Punch (78.1880)

February 21, 1880.] PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHAPIVAPI.

73

LEX TALiONIS.

Philanthropic Old Lady. “ Bless me, Child ! where did you get that

DREADFUL BLACK Eye ? ”

Street Arab. “Mother! But—(triumphantly)—ah gat her Three Months

FOR’t, AH CAN TELL YE ! ”

A LITE'S WORK AND A LITE'S WAGE.

“ Can it be True ?—A Correspondent asks this question in
reference to the following report:—‘At the meeting of the
Axminster Board of Guardians, on Monday, the Rev. R. Matson,
late Curate of Membury, Devon, applied for an order to enter
the workhouse as a pauper. He had been Curate for thirty
years, and had never been offered a living, and had nothing to
depend upon. The Guardians thought it a very hard case ; and,
as there was no alternative, granted the order.’ ’’

Shrunk was his frame, and bowed Ms back,

His face pale, sad, and spare ;

White-seamed his suit of rusty black,

And thin his silver hair.

With shaky hand and mien subdued,

His old hat he did dowse,

And of the Board of Guardians sued
An order for the House.

Thirty hard years of Curate’s work—

’Twixt marriage, death, and birth—

’Twixt save and spare, patch, pinch, and pa,re-
Aone now left round his hearth.

More dull and dark Life’s evening grown,

While no Church-living nears,

After Church-starving, too well known,

For all this length of years.

What rest for the old Curate’s head
But the grave still and deep—

Wherein these years through he hath read
So many to their sleep ?

Yes, one rest more !—to win that one
He craves the Board’s consent—

The workhouse! Why its shelter shun ?

For workers it was meant.

Who fairer tale of work can show,

From manhood’s prime to age ? —

Work like Ms Master’s, crowned, we know,

With much his Master’s wage !

The Board debates, regrets, demurs,

But grants the order due.

They print it in the newspapers,

Headed “ Can it be true ? ”

The Plight Title for the Duchess oe Marl-
borough.—Lady Lift-tenant!

MR. PECKERDOWN'S LENTEN MEDITATIONS.

/ am a year older. The hair on my crown is less, the protuberance
in my figure greater. I avoid billy ground more and more. My
digestion is a matter of history. I am farther away from a pillar-
box.

I wish that article on “ Mithridates ” for the Encyclopedia
Cosmopolitana were begun. To-morrow morning, if possible, but
certainly the morning after, I will get up at four, light my owu
fire, and bring all my powers to bear on Mithridates.

I wonder what the Chancellor of the Exchequer’s morning i
musings are if be wakes as early as I do. Does be fall a-thinking j
of his great Bill, Ms Budget ? Does he dream of a surplus, and
awake to a deficit? Will be tax my cigar, or my grog, or my
income ?

Would that yonder file held nothing but receipted bills !

What did Dr. Podager say ?—that there was undoubtedly a gouty
tendency in my system.

Phtl is coming back from Colorado, not with a fortune, but with
a wife and four children.

I could have overlooked it, if the postman bad passed this morning
without calling. Rupert writes for a remittance; Ernestine is
enamoured of a young gentleman who has Ms way to make in the
world, but possesses a beautiful tenor voice; and Aunt Fanny is
sure I shall be very pleased to bear that she is going, after Lent, to
bestow herself (and her thirty-five thousand pounds) on her medical
attendant—who will be the junior partner by at least fifteen years.

The boys are coming back from School! They have got the
measles at Dr. Pryme’s.

“Messrs. Mansfield and Woodhouse present their compliments
to Mr. Peckerdown, and regret extremely to say that there is not
at present sufficient activity in the publishing department to warrant
them in producing the Byzantine History, except at Mr. Pecker-
down’s own risk. They therefore return the MS. with many thanks
for its perusal.”

My tenant, Cropnill, has just been here to pay his rent. I have
been obliged to allow him an abatement of thirty per cent. I asked
him to lunch : perhaps it was as well he wished to get back by an
early train.

My wife tells me Cook is going to leave to be married. She suits
us admirably, being a rare conj unction of ability and economy. I
can never hope to taste such cutlets and tomato soup again. There
will not be much scope for her acquirements at the fireside of Mill-
house the gasfitter.

I was just a day too late for the allotment of the new shares in the
Bank of the Tropics. I see that they are quoted at a high premium.

Yery little progress seems to be making in my Chancery suit.

A first and final dividend of 6Id. is declared in Slope’s bankruptcy.
My claim was over £15C0. _ k

Marmaduke has failed in the preliminary Examination for the
Civil Service, his notions of orthography not being in unison with
those of the Examiners. What do these high-priced schools teach ?

I hear wonderful accounts of Syd’s progress at Redshaw—in
AtMetics.

Seasonable Reading—the weak state of the Revenue, the analysis
of the fluid supplied by the Metropolitan Water Companies, the
proceedings of the Home-Rulers in Parliament, and the Assize
Reports.

1 have three distasteful things to do to-day—To give instructions
for my will, to make a formal and long-postponed call, and to
get my hair cut.

Another Jury Summons ! [ Collapse.

Past Praying For.

The new Bankruptcy Bill contains provision for punishing re-
ceivers who keep the proceeds of Bankrupts’ estates iu their hands
for more than ten days.

Ah, Sir John ! do what you will, we doubt your power to upset
the old saw, “ The receiver is as bad as the thief.”