrow, because
the bird will have stolen very much more than the four ears of corn
which were picked by Master George Garratt.
STINGO FOR SUMMER.
We have been enjoying some delightful summer weather, and the
thirst it has induced nas by no means been unpleasant, at any rate to
men who have a fondness for cool drinks, and have been careful not to
heat themselves by taking too much stimulant. Just the sort of mild
and harmless beverage to revel in is the beer whereof a sample, being
chemically tested, is discovered to contain
Alcohol.5'000
Extractive.3'885
Acetic acid .... '030
Water.91'085
100-000
This stingo is pronounced by a competent examiner (whose report
has lately reached ns, in common, doubtless, with a number of the beer-
bibbing community) to be “ the richest in alcohol for its price ” that
he has tested: and be adds he feels “ persuaded that it is a genuine
article.” We are happy to append to this chemical certificate our
belief that such a beer must be most thoroughly innocuous, provided that
the aqua it contains be really pura, of which, seeing that it is by far
the principal component, we think there should be given some. satis-
fying proof. Grog made in the proportion of five parts of spirit to
ninety-one of water, would not barm the . tenderest infant, if the water
were but proved to be a “ genuine article; ” but if the water were
impure, we question very much if that amount of alcohol would be suf-
ficiently an antidote to what the water might contain. Were we at all
concerned in the sale of the strong, beer to .which we have drawn
notice, we should lose no time in issuing a medical certificate, attesting
to the aqueous purity of the drink; for however great his love for unin-
toxicating beverages, surely nobody would like to drink a pailful of
Thames water with but a teaspoonful of spirit to avert the chance of
illness.
Truly Catholic.
At Boulogne, at present, the Priests are incessantly offering up
prayers “ for the Conversion of the English Sovereign.” Her Majesty
will not object to her Protestant subjects being very “agreeable” tc
such conversion, while the exchange is, as now, 25 francs, 30 centimes.
latest news from the sea-side.
Ramsgate this year is so overflowingly crowded, that on Friday last
the following inscription was written in large letters on a board, and
posted up on the beach in front of the bathing-machines :—“ Sea Full
—not even Standing-room eor a Baby !!! ”
Gentleman. “ What’s the fare, Cabman ? ”
Gabby. “ Vy, Sir, the fare’s Two Boh ; so suppose we say Ealf-a-
Orown?—another Cabby wouldhave charged you Three Bob.”
DR. PUSEY ON THE TURE.
The subjoined extract from “ Sporting Intelligence ” relative to the
run for the Trial Stakes at Oxford races will edify some of our
| readers:—
“ As soon as the flag dropped, King of the Forest instantly went to the front, with
Overton lying at his girths ; Gauntlet, Commander, and Dr. Pusey side by side a few
lengths behind. As they came up to the distance the weight began to tell upon the
King, who fell back into the third place, Overton and Commander both passing him.
Opposite the stand Commander was leading, and he came through and won easily by
two lengths; half a length behind Overton came Gauntlet, the same separating
Gauntlet from King of the Forest t F)r. Pusey was last.”
It will be seen by the foregoing statement that Du. Pusey occupied
the position of the winner in a donkey race. There is something re-
markable in this fact; especially as having occurred at Oxford Races.
Many people will be surprised to learn that Dr. Pusey, on the trial as
above decided, proved to have no followers in Oxford. Dr. Pusey,
too, has always been considered as decidedly a fast goer. Yet the odds
were against Du. Pusey ; a very small party backing him, and grave
doubts being entertained whether the Doctor would run for stakes,
never having yet gone quite so far as Highflyer, ridden by Priest. He
has probably let in a few of the yokels. The Puseyites are of course
rather down in the mouth about the defeat of their favourite, who had
better be wrapped up, along with themselves, in those old horsecloths
which they have revived in most of their stables. The defeat of Dr.
Pusey at Oxford need not prevent him from running for the Derby,
when perhaps we shall see what he can do against Spurgeon.
_
The Height of a Warm Imagination.
Throwing open the windows—lying gracefully at full length on the
sofa (having previously put a plate of shrimps on the table before you)
—and listening to the gentle trickling of the watering-cart as it paces
slowly up. and down the street; with the happy combination of so many
I luxuries, it becomes as easy as lying on the beach, and throwing pebble's
J mto the sea, to fancy that one is doing the dolce far niente at the sea-side.
We beg of the reader, who has anything of a tropical imagination, to
put on only a suitable costume, aod to try it just for a couple of hours.
THE PURSUIT OE JOKING UNDER DIFFICULTIES.
| The Painters inside the house and the Paviors hammering away
violently outside ! The two senses of smell and hearing being attacked,
beyond all power of stoppage, outrageously at the same time. On our
word, it is enough to make a Bright swear!
The Greatest of the “Great Unpaid.”—The National Debt.
A SPARROW MARKET NEAR SOUTHAMPTON.
A Petition has been presented to the Prench Corps Legislatif for
the protection of sparrows and other small birds, with a view to the
benefit of agriculture, on the ground that they do infinitely more
good by destroying insects, than mischief in eating corn. On this
point there would be some difficulty of convincing the British Farmer,
and particularly, we should think, that type of him represented by the
i gentleman whose name figures in the subjoined newspaper paragraph:—
“ A Palpable Stretch of the Law.—Yesterday, before Admiral Wigston and
Mr. J. H. Forbes, magistrates sitting at the Southampton County Bench, George
Garratt, a boy living in Houndwell, Southampton, was fined 2s. 6d., without costs, j
for stealing four ears of wheat, the property of Mr. Longman, of Hill Farm. The i
boy picked the ears of wheat in a pathway, and was caught by the prosecutor, and
given into custody, remaining so for forty-eight hours, the prosecutor insisting on
pressing the charge.”
A gentleman capable of causing a boy to be imprisoned for forty-eight
hours for stealing four ears of wheat picked up in a pathway, ana after-
wards of pressing such a charge of theft against the juvenileprisoner,
must be much fonder of Ms wheat than be is of bis species. He would,
therefore, naturally be disposed to show no mercy to the feathered
tribes, which certainly do consume a considerable quantity of wheat,
even if they exterminate a more considerable quantity of insects. Their
estimated destruction of insects would be quite overlooked by a gentle-
man infuriated by the visible consumption of Ms wheat. The boys in
the neighbourhood of Hill Farm, instead of stealing Mr. Longman’s
wheat, and getting imprisoned and fined for picking a few ears of it,
might make a good thing out of that gentleman’s ammosity against
depredators on Ms cereal produce. They should devote themselves to
killing sparrows, save all the heads of as many sparrows as they can
catch, and take them to Mr. Longman. Of course Mr. Longman
will give more than half-a-crown for the head of every sparrow, because
the bird will have stolen very much more than the four ears of corn
which were picked by Master George Garratt.
STINGO FOR SUMMER.
We have been enjoying some delightful summer weather, and the
thirst it has induced nas by no means been unpleasant, at any rate to
men who have a fondness for cool drinks, and have been careful not to
heat themselves by taking too much stimulant. Just the sort of mild
and harmless beverage to revel in is the beer whereof a sample, being
chemically tested, is discovered to contain
Alcohol.5'000
Extractive.3'885
Acetic acid .... '030
Water.91'085
100-000
This stingo is pronounced by a competent examiner (whose report
has lately reached ns, in common, doubtless, with a number of the beer-
bibbing community) to be “ the richest in alcohol for its price ” that
he has tested: and be adds he feels “ persuaded that it is a genuine
article.” We are happy to append to this chemical certificate our
belief that such a beer must be most thoroughly innocuous, provided that
the aqua it contains be really pura, of which, seeing that it is by far
the principal component, we think there should be given some. satis-
fying proof. Grog made in the proportion of five parts of spirit to
ninety-one of water, would not barm the . tenderest infant, if the water
were but proved to be a “ genuine article; ” but if the water were
impure, we question very much if that amount of alcohol would be suf-
ficiently an antidote to what the water might contain. Were we at all
concerned in the sale of the strong, beer to .which we have drawn
notice, we should lose no time in issuing a medical certificate, attesting
to the aqueous purity of the drink; for however great his love for unin-
toxicating beverages, surely nobody would like to drink a pailful of
Thames water with but a teaspoonful of spirit to avert the chance of
illness.
Truly Catholic.
At Boulogne, at present, the Priests are incessantly offering up
prayers “ for the Conversion of the English Sovereign.” Her Majesty
will not object to her Protestant subjects being very “agreeable” tc
such conversion, while the exchange is, as now, 25 francs, 30 centimes.
latest news from the sea-side.
Ramsgate this year is so overflowingly crowded, that on Friday last
the following inscription was written in large letters on a board, and
posted up on the beach in front of the bathing-machines :—“ Sea Full
—not even Standing-room eor a Baby !!! ”