Punch (77.1879)

August 2, 1879.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 37

BACK-CASTS OF THE SEASON.

be P. of W. Really think
I have had enough of lay-
ing foundation stones in
the rain, and long spoeehes
at public dinners. And
now the Comedie's gone,
deuced glad to, take the
young 'uns for a sea-trip.

P.M. the Duke. Did
one thing. Showed that
Caedweii's naughty
scheme was all naughty
nonsense. Lucky that
naughty South - African
business didn't come to
aa naughty end before
Chelmsford had time to cut out Wolselet. Now, must be~off to drink the naughty waters.

The Premier. Well, yes—might have been worse—between the Afghans and the Zulus. Saved
the Cat and sold Turnerelli. Must look up my points for the City. Some^gilt^still left on the
gingerbread. Dissolution P H'm ! Perhaps as well to think over cries.

The Marquis. Still playing second fiddle, but we both have Garters. And I go down to dinner
first. That's always something. I must continue to dissemble. Suppose I shall have to ask him
down to the country in the Autumn ?

The Chancellor of the Exchequer. Well, perhaps, they were a little trying. So very difficult
to know what to do with them. One doesn't like to be too positive, because, after all, one might be
wrong. Still, I think that all those education sops must work soothingly. And I really don't
see that anybody else has scored, if we haven't. In the meanwhile, we 're rid of it all for the
next six months. That's a comfort.

The Leader of the Opposition.
Afraid we made a mistake about the
Cat. Mr. What's-his-name—ah, yes,
to be sure—Chamberlain, is so very
hard-mouthed in harness. And then,
my "Right Honourable Friend" is
such a jibber. Still, as Sir Frederick
Blount would say, '' I don't think
it will do me any harm " in North-
east Lancashire.

The People's William. Been very
lazy of late. Must devote the entire
recess to work up my arrears of
correspondence, and with all those
Articles for the Nineteenth Century
hanging over my head, too !

The Mammas. Impossible to say
who is worth looking after in these
terrible times. Rent-rolls are a
mere delusion. What are landed
proprietors coming to ?

The Painters. How the deuce do
they think we 're to keep up our
studios ?

The Lord Mayor. Take it all
round, I think I've done it at a very
moderate figure.

The Opera Lmpresarii. That con-
founded Comedie "!

The Managers. Jolly good thing
Holllngshead has made of it. If
we'd only stood in with him !

The Shopkeepers. Never knew
such a season. Nothing doing ex-
cept in umbrellas and waterproofs!

The Landlords. "Rents"? Oh
lord! If " Taxes " would only come
down as fast!

The Farmers. Everything topsy-
turvy, and Kilburn topsy-turviest.

The Public. The worst on record!
Tired of writing to papers about it.

And Mr. Punch. Bad weather,
bad crops, bad trade, and bad times!
Heartily glad it's over! Better
luck in 1880.

The present wet Summer is just
the time for a General Election: it
would put all England under Canvas.

PALACE OE PRISON ?

My dear Friend,

For so I will take the liberty of calling you, in spite of the
purely business character of our relationship—you cannot imagine
what a mistake you have made ! Take my advice (no fee), and come
over at once. This delightful air will do you a world of good. I am
sure it is far more bracing than Boulogne.

Then the state and comfort combined of this palatial residence!
The rooms are simply charming. A most elegantly furnished suite
of apartments—piano and all! My "Gaolers"—I must have my
little joke—are such agreeable fellows, brim-full of the pleasantest
Parliamentary gossip ! Then the view from the drawing-room is
simply lovely ! You cannot imagine how fine the river looks from
the House. The cuisine, too, is most recherche. I had no idea that
the kitchen was so well managed. It almost tempts one to go in for
the House oneself. It is evident that the kitchen arrangements, at
least, are under the surveillance of a Special Committee quite above
bribery. Suppose you tried ? Eh, old man ? Tou must not mind
my chaffing you. The comfort of this delicious little snuggery quite
makes one chirpy!

There is only one drawback—I am told that I shall have to go,
willy-nilly, when the House rises. This will be a sad blow to me.
I should enjoy a few months here enormously. In these hard times
it is something to be put up rent-free in a fashionable neighbourhood,
and the fees are really a mere bagatelle. Paison de plus that you
should join me at once.

Come, my good friend, come. Exchange the bad air of Boulogne
for the warm welcome of Westminster. And believe me

Yours sincerely,

The Clock Tower, The Man under the Clock.

House of Commons.

QUESTION AND REPLY.

Does England to the Prince Imperial owe
A statue ? Must Punch answer, Yes or No ?
Let him rest tts he rests, in statu quo.

Why sorrow's tributes beyond sense extend ?

No subjects here to grace their sovereign bend.

We reared, loved, grieved, wept, tombed: be there an end.

In Westminster, where we our great instal,
With Stanley's leave, he has no place at all:
Woolwich that taught him may record his fall.

And claiming Art's aid, with least need for Art,
Let Chiselhurst its mural marble part
Between the Father, Son, and Mother's heart.

Speed the Plough.!

A Wag, at a recent agricultural dinner, made an agreeable fool
of himself by proposing the toast and sentiment of "Small Profits
and Quick Returns "—explaining that quick returns of rent by the
Landlord were needed to permit even small profits for the Farmer.

the house oe late hours.

" So late to bed, and so late to rise,
'Tis all we shall do to vote the Supplies."

Motto eor the Woolwich Monument to the Prince Imperial.
—" Cadet. Cecidit. Pesurgat."

vol. lxxvit.

e