Punch (61.1871)

250 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 16, 1871,

A HUM FROM THE HIVE.

E it said that no respectable
part of his country's lite-
rature escapes the favour-
able notice of Mr. Punch.
Amid his studies he finds
leisure for the perusal of
the Beehive, which is a
paper written chiehy for
artisans, and to a great
extent by artisans. It has
one honourable feature
among others; it admits
the point-blankest answers
even to its own editorial ut-
terances. To his, 3fr. Punch
of course, admits none, be-
cause anybody who differs
from him must be a fool,
and it is immoral to cir-
culate folly, but he can
admire those who allow
that they a>e not infal-
lible. Mr. Punch regret-
ted to see himself charged,
the other day, by a writer
in the Beehive, with 1' scoff-
ing" at the artisan's habit
of expending all his wages
in good living, and not
putting by for a rainy day. Now a hint is not a scoff, and he
begs that his critic will try to understand that delicacy of the Eng-
lish language. But this by the way. The Beehive is enlivened by
the busy hum of poets, and a lady poet has just burst into verse in a
way which seems to entitle her to hearing from another audience
than that of the hive. She shall sing to the drones, by which she
would mean the educated classes. She is not exactly a Sappho, or
a Mrs. Browning, or a George Eliot, nevertheless she has some-
thing to say for herself, and this it is. Whether it may not be
desirable that the artisan should learn to like another style of com-
position is not now the question. Hear the People's Poetry :—

UNITY AND LABOUK.

That sweet little word, with a meaning so great,
United our strength, what reform 'twill create,

Unity and labour, yet what it will do

Is left to the future, to England and you.

To you, British Workmen, the strength of the land,

It is you that will make us one ?«iited band ;
"With the symbol of peace for thy liberty's crest,

While justice and truth will accomplish the rest.

All serfdom will sink 'neath this life's rough wave,
The true honest artisan no longer called slave ;

This wnited order all men must applaud,
For labour will sooner receive just reward.

The poor wounded soldier, no longer deserted
And driven to starve for the powers he exerted ;

But our country in actions a true Christian land,
The wanting receiving from Unity's hand.

The country will gain all the power it has lost,

The Exchequer will receive what our royalty has cost;

No longer bedecked with such useless gauds,

As that House of Obstructives, they dub House of Lords.

"Anigroeg." {Georgina.)

"HOW WE GOT OUR SPEEDLE."

We were dawdling over the relics of breakfast, and making plans
for the amusements of the day, when my Uncle, who had gone into
his study to open the post-bag, came into the room with an open
letter in his hand, and said, with evident glee, " Guess, girls, what
this tells me ? "

My Cousins began all kinds of possible and impossible guesses;
but their father stood silent and amused. At last, turning to me,
he said,—

" Well, you little mouse, what do you guess ?"
" I guess," said I, " that you have heard of a Speedle ?"
" Right," said he ; " Thompson of Pontefract knows of one; but
there is one drawback. It is blue, and there are no straps."

" It won't matter much, Papa," said Emily; " particularly at this
time of year."

" True," said my Uncle, " I shall certainly send for it."

" But how about Aunt Do-no ? " said Feed.

" Ah ! I forgot," said my Uncle, looking very grave. " Yes, yes ;
her infirmity prevents anything of the kind from being very accept-
able ; but still, if we got some wide red tape, and bound it in
squares, I don't fancy she would mind so much. At any rate, we
will have it, and see what can be done."

This news caused great excitement among us, which may, perhaps,
to those accustomed to Speedles appear odd ;. but it must be remem-
bered that the fact of so many of my Aunts being in Nova, Zembla,
of course, had prevented us from having a Speedle before. However,
a month or so before the time of which I am writing, the Board of
Directors of Toronto had issued amended rules; and we were now no
longer obliged to be so particular.

"It would be awkward, and a little unseemly," said our
elderly Cousin, Sampson Lighteoot, "if it should come on a
Tuesday."

We all agreed that this must be prevented ; and I ran into my
Uncle's study to remind him.

" Yes," said he ; "nor would it be advisable that it should arrive
at the house between three and five ; but I will give full directions,
and I dare say there will be no danger."

My Uncle wrote very fully by the night's post, and enclosed suffi-
cient stamps to pay for the Speedle, directing that it was to be
carefully packed in damp bran.

During the afternoon our good old Rector called. He looked
rather grave and uneasy, and after a few remarks about the
weather, he said,—

" I hear that you expect a Speedle."

"Yes," we said.

" Well, my dears," said he, " I am getting old, and perhaps a little
old-fashioned, but after the Dean's sermon last Sunday week, I can
only view such matters in a serious light. I am the more vexed,"
he continued, "because of course the whole parish looks up so much
to your father."

" But, Me. Doxfoed," said I, " it has only five holes."

" My dear," he exclaimed, "you have taken a great weight off
my mind. If I had known that, I should, of course, have made no
objection. It is soft, I presume ? "

"Partly so," said I.

"That's well, that'swell!" said he, as he wished us all good
day.

The next morning brought a telegram:

" Boston. Pontefract to Jones.—Clackton will send Speedle. Do you
want knobs and sliding-gear ? "

Of course we must have the proper number of knobs,_ but the
sliding-gear, unless attached by ebony joints, and dove-tailed into
the hack, would only increase the pressure, and induce leakage.
So my Uncle replied:

" Jones. Clackton. Boston —Pontefract. Send knobs, but not sliding-
gear, unless perforated obliquely."

We waited in great expectation until the second day after, when
a Railway-porter came up to say that there was a Speedle waiting at
the station for us, and the Station-master begged that it might
be fetched away directly, as the Company's orders regarding
Speedles were very strict. We immediately directed Johnson, the
gardener, to take the largest cart, and fetch the Speedle with great
care.

Most unfortunately, our elderly Cousin, Sampson Lighteoot, had
dropped a hint to Aunt Do-do, and it was as much as we could do
to prevent her leaving the house. We most earnestly assured her
that it was a very small soft Speedle.

" Was it moist P " she asked.

" Of course it must be a little moist," we said.

" Then I will not have it in the house," said she.

So we had to get the coach-house ready for it.

At last, after waiting a long time, it arrived just before dinner,
and we all went into the coach-house to see it unpacked.

It was an ordinary, medium Speedle, with fewer red spots than
usual, but with larger screws and more yellow pulp than are gene-
rally found in blue Speedles. But it seemed in very fair order; and
those who know the value of true Speedles, working eight to the
half-inch, and split up the centre, will appreciate our delight and
enthusiasm.

Not long afterwards, our elderly Cousin, Sampson Lightfoot,
was recalled to Timbuctoo, and Atjnt Do-do, having died at the
advanced age of ninety-four, we had the Speedle brought into the
spare room, where it now remains.

We often pay it a visit, especially on Thursday evenings: and
few can listen to it, or touch its elongated, octagonal gauge
without feeling glad that we were able, at last, to procure a
Speedle.