Punch (61.1871)

40

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[July 29. 1871

AN IDEA FOR THE ADMIRALTY.

The Agincourt has happily been got off. Let us hope that the
Officers, for enforcing whose responsibility for the accident which
befel her a cry was, with British promptitude, of course raised at

A NEW CALCULUS AT CAMBRIDGE.

The mathematical reputation of Cambridge may be considered to
have been in some sort augmented by the ingenious Ritualist named
in the following extract from the Pall Mall Gazette .—

once, will be equally fortu- ,---- " Some of the Church papers

nate. Had the Agincourt hJ I , I 11 i fflfyi^WZ/ffifflWh kMiJ^WtilhXXkl.MiljlllllllK j state that the Rev. Richard

Wilkins, of Magdalen College.
| Cambridge, has just preached
a sermon in the Church of
St. Michael and all Angels,
Swanmore, in which he stated
as his belief that there will be
twelve women to one man who
would enter heaven. This, he
added, was a calculation of his
own, and was based upon Sacra-
mental Confession."

warrant

they build the Fontenoy.
"Wouldn't that be a graceful
compliment to a noble na-
tion ? By the same rule
another of Her Mnjesty's
ships might be called the
Walcheren. But, ah ! it is
too probable that foreigners,
who obstinately persist in
giving us discredit for the
motives of everything we
do to please them, would
mistake conciliatory suavity
for defiant brag. If we
were to commemorate our
military reverses by the
names of the Queen's ships,
the memorials of misfor-
tune which we should so
exhibit to solace Europe
would not amount to a suf-
ficient number. Thev would
hardly make a fleet. Indeed,
they would be so few as pro-
bably to impress the pre-
judiced Continental mind
with the belief that we
meant to parade them. On
the whole, then, perhaps
the names of our iron castles
had better remain such as
they are. One ship that, if
unhappily need should ever
be, may be expected to
prove herself worthy of her
name is the Devastation.

Distinguished
Foreigner.

We are to have the Ballot,
after all; imported, too,
from another country, and
that neither Australia nor
America, and not in the
first instance into England,
but into Scotland. The

foundered, her loss would
have naturally afforded
gratification to some of our
French neighbours, con-
sidering her name. _ Why
do we christen our ships by
the names of battles in
which we have triumphed ?
Because of nothing but our
national pride. If, on the
contrary, we were actuated

by that spirit of humility ^""^ J^^ffiM'Ik^'W W^W ,The Re^ Gentleman

which certain parties recom- jM^SSH^MMm//''M M J W\\ above-named appears to

mend us to cultivate with ^^^W^MMIS^A'i/Mi ft I ft I 1 have invented a new branch

a view to national defence, ^Si)WjWlBH^»Ja(H of -T^i as co^a-distin-

we should proceed on quite ^-4 ^K^^iMSS^M-wM V— gashed from pure mathe-

another principle in devis- fi^^K^BW^HB^^JSSffll MmKJ*K/ hH Jl^i^t^!
ing our naval nomenclature.
We should name our men-
of-war after engagements

which we have lost, and ex- --^MKM^M/M W/'W/WfflfmW ' WFf'Wi ^ sufficiently sound to sup

peditions in which we have ^ JBBMi« W/'A'WWM, lf\' ; 15 port a superstructure of

been unsuccessful. There is ^eSWmKW///A ^i WAMWm 1 )Vl8 trustworthy figures especi-

no precedent which would ^HKKwMlWM W//WMWP^ / W \ 1 1 ally when the Confessional

-*- - _ . _ - JrJr^'Tnm /MJJ rA I I r\i \Ar If r**lm f I / / f f ,'/I f F / f ' / /, ff '/fJ/i 7iM r I / / liftI \ , \ H II id ri 'p, iTCi'Tunr /,,,nnr/,vi-,M t

the Admiraltv in ^■■lil W//M\wW//, r ill is a Protestant counterfeit

questioned whether the basis
of a calculation based on
Sacramental Confession "

changing the name of the ^^WB^Mw/m VmVAWSm I of a Roman Catholic msti

Agincourt; but they mighl ^^mWMmM lif' J f 1 tution, and the penitents

call the next Iron-clad W^JfflmwW/'y ■ :W/'/MW I t are largely, if not mostly

MOSSOO'S ABROAD AGAIN.

Scotch Waitress. "There's a Laddie doon the Stair wa'antin' tae
see 'ye-"

Mossoo. "A Lady! Mon Dieu ! Say her to Give herself the Pain
to Sit Down while I Arrange my Toilet."

THE "LADY" IN WAITING.

of a sex especially tenacious
of their own secrets. On
what particulars disclosed
by them, whether of one sex
or the other, any such cal-
culation could be founded,
it is hard to conceive. Per-
haps its basis was the simple
fact that, of the devotees
who credited Mr.. Welkins
with the character of a
Roman Catholic Priest, the
women were to the men as
twelve to one. At this rate
the calculation could not
have been a very intricate
one; nevertheless let the
Rev. Richard Wilkins
have all the credit which is
justly due to him as the in-
ventor of the Theological
Calculus.

Somebody Pleased.

That large section of the
community who have no-
thing to sell and everything
to buy, and who ate never
incommoded by the "enor-
mous plethora of cheap
money," or, indeed, money
of any sort, are delighted
beyond measure to hear that
" Purchase " is abolished.

"Airy, what is a "mock

sun?"
"That of summer, '71."

New Discovery.

Those who complain that
the day is hardly long
enough for all they have to
do, should consult the Ma-
nagers of the two Opera

British Association (why do ~ , " ~ ' ■ " Houses, who seem to have

they mix themselves up with politics ?) are going to meet at Edin- I found out some means of lengthening the week in ordinary use,
burgh, and expect " Dr. Buys Ballot of Utrecht.'' I for thev constantly offer the public an " extra night."