DOI Heft:
December 28, 1861
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16868#0270
258
[December 28, 1861.
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CH ARTY APT.
THE TWO MESSENGERS.
COLUMBIA.
I have a message must cross the sea,
But I doubt what message it shall be:
And be it Peace, or be it War,
A fitting post I would choose therefor.
So say, you bonny birds of mine,
Around which neck shall I tie the twine P
THE EAGLE.
Round mine, round mine, my mistress sweet,
My wings are broad and my flight is fleet:
And I have a beak to rend the prev,
And talons for all my course would stay :
And I can swoop over land and sea—
Then “ War,” and your message send by me !
THE DOVE.
Round mine, 0 mistress sweet, round mine:
I’m swift as arrow, and true as line :
Nor talons sharp, nor beak have I,
But a soft sweet voice and a pleading eye;
And none will harm me, on land or sea—
Then “ Peace,” and send your message by me.
THE EAGLE.
The Lion stands in act to spring,
Her glove Britannia lifts to fling:
A haughty claim asks haught reply.
He half has conquered, who dares defy:
With the Lion the Eagle should parly hold—
Then give me the message, brief and bold.
THE DOVE.
The dugs of the Lioness suckled thee.
When first thou earnest over sea.
Better I ween than Britannia’s glove.
Is the hand of Britannia, clasped in love.
’Twixt Dove and Lion calm speech may be—
Then the message of Peace send thou by me !
UNEXPECTED BLISS.
Swell {dressing). “ Hurrah ! ! By Jove, there ’s a Button at the back os'
my Shirt ! ! ! ”
CALUMNY ON CRACK CORPS.
The feelings of every man who wishes to respect his species, and is accustomed j
to ride in London omnibuses, must often have been outraged by a certain coloured
print which is stuck up inside most of those vehicles on the part facing the door.
This picture represents two degraded beings of opposite sexes, fashionably attired,
the hair and whiskers of the man half grey, half black, and the tresses of the other
black on one side and red on the other.. Both the gent and his counter-part are
represented with a countenance in which a ridiculous ruefulness combines with a
disgusting love of approbation. The title of this work of art, printed in large type,
is “ No more Gray Hair; ” and the two snobs, male and female, whose portraits
illustrate that inscription, are supposed to have resorted to staining their hair, and
to have allowed their likenesses to be taken when that process was half done, in
order to exhibit the contrast between its results on the one side, and the state of
nature on the other. They look very much as if they had been paid to sit, and felt
rather ashamed of themselves in so doing.
What then will be the sentiments with which the elect of the British Army will
read the following, picked out of a column of other advertisements of cosmetics ?—
LAUNDERS’ GUARDS’ HAIR DYE is the cheapest and best; has no smell, and
sJ is perfectly harmless, and instantly changes red or grey hair to the most natural brown or
black. ”
The Guards’ Hair Dye! What next ? The Guards’ Kalydor, perhaps, or the
Guards’ Milk of Roses, or the Guards’ Enamel. In the meantime an officer of
the Coldstream—or Coldcream—will have to do omnibus-duty pictorially for the
wretch who now figures as the exemplification of “No more Gray Hair.” The
print which is now simply disgusting will become libellous when it exhibits an
oflicer and a gentleman disgracing himself by colouring bis hair. We know well
that our gallant Guardsmen have no notion of dying, unless either from natural
causes, or for their country, and their Punch.
A Frlar Tuck for Jonathan.—If the Yankees invade Canada, they will get
into a scrape with the Governor, Lord Monck. This Monck, we hope, will
show them that he belongs to one of the Elagellant orders by giving them a
sound whipping.
THE EAGLE.
Thou hast boasted and blustered and talked of fight,
Hast set a bold face in lieu of right:
If breath thou bate, or back thou draw,
Or instead of battle offer law,
Oh, scornful the Lion’s laugh will be—
Then the message of War send thou by me !
THE DOVE.
If thou hast boasted, boast no more:
If war thou hast challenged, repent it sore:
The devil’s wickedest whisper to man
Is, “ Let wrong end, since wrong began.”
Oh, glad the Lion’s great heart will be,
If a message of Peace thou send by me.
And still in doubt doth Columbia stand,
A bird and an answer on either hand ;
Eor War,—the Eagle with eyes a-glow;
For Peace,—the Dove, with her plumes of snow.
But Peace or War should the message be,
’Twill find them ready across the sea.
Conspicuous by its Absence.
The American organ, the Morning Star, alone of all
the London journals, appeared on the sixteenth without the
signs of respect usual when a national affliction occurs. It
was subsequently shamed into a shambling kind of apology.
But why not have told the truth: namely, that it had been
so industriously smearing the English flag, and cleaning
Mr. Seward’s dirty shoes, that it had no blacking to
spare for decorous observances ?
Railway travellers; insure yourselves
a lot of hearty laughs by buying Punch's Almanack. The best
travelling companion ever yet produced. Kills blue devils and black
care, that often sits behind the engine-driver as wen as the stage
coachman. Makes the longest journey shorthand enables one to
undergo a travel even by the Eastern Counties Railway without
losing one’s temper.
[December 28, 1861.
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CH ARTY APT.
THE TWO MESSENGERS.
COLUMBIA.
I have a message must cross the sea,
But I doubt what message it shall be:
And be it Peace, or be it War,
A fitting post I would choose therefor.
So say, you bonny birds of mine,
Around which neck shall I tie the twine P
THE EAGLE.
Round mine, round mine, my mistress sweet,
My wings are broad and my flight is fleet:
And I have a beak to rend the prev,
And talons for all my course would stay :
And I can swoop over land and sea—
Then “ War,” and your message send by me !
THE DOVE.
Round mine, 0 mistress sweet, round mine:
I’m swift as arrow, and true as line :
Nor talons sharp, nor beak have I,
But a soft sweet voice and a pleading eye;
And none will harm me, on land or sea—
Then “ Peace,” and send your message by me.
THE EAGLE.
The Lion stands in act to spring,
Her glove Britannia lifts to fling:
A haughty claim asks haught reply.
He half has conquered, who dares defy:
With the Lion the Eagle should parly hold—
Then give me the message, brief and bold.
THE DOVE.
The dugs of the Lioness suckled thee.
When first thou earnest over sea.
Better I ween than Britannia’s glove.
Is the hand of Britannia, clasped in love.
’Twixt Dove and Lion calm speech may be—
Then the message of Peace send thou by me !
UNEXPECTED BLISS.
Swell {dressing). “ Hurrah ! ! By Jove, there ’s a Button at the back os'
my Shirt ! ! ! ”
CALUMNY ON CRACK CORPS.
The feelings of every man who wishes to respect his species, and is accustomed j
to ride in London omnibuses, must often have been outraged by a certain coloured
print which is stuck up inside most of those vehicles on the part facing the door.
This picture represents two degraded beings of opposite sexes, fashionably attired,
the hair and whiskers of the man half grey, half black, and the tresses of the other
black on one side and red on the other.. Both the gent and his counter-part are
represented with a countenance in which a ridiculous ruefulness combines with a
disgusting love of approbation. The title of this work of art, printed in large type,
is “ No more Gray Hair; ” and the two snobs, male and female, whose portraits
illustrate that inscription, are supposed to have resorted to staining their hair, and
to have allowed their likenesses to be taken when that process was half done, in
order to exhibit the contrast between its results on the one side, and the state of
nature on the other. They look very much as if they had been paid to sit, and felt
rather ashamed of themselves in so doing.
What then will be the sentiments with which the elect of the British Army will
read the following, picked out of a column of other advertisements of cosmetics ?—
LAUNDERS’ GUARDS’ HAIR DYE is the cheapest and best; has no smell, and
sJ is perfectly harmless, and instantly changes red or grey hair to the most natural brown or
black. ”
The Guards’ Hair Dye! What next ? The Guards’ Kalydor, perhaps, or the
Guards’ Milk of Roses, or the Guards’ Enamel. In the meantime an officer of
the Coldstream—or Coldcream—will have to do omnibus-duty pictorially for the
wretch who now figures as the exemplification of “No more Gray Hair.” The
print which is now simply disgusting will become libellous when it exhibits an
oflicer and a gentleman disgracing himself by colouring bis hair. We know well
that our gallant Guardsmen have no notion of dying, unless either from natural
causes, or for their country, and their Punch.
A Frlar Tuck for Jonathan.—If the Yankees invade Canada, they will get
into a scrape with the Governor, Lord Monck. This Monck, we hope, will
show them that he belongs to one of the Elagellant orders by giving them a
sound whipping.
THE EAGLE.
Thou hast boasted and blustered and talked of fight,
Hast set a bold face in lieu of right:
If breath thou bate, or back thou draw,
Or instead of battle offer law,
Oh, scornful the Lion’s laugh will be—
Then the message of War send thou by me !
THE DOVE.
If thou hast boasted, boast no more:
If war thou hast challenged, repent it sore:
The devil’s wickedest whisper to man
Is, “ Let wrong end, since wrong began.”
Oh, glad the Lion’s great heart will be,
If a message of Peace thou send by me.
And still in doubt doth Columbia stand,
A bird and an answer on either hand ;
Eor War,—the Eagle with eyes a-glow;
For Peace,—the Dove, with her plumes of snow.
But Peace or War should the message be,
’Twill find them ready across the sea.
Conspicuous by its Absence.
The American organ, the Morning Star, alone of all
the London journals, appeared on the sixteenth without the
signs of respect usual when a national affliction occurs. It
was subsequently shamed into a shambling kind of apology.
But why not have told the truth: namely, that it had been
so industriously smearing the English flag, and cleaning
Mr. Seward’s dirty shoes, that it had no blacking to
spare for decorous observances ?
Railway travellers; insure yourselves
a lot of hearty laughs by buying Punch's Almanack. The best
travelling companion ever yet produced. Kills blue devils and black
care, that often sits behind the engine-driver as wen as the stage
coachman. Makes the longest journey shorthand enables one to
undergo a travel even by the Eastern Counties Railway without
losing one’s temper.