Punch (61.1871)

192

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[November 4, 1871.

" HAT—A COVERING FOR THE HEAD."

Dr. Johnson.

Brighton, Oct. 18/1.

NOT LIKE THOSE FOREIGNERS.

The following; description of the attitude of the British multitude
towards the adjuncts of what reporters style a Tragedy was given
in due course, hut Mr. Punch prefers to wait until "sensation"
shall have subsided, before dealing with its topics. Note this.

" A considerable number of people had congregated about the locality, in
order to see the funeral procession take its departure, while a good many per-
sons had gathered in front of the house—in order to obtain a glimpse of
the coffin when being removed from the house and placed in the hearse."

Hermits and monks, in various paintings by the old masters, are
represented in postures of ecstatic attention, contemplating some
image or other memorial relative to their creed, whose sight inspires
them with devotion. In some Continental Cathedrals persons may
be seen gazing in the same way at pictures or shrines, and so forth.
Crowds of such people will stand with their eyes fixed in rapture on
a holy coat, or any other relic exposed by their priests to their
veneration. The British populace is happily exempt from the
degrading superstition which renders those foreigners capable of
imagining sanctity in material objects; on the contrary we see, as in
the instance above cited, that those which have a peculiar fasci-
nation for them are objects physically associated with enormous
crime.

NO END OF CONTROVERSY.

The King of Bavaria has issued a placet, confirming De. Dol-
linger in an ecclesiastical appointment, of which, but for that royal
interference, he would have been deprived by the excommunication
pronounced against him for denying Papal Infallibility. The " Old
Catholic " party at large are in the same boat with De. Dollinger,
yet, in the Bavarian Government's judgment, not out of the Bark of
Peter. Bavaria regards them as not having ceased to be Catholics,
although as against the Infallibility dogma they are Protestants.
Thus the definition of the Pope's Infallibility has not only raised
the question, "Who is a Catholic?" but got it answered by the
Bavarian State in a sense which rejects Infallibility. The same
question will be raised in all Catholic, and perhaps in some Pro-
testant, countries. Who knows that it will not even come before

the British Judicial Committee of Privy Council ? Infallible or not,
the Pope, when he got himself so pronounced, and the Council in
pronouncing him, evidently did not know what they were about.
They did not know what a question they were about to raise.

WHAT EVERYBODY KNOWS

Everybody knows the story of Androcles and the Lion.
Everybody knows the composition of sulphuretted hydrogen.
Everybody knows the plays of Shakspeare.
Everybody knows the meaning of the Balance of Power.
Everybody knows the old English ballads.

Everybody knows where Hogarth, Dryden, Sir Joshua Rey-
nolds, and Dr. Johnson lived in London.

Everybody knows how the electric telegraph is worked.

Everybody knows where black pepper comes from.

Everybody knows the topography of Asia Minor.

Everybody knows what the Silurian System is.

Everybody knows all about our glorious British Constitution.

Everybody knows the difference between an acid and an alkali.

Everybody knows the derivation of " biscidt," " saunterer,"
"currant," "Jerusalem artichoke," "desultory," and
" cambric."

Everybody knows the History of England.

Everybody knows who was Prime Minister when the Queen came
to the throne.

Everybody knows The PilgrirrCs Progress and The Fairy Queen.
Everybody knows the changes a butterfly goes through.
Everybody knows the construction of a watch.
Everybody knows the course of the Danube.
Everybody knows the Rule of Three.
Everybody knows French.

Everybody knows that Napoleon entered Berlin in 1806.
Everybody knows what is going to happen when the Bank of
England raises the rate of discount.

Ha ! have we touched anybody nearly f ")

A CASE OF CONSCIENCE.
At Worship Street, the other day—

" Francis Fuller, 19, described as a labourer, living in Dorset Street,
Spitalfields, was charged before Mr. Bushby with having stolen from the
person of Samuel Lewis, a tobacco-cutter, of Crown Street, Hoxton, a silver
watch and gold chain, value £7."

The prosecutor in this case, on entering the witness-box, objected
to be sworn on the ground that he was an Atheist; had been so ever
since he was eight years of age : was apparently between fifty and
sixty. On consideration, however, his evidence was admitted by
the Magistrate. His Worship probably concluded that a man who
scrupled to take an oath even in his own cause, must, in calling
himself an Atheist, have misdescribed himself. The idea of an
Atheist affording to keep a conscience, doubtless appeared to Mr.
Bushby inconceivable. The Hoxton Tobacco-cutter, however,
affords an example of outspokenness, which some of the more impu-
dent of the South London tradesmen, accustomed to use false
weights and measures, might, one thinks, out of bravado, take an
opportunity to imitate—if they were capable of telling the truth.
What he said he was, those rogues might profess themselves at least
with consistency. He, on the contrary, must be supposed to be not
such a fool as to have said in his heart that which he was fool enough
to think he thought in his head.

Creatures of Impulse.

The instinct which drives the moth and the daddy-longlegs to fiy
into the light of a candle, is perhaps an impulse engendered in such
insects under a natural law tending to make them limit their own
numbers. Does a similar impulse actuate the crowds of people who
always rush frantically to the scene of a fire, and necessitate, from a
humane point of view, the exertions of the Police to keep them off
the flames ?

' Just as High as my Heart."

As You Like It.

Mr. Henry James, M.P., in a capital speech at Taunton, stood to
his guns against the strong-minded women ; but added, " Woman
has her place, and I like to see her in it." But the_honourable and
learned gentleman can't. For Woman's place is in Mr. Punch's
heart. Now, then, say a prettier thing than that!