DOI Heft:
November 2, 1861
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16868#0185
November 2, 1861.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
173
THE PERFECT CURE.
AS PERFORMED AT MR. SP-RG-ON’S NEW CANTERBURY HALL.
THE RIVALS IN THE ROPE-WALK.
The adjective tender is generally regarded as inapplicable to the
person and profession of the Finisher of the Law, but tender the noun
substantive, in the subjoined extract from a Glasgow newspaper, ap-
pears in connection with two gentlemen of that unpopular if useful
calling:—
“ Thk Condemned Convict Frazer.—No word has yet come from the Home
Secretary as to the fate of Frazer, the man who was convicted at the last Circuit
Court of the murder of M‘Kenney, by stabbing. In the meantime, the authorities,
we believe, have had two applications from persons anxious to carry into effect the
sentence passed on him—Wm. Calcrxft, of London, and Thomas Askern, Maltby,
Yorkshire. The former states that he will perform the duty at his usual fee of
twenty guineas, exclusive of travelling and other expenses, including first-class
railway fare ; while Askern offers to do it at about half the sum, and third-class
railway fare. Askern, besides the recommendation of cheapness, seems to be a
better educated man than Calcrast, and sends several respectable references.”
The writer of the foregoing paragraph describes Caxcraft and
Askern as “ anxious” to carry out the sentence passed on Frazer.
What was the nature of their anxiety to hang that man ? Do they
practise their profession con amove and rejoice in executing malefactors ?
are they accustomed to finish the law as it were with a will P Or is the
object of their anxiety merely the pecuniary consideration to be earned
by putting a man to death?—are they anxious for a job simply as a
pig-butcher is, with a sole view to the fee ? The fee of a hangman is a
sum which may be regarded with reasonable anxiety. It exceeds that
of a physician ; is twenty times as great by the tariff of Calcraft, the
regular practitioner. The conduct of Askern in trying to undersell
the old Jack. Ketch by offering to take half his hire, and to accept
third class railway fare, will no doubt be stigmatised, by hangmen in
general, as unprofessional and undignified. By the public, however,
the recommendation of cheapness on the part of an executioner will be
regarded as a very great one ; for the principal argument in favour of
capital punishment is that it is the cheapest way of disposing of a fellow
who is good for nothing.
In what consists the alleged superiority of Askern over Calcraft
in education ? Jack Ketch mayIbe unable to read a line, but capable
of putting one about a throat very cleverly for all that. What was the
nature ot Mr. Askern’s respectable references P Perhaps they were
testimonials of his moral and religious character, and civil and attentive
deportment, obtained from clergymen and others, and certificates of
his professional skill, from medical men. A decent well-behaved and
adroit hangman, having the recommendation of cheapness, is certainly
preferable to a brutal and clumsy one, even for the county rate-payers.
As the office of Jack Ketch is, at the lowest rate, one of consider-
able emolument, and education is now put forward as a qualification
for it, perhaps it will soon be rendered the prize of competitive exam-
ination as a department of the Civil Service.
Readers who may sympathise with the “ anxiety” of Messrs. Cal-
craet and Askern to throttle Frazer, will perhaps be sorry to learn
that those artists were cruelly disappointed by the fact that the convict
whom they desired for a victim, was provokingly reprieved.
KING COTTON’S REMONSTRANCE.
Negro Melody—“ Poor Old Ned."
Oh, I once was free as air, I could travel anywhere,
To my Manchester well welcomed I could go :
Now I’m bound by a blockade, and in prison I am laid,
Tho’ I ruin those who keep me there, I know.
Burden. Then lay down the rifle and the bow-
-ie knife. and take up the shovel and the hoe:
Cease your fratricidal war, and let King Cotton go once more
To the countries where King Cotton ought to go.
By the Navy of the North I am kept from going forth,
And to smuggle me all efforts are in vain:
While the sages of the South hope by Europe’s cotton drouth
Intervention in their favour they may gain.
Burden. Oh, lay down the rifle, &c.
To North then and to South I appeal by Bunch his mouth,
To cease fighting and to set King Cotton free;
Blood and treasure both may waste that can never be replaced,
But they ’ll ne’er be brought together, save by me.
Burden. So lay down the rifle and the bow-
-ie knife : and take up the shovel and the hoe :
Cease vour fratricidal war, and let King Cotton go once more
To the countries where King Cotton waits to go.
“THIS IS NO MINE AIN HOUSE.”
The Erench Swells have hit upon an invention in the carte de visite
line, intended to prevent imitation by the masses. The lucky possessor
or lessee of a country seat, has a view of it photographed on his cards,
and uses no inscription whatever. The portrait system has become
low, for everybody has a face, or what by a stretch of courtesy may be
called one. But few people, comparatively, have country seats. So
here is an invention for the exclusives. We shall probably see it
adopted in England. Eaton FT at.t, will call upon Castle Howard,
and Holland House leaves a card with Pembroke Lodge. The plan,
however, will necessitate the binding up a huge series of Country
Houses with one’s “ Where Is It ? ” for it will he awkward to make
mistakes, ana fancy that the photograph on your hall-table is Broad-
lands, when it is Hughenden Manor, or vice versa, when you are in
hopes of being invited to the counsels of your Sovereign by the_ party
leader, and equally awkward to go flourishing about a picture of what
used to be called Denman Priory, and showing it to your friends as
proof of a visit from Knowsley or Chatsworth. There will be no
mistakes about Mr. Bunch's cards ; first, because he never leaves any:
and secondly, because the immortal window in Eleet Street is as well
known as the front of the nouse at Stratford-upon-Avon • hut he recom-
mends to his Swell friends, if they intend to adopt the plan, a course of
careful study of what Mr. Disraeli in Bopanilla cleverly calls the
sciences of Architecture and Parkitecture.
“0 No, we Never Mention it.”
Having, probably, mislaid his almanack, and seeing nothing around
him to indicate that he was in a Christian country, the Times’ Special
Correspondent in America inadvertently went out shooting on a
Sunday. He was instantly pounced upon and fined. Had he remem-
bered the day, the indiscretion would have been almost Quixotically
gallant, for anything connected with guns on a Sunday must be so very
sore a subject in the North—since Bull’s Run.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
173
THE PERFECT CURE.
AS PERFORMED AT MR. SP-RG-ON’S NEW CANTERBURY HALL.
THE RIVALS IN THE ROPE-WALK.
The adjective tender is generally regarded as inapplicable to the
person and profession of the Finisher of the Law, but tender the noun
substantive, in the subjoined extract from a Glasgow newspaper, ap-
pears in connection with two gentlemen of that unpopular if useful
calling:—
“ Thk Condemned Convict Frazer.—No word has yet come from the Home
Secretary as to the fate of Frazer, the man who was convicted at the last Circuit
Court of the murder of M‘Kenney, by stabbing. In the meantime, the authorities,
we believe, have had two applications from persons anxious to carry into effect the
sentence passed on him—Wm. Calcrxft, of London, and Thomas Askern, Maltby,
Yorkshire. The former states that he will perform the duty at his usual fee of
twenty guineas, exclusive of travelling and other expenses, including first-class
railway fare ; while Askern offers to do it at about half the sum, and third-class
railway fare. Askern, besides the recommendation of cheapness, seems to be a
better educated man than Calcrast, and sends several respectable references.”
The writer of the foregoing paragraph describes Caxcraft and
Askern as “ anxious” to carry out the sentence passed on Frazer.
What was the nature of their anxiety to hang that man ? Do they
practise their profession con amove and rejoice in executing malefactors ?
are they accustomed to finish the law as it were with a will P Or is the
object of their anxiety merely the pecuniary consideration to be earned
by putting a man to death?—are they anxious for a job simply as a
pig-butcher is, with a sole view to the fee ? The fee of a hangman is a
sum which may be regarded with reasonable anxiety. It exceeds that
of a physician ; is twenty times as great by the tariff of Calcraft, the
regular practitioner. The conduct of Askern in trying to undersell
the old Jack. Ketch by offering to take half his hire, and to accept
third class railway fare, will no doubt be stigmatised, by hangmen in
general, as unprofessional and undignified. By the public, however,
the recommendation of cheapness on the part of an executioner will be
regarded as a very great one ; for the principal argument in favour of
capital punishment is that it is the cheapest way of disposing of a fellow
who is good for nothing.
In what consists the alleged superiority of Askern over Calcraft
in education ? Jack Ketch mayIbe unable to read a line, but capable
of putting one about a throat very cleverly for all that. What was the
nature ot Mr. Askern’s respectable references P Perhaps they were
testimonials of his moral and religious character, and civil and attentive
deportment, obtained from clergymen and others, and certificates of
his professional skill, from medical men. A decent well-behaved and
adroit hangman, having the recommendation of cheapness, is certainly
preferable to a brutal and clumsy one, even for the county rate-payers.
As the office of Jack Ketch is, at the lowest rate, one of consider-
able emolument, and education is now put forward as a qualification
for it, perhaps it will soon be rendered the prize of competitive exam-
ination as a department of the Civil Service.
Readers who may sympathise with the “ anxiety” of Messrs. Cal-
craet and Askern to throttle Frazer, will perhaps be sorry to learn
that those artists were cruelly disappointed by the fact that the convict
whom they desired for a victim, was provokingly reprieved.
KING COTTON’S REMONSTRANCE.
Negro Melody—“ Poor Old Ned."
Oh, I once was free as air, I could travel anywhere,
To my Manchester well welcomed I could go :
Now I’m bound by a blockade, and in prison I am laid,
Tho’ I ruin those who keep me there, I know.
Burden. Then lay down the rifle and the bow-
-ie knife. and take up the shovel and the hoe:
Cease your fratricidal war, and let King Cotton go once more
To the countries where King Cotton ought to go.
By the Navy of the North I am kept from going forth,
And to smuggle me all efforts are in vain:
While the sages of the South hope by Europe’s cotton drouth
Intervention in their favour they may gain.
Burden. Oh, lay down the rifle, &c.
To North then and to South I appeal by Bunch his mouth,
To cease fighting and to set King Cotton free;
Blood and treasure both may waste that can never be replaced,
But they ’ll ne’er be brought together, save by me.
Burden. So lay down the rifle and the bow-
-ie knife : and take up the shovel and the hoe :
Cease vour fratricidal war, and let King Cotton go once more
To the countries where King Cotton waits to go.
“THIS IS NO MINE AIN HOUSE.”
The Erench Swells have hit upon an invention in the carte de visite
line, intended to prevent imitation by the masses. The lucky possessor
or lessee of a country seat, has a view of it photographed on his cards,
and uses no inscription whatever. The portrait system has become
low, for everybody has a face, or what by a stretch of courtesy may be
called one. But few people, comparatively, have country seats. So
here is an invention for the exclusives. We shall probably see it
adopted in England. Eaton FT at.t, will call upon Castle Howard,
and Holland House leaves a card with Pembroke Lodge. The plan,
however, will necessitate the binding up a huge series of Country
Houses with one’s “ Where Is It ? ” for it will he awkward to make
mistakes, ana fancy that the photograph on your hall-table is Broad-
lands, when it is Hughenden Manor, or vice versa, when you are in
hopes of being invited to the counsels of your Sovereign by the_ party
leader, and equally awkward to go flourishing about a picture of what
used to be called Denman Priory, and showing it to your friends as
proof of a visit from Knowsley or Chatsworth. There will be no
mistakes about Mr. Bunch's cards ; first, because he never leaves any:
and secondly, because the immortal window in Eleet Street is as well
known as the front of the nouse at Stratford-upon-Avon • hut he recom-
mends to his Swell friends, if they intend to adopt the plan, a course of
careful study of what Mr. Disraeli in Bopanilla cleverly calls the
sciences of Architecture and Parkitecture.
“0 No, we Never Mention it.”
Having, probably, mislaid his almanack, and seeing nothing around
him to indicate that he was in a Christian country, the Times’ Special
Correspondent in America inadvertently went out shooting on a
Sunday. He was instantly pounced upon and fined. Had he remem-
bered the day, the indiscretion would have been almost Quixotically
gallant, for anything connected with guns on a Sunday must be so very
sore a subject in the North—since Bull’s Run.