Punch (61.1871)

2

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

[July 6, 1871.

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

^ a onday, June 26th. Earl de Grey and Ripon

(George Frederick Samuel ; yes, Samuel
Robinson, born 1827 ; motto, Qualis ah
Incepto) takes a new title, which is, in a

sense, "the same as
i from the beginning,"

| inasmuch as he be-

- comes the Marquis

Jl^hf_=— vwell, Marquess, if

p?y ^p==§5 vou like) or Ripon.

p> ' "ja'- ~=- as a valuable

' jjj. 5?:-— -: -- public servant, has

kk. & -earned any honour he

|3£ 3g=s§§|= nLay desire; bul the
I ^rf ^==^=^~~- Marquisate, which we

isf|k- |g- ,^H-?—r^3^ '' Marquessate," ' has

r ;::~^=si^^~ been conferred in ae-

|" ^jji^i^p^^ knowledgment of his

i5- w, '^—H- si L'vices anent the

L iPllifn American Treaty.

f.i^K j^tjT ?*[ To-nigh1 he took the

Ii 3£ f~3^ oaths, and subscribed

'j^jj'^^S^g f^- the Golden Roll with

fa jilS $ ^' fy^ yg^E bis new title. Long

it fills Vssfc*/ ,nay ne enJ°y ^ ■ He

3 wriS /Z3 dSE/fi^^^ *s a ?00^ debater, so

H {—^f^^flm^^ We quote j ami's

iLgpfftlp^—" Hogg, Ettrick Shep-

^S^t^£^y/^1 iffiliW/^'^'lf'^'ili^'^fej^^^^ / herd, for the benefit

^^SHM I/IlllllTOiW'l^y^ of hls Lordship's ad-

/ / / ^BBMMI.......^f^^^^T \. <j>- versaries:—

/ / / I \ \\\W V^i> " Let them beware the

/ / //// \\\\\ Ripon brand."

/ / I \ That's funny! By

St. Andrew, that's

funny. Scarcely had we writ " brand " when we came to the next Parliamentary item.
Mr. Macfle brought up the subject of the Herring Brand. Eh, Sirs, but that's just a
coincidence. We and the Dutch are to agree, if we can, about abolishing the last
mentioned brand. We don't see why, as brandered herrings are uncommonly good. But
from a Marquess to a herring—that's just awful familiar, Man.

The Commons had a Ballot night. Mr. Henry James made a high-class speech—
possibly as good a one as could be made—in favour of the Ballot; but he admitted
that the day of its passing would be one of humiliation to this country. Mr. Hardy
denounced it as a measure intended for the benefit of the Mean, the Cowardly, the Bis-
honest. The Marquis of Hartington defended it, contending that humble and
dependent Voters needed protection. There was more debate, but as nobody can invent
any other arguments than are comprised in the above condensation, Mr. Punch will
merely state that there was adjournment, with understanding between the Chiefs that
another night was to see the business out. Memorandum. This compact was kept,
although lots of Members wanted to speak. Moral. The leaders can bring things to
an end when they like. Second Moral. We are very near the end of the Session, and
very little work has been done.

Mr. Punch apprises all Thirsty Souls that the Bill for further limiting the hours of
refreshment on Sunday was ejected by 69 to 51. " Not as deep as a well, nor as wide as
a church-door, but 'twill serve," that stab at an oppressive proposal.

Tuesday. The Duke of Richmond said, " and wisely was it said," that if the Govern-
ment will not send Bills up to the Lords in good time, it will be the Government's fault
if——and so on. We have heard the remark before. But this Session it hath a meaning
which may point itself out presently. Many of the Lords are Soldiers. Enough.

In the Commons we had immense fun. Perhaps Mr. Ayrton did not think so, but then
he is only one, and but for seeming slightly rude, we should add that we rejoice in his
uniqueness. Mr. Beresford Hope did certainly, in the Civil Estimates discussion, esti-
mate Mr. Ayrton's civilities to Mr. Barry at an exceeding low figure. And when we
came to the question of the Crypt, and Mr. Ayrton, sitting in a House called but the other
day St. Stephen's Chapel, and under the shadow of St. Peter's, and within hearing of St.
Margaret's bells, proclaimed his belief that with the Reformation the names of Saints
were withdrawn from public buildings, we did laugh. Nor was our mirth abated by
Mr. Ayrton's thinking that because coals had been placed in the Crypt it was a mere
coal-cellar. _ Speaking seriously, Mr. Ayrton tried to outrage the feelings of those for
whom architectural art has a meaning; but then what is the use of speaking seriously
about our Vandal-iEdile ? We voted much money, including £20,500 for the National
Gallery, and £42,547 for Science and Art buildings—need we say where ?—and then we
were Counted Out.

Wednesday. Mr. Whalley gave notice that he should oppose a Count-Out until half-
an-hour should have elapsed after the discovery that there were not forty Members present.
He did not explain how the Pope manages to cause Counts-Out, but this explanation will
be looked for.

Mr. West—the very word has a comfort in the days of the east wind—moved the
Second Reading of a BiU for doing away with the Pew system. There were some amusing

things said on a subject which does not exactly
suggest levity. Mr. Beresford Hope told,
this story:—

'• He remembered having many years ago to seek
a church where his household could worship. He
went to the individual who let the pews in a chapel
of ease near his residence, and he said he wished to
take a pew. The man produced a plan, and he
selected the one nearest the pulpit and the reading
desk. But unluckily he dropped the observation
that the pew was for his servants, whereupon the
man said, ' You don't mean that you are taking the
pew for your livery servants.' On his saying,
' Yes, I am,' he received the reply, ' Then I cannot
let it you, for if livery servants were to come to the
pew, all the ladies and gentlemen in the neighbouring
pews would cease to attend.' (Hear, hear, and
Laughter.)"

MK. HfJNLEY " did not believe that the humbler
classes themselves desired to see the parish churches
managed in such a way as to allow the costermonger
a seat beside that of a duchess. It reminded him
ot the couplet which says that—

' Something the Devil delights to see
Is the pride that apes humility.' "

The Bill was rejected, and then from the
Church we got into the Churchyard, and dis-
cussed the Burials Bill. On proposal that a
recognised Preacher should be allowed to per-
form what service he pleased, Lord Henry
Scott sarcastically enumerated some dissent-
ing bodies, whose names may be new to the
Pensive Public. He mentioned Derbyites,
(laughter), Deists, Freethinkers, Socialists,
Kellyites, Seceders, Separatists, the Sinners
saved by Grace, and Walkerites.

Thursday. Lord Oranmore wanted to get
the Lords to denounce the American Treaty.
He declared that the speeches that had been
made against it were "wanting in tone," and
that Earl Russell's address only had the true
John Bull ring. However, the Lords were not
inclined to oblige him.

Commons took the Ballot Debate. Mr. Ben-
tinck opposed the measure, but would do
nothing, the old Tory, that could help Mr.
Disraeli back to office. Mr. Bernal Osborne
was unusually smart, even for him, and Mr.
Forster made an able speech for secret voting
—he is no " convertite." Sir Stafford North-
cote thought that voters ought to be ready to
be martyrs for principle. Mr. Gladstone
said there was choice of evils. To vote publicly
was to discharge one's duty in the noblest
manner, but intimidation, riot, disorder, de-
manded the secret system. Mr. Disraeli
scoffed at the "mechanical majority" which
would carry the Bill, and gave an agreeable
sketch of Mr. Gladstone as the one man who,
in a rather well disposed and moderate House,
was always agitating about Organic Changes.
On division as to adjournment, the Opposition
had 218 against 340, and on the main question
the Ballot got 324 votes against 230—Majority
for secresy, 94, and the Bill went into Com-
mittee. "And when goes hence?" as Lady
Macbeth asks.

Friday. Lord Salisbury carried an address
for preventing the Endowed Schools Commis-
sion from converting the Emanuel Charity
Boys into pupils of a good school.

Lord Elcho made a slashing speech against
the Army Bill, and after a spirited wrangle,
he was defeated by 212 to 30. Then we had
question about the Crown and Chalice cap-
tured in Abyssinia, for which our soldiers
claim to be paid. Mr. Gladstone held that
we had no right to take these articles, but
would manage the claim somehow, and restore
the prizes when some lawful Abyssinian autho-
rity could receive them. Mr. Henley agreed
that the soldiers had been set on to something
like church robbery. Though they had Orders,
they had not a mission to 1' lay their hands on
every chalice and paten."