DOI issue:
October 19, 1861
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16868#0168
PUNCH OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 19, 1861.
RELAXATION.
Scene—Smoking Room. Country House. 2'30 a.m.
Country Friend {to Johnson, who has had a long tramp of it in the rain after wild
birds). “ Well, good night, old fellow! if you won’t have another Weed.
Remember !—Cub-hunting in the Morning, half-fast five. Don’t be late ! ”
THE GERMAN FLEET.
{To a Little Fatherland Lubber.)
And did the little German cry
I want to have a Meet ?
A Navy in his little eye?
Oil, what a grand conceit!
Well; if he ’ll promise to be good,
His wish he shall enjoy;
See here’s a ship cut out of wood:
A proper German toy.
The prettiest fleet that e’er was seen
Shall be at his command;
This is the type of that marine
That best fits Fatherland.
’Twill crown his aspirations fond,
And realise his dream •
’Twill crest the waves of every pond :
find ride each rippling stream.
But then his Fatherland’s extent
His Navy must confine,
And his ambition must be pent
Within its bounding line.
To covet Schleswig he must cease,
Holstein no more desire;
And not disturb his neighbours peace,
To play at sword and fire.
To man his ships there needs no crew
Of highly seasoned tars ;
That’s well where Neptune’s sons are few;
He wants but sons of Mars,
In Fatherland to hold his own,
And keep the foeman’s feet
From off that stream whose hanks alone
Demand a German Fleet.
False Report.
We are authorised to contradict a rumour which is
current that the piece called Mischief Making, now in play
at the Olympic, was originally written by his Holiness the
Pope, and that its title bears allusion to the part which he
is playing in the drama of Ltalian Freedom, just brought
out.
HEY FOR DISHABILLE !
“ Mr. Punch,
“ An eminent Metropolitan tailor advertises a morning
costume [For Gentlemen,’ described as ‘ a Negligee Milled Tweed
Suit, consisting of a Cape, Jacket, Yest, and Trousers, the charge being
Two Guineas.’ This, I suppose, is the sort of dress in which, worn on
the boulevards at Paris, and on other pavements in foreign parts where
dandies most do congregate, our countrymen are wont to astonish the
French and the rest of the Continental natives, and afford them harmless
amusement, to the disgust of other less independent and more sensitive
Englishmen.
“For my part, Sir, I do not by any means concur with those thin-
skinned Britons who have lately been complaining of the plain but
picturesque _ attire which generally distinguishes our tourists abroad.
In my opinion, the customary and characteristic garb of the English
traveller combines elegance with economy in the most desirable pro-
portions ; the ratio of economy considerably preponderating over that
of elegance. Comfort, durability, and cheapness are the primary recom-
mendations of clothes all over tne world. Appearance is a secondary,
or a tertiary, or a still minor consideration. Young men are now
adopting very rational habits, that is to say, habiliments. In so doing
they ought to be encouraged. When I was a young buck, or at least
the contemporary of young bucks, my associates were very commonly
accustomed to run up tailors’ bills, which their fathers had to pay. To be
sure, I never did such a thing myself, and perhaps I am rewarded for it
now, when I contemplate with satisfaction tne inexpensive rig of my own
boys, who are a credit, and not a debt, to their affectionate governor.
“There is little difference, I believe, between the domestic costume
of our young fellows and that in which they use to exhibit themselves
to grinning foreigners. Not quite so in respect to girls. Battered
hats and amorphous Crinolines are mere accidents of travel. They are
phenomena whose causation depends on laws whereof the operation is
determined by the dimensions of trunks and bandboxes. They never
appear on the other side of the Channel, any more than on this, other-
wise than altogether against the inclination of the wearers. My sons
I have no occasion to complain of on the ground of their excess of
apparel. I wish I could say as much for my daughters. I should be
very glad if they would be a little less particular about the shape of the
hats and Crinolines wherein they are wont to court public admiration
at home, and would accordingly be content to wear those, and all other
articles of clothing, about ten times longer than they do at present.
“ In conclusion, let me observe that the state of' the human skin is
of much more importance than the hue and texture of any fabric which
may invest it. Our Continental neighbours, at a hotel or a lodging-
house, as a rule, allow you about as much water for the purpose of
washing yourself as what just suffices for cleaning your teeth. This is
Christian conduct of them, no doubt. I believe they do as they would
be done by. They may ridicule the cut and the tints of a Briton’s
raiment; but how about what underlies that rough exterior, on the one
hand, and their own elegant externals, on the other ? What is the colour
of our respective skins ? Will they institute comparisons ? On whose
side will the laugh be then ? Well, perhaps on theirs still. _ They will
deride us absurd Englishmen for neglecting our dress, which is seen,
whilst we carefully wash and cleanse the surface of our bodies, which, on
the Boulevards and other fashionable places, is not seen. Never mind.
Let those laugh that win. A penny saved is a penny got; and milled
Tweed suits, at two guineas, if they will only do duty a sufficient length
of time, are the clothes for the money of “ Paterfamilias.”
A Fleet that Doesn’t Make much Way.
Landlubber. And where is this German Fleet I read so much about ?
Seafaring Cove. Off Good Hope, Sir; and there it has been sticking,
to my knowledge, Sir, for years past, and you may take my word for it,
Sir, it will never get much further than that.
[The Landlubber is perfectly contented with the bondfide-ness of
his nautical friend’s information.
RELAXATION.
Scene—Smoking Room. Country House. 2'30 a.m.
Country Friend {to Johnson, who has had a long tramp of it in the rain after wild
birds). “ Well, good night, old fellow! if you won’t have another Weed.
Remember !—Cub-hunting in the Morning, half-fast five. Don’t be late ! ”
THE GERMAN FLEET.
{To a Little Fatherland Lubber.)
And did the little German cry
I want to have a Meet ?
A Navy in his little eye?
Oil, what a grand conceit!
Well; if he ’ll promise to be good,
His wish he shall enjoy;
See here’s a ship cut out of wood:
A proper German toy.
The prettiest fleet that e’er was seen
Shall be at his command;
This is the type of that marine
That best fits Fatherland.
’Twill crown his aspirations fond,
And realise his dream •
’Twill crest the waves of every pond :
find ride each rippling stream.
But then his Fatherland’s extent
His Navy must confine,
And his ambition must be pent
Within its bounding line.
To covet Schleswig he must cease,
Holstein no more desire;
And not disturb his neighbours peace,
To play at sword and fire.
To man his ships there needs no crew
Of highly seasoned tars ;
That’s well where Neptune’s sons are few;
He wants but sons of Mars,
In Fatherland to hold his own,
And keep the foeman’s feet
From off that stream whose hanks alone
Demand a German Fleet.
False Report.
We are authorised to contradict a rumour which is
current that the piece called Mischief Making, now in play
at the Olympic, was originally written by his Holiness the
Pope, and that its title bears allusion to the part which he
is playing in the drama of Ltalian Freedom, just brought
out.
HEY FOR DISHABILLE !
“ Mr. Punch,
“ An eminent Metropolitan tailor advertises a morning
costume [For Gentlemen,’ described as ‘ a Negligee Milled Tweed
Suit, consisting of a Cape, Jacket, Yest, and Trousers, the charge being
Two Guineas.’ This, I suppose, is the sort of dress in which, worn on
the boulevards at Paris, and on other pavements in foreign parts where
dandies most do congregate, our countrymen are wont to astonish the
French and the rest of the Continental natives, and afford them harmless
amusement, to the disgust of other less independent and more sensitive
Englishmen.
“For my part, Sir, I do not by any means concur with those thin-
skinned Britons who have lately been complaining of the plain but
picturesque _ attire which generally distinguishes our tourists abroad.
In my opinion, the customary and characteristic garb of the English
traveller combines elegance with economy in the most desirable pro-
portions ; the ratio of economy considerably preponderating over that
of elegance. Comfort, durability, and cheapness are the primary recom-
mendations of clothes all over tne world. Appearance is a secondary,
or a tertiary, or a still minor consideration. Young men are now
adopting very rational habits, that is to say, habiliments. In so doing
they ought to be encouraged. When I was a young buck, or at least
the contemporary of young bucks, my associates were very commonly
accustomed to run up tailors’ bills, which their fathers had to pay. To be
sure, I never did such a thing myself, and perhaps I am rewarded for it
now, when I contemplate with satisfaction tne inexpensive rig of my own
boys, who are a credit, and not a debt, to their affectionate governor.
“There is little difference, I believe, between the domestic costume
of our young fellows and that in which they use to exhibit themselves
to grinning foreigners. Not quite so in respect to girls. Battered
hats and amorphous Crinolines are mere accidents of travel. They are
phenomena whose causation depends on laws whereof the operation is
determined by the dimensions of trunks and bandboxes. They never
appear on the other side of the Channel, any more than on this, other-
wise than altogether against the inclination of the wearers. My sons
I have no occasion to complain of on the ground of their excess of
apparel. I wish I could say as much for my daughters. I should be
very glad if they would be a little less particular about the shape of the
hats and Crinolines wherein they are wont to court public admiration
at home, and would accordingly be content to wear those, and all other
articles of clothing, about ten times longer than they do at present.
“ In conclusion, let me observe that the state of' the human skin is
of much more importance than the hue and texture of any fabric which
may invest it. Our Continental neighbours, at a hotel or a lodging-
house, as a rule, allow you about as much water for the purpose of
washing yourself as what just suffices for cleaning your teeth. This is
Christian conduct of them, no doubt. I believe they do as they would
be done by. They may ridicule the cut and the tints of a Briton’s
raiment; but how about what underlies that rough exterior, on the one
hand, and their own elegant externals, on the other ? What is the colour
of our respective skins ? Will they institute comparisons ? On whose
side will the laugh be then ? Well, perhaps on theirs still. _ They will
deride us absurd Englishmen for neglecting our dress, which is seen,
whilst we carefully wash and cleanse the surface of our bodies, which, on
the Boulevards and other fashionable places, is not seen. Never mind.
Let those laugh that win. A penny saved is a penny got; and milled
Tweed suits, at two guineas, if they will only do duty a sufficient length
of time, are the clothes for the money of “ Paterfamilias.”
A Fleet that Doesn’t Make much Way.
Landlubber. And where is this German Fleet I read so much about ?
Seafaring Cove. Off Good Hope, Sir; and there it has been sticking,
to my knowledge, Sir, for years past, and you may take my word for it,
Sir, it will never get much further than that.
[The Landlubber is perfectly contented with the bondfide-ness of
his nautical friend’s information.