REAL POLICE INTELLI-
Scene — Criminal Investiga-
tion Office. Various dis-
guises hanging about—false
noses, spectacles, wigs, mous-
taches, 8fc. Detectives dis-
covered seated in solemn
consultation over the latest
" Mystery." Enter to them
Somebody. All start.
Somebody. Criminal Investi-
gation Department, I believe ?
"Well, if it is, what then ?
Somebody. Then — I have
come to offer you all assist-
ance in my power in this
matter. Here's my card.
Detectives [recognising the
name—to one another, aside).
It's him! It's the man we
were going1 to arrest, and then
didn't. [They sing, softly)—
" First we would, and then we
Then we thought we could, but
Somebody. Well, Gentle-
men, what do you say ?
Chief Detective. "Well—
don't quite know—such a very
unexpected—in short, you've
taken us so by surprise—but
if you '11 kindly wait while
we telephone to the Treasury
to know whether we 're to
arrest you or not, we shall
indeed be very much obliged.
Will you have the goodness P
Thanks. Very kind of you,
Ladies complain of the diffi-
culty of walking gracefully
in the Divided Skirt. Can
there be more stability as a
lasting fashion for a divided
skirt than for a divided house ?
But let that pass. Give it a
locus standi. AVe have had
the " Alexandra Limp," the
" Grecian Bend," and the
not have the " Harberton
Hobble " ?
PUNCH'S FANCY PORTRAITS.-No. 62.
MR. PETER GRAHAM, R.A.
[Elected Dec. 8.)
" 'Tis true, 'tis Peter, 'tis Peter,
And Peter 'tis, 'tis true."—Hamlet.
See the Elect ! The new Pi,. A.
Provision this for " A Rainy Day ;"
Known as "Wee Peter" he was before,
"Laugh Peter" now, " Wee(p) Peter" no more !
Go on, Peter ! Go on, Peter Gra-ham,
now you can say, " yes, I P. G. ' R. A.' am !"
PORTENTS AT WEST-
Canon Prothero quotes after
" To stupid schoolboy
Yield the site !—'Tis plain
Will come to dunce inane ! "
The King of Holland has
conferred on the Duke of Al-
bany the Grand Cross of the
Order of the Dutch Lion. It
doesn't sound complimentary,
if Dutch Lion be associated
with what is proverbially
known as Dutch Courage. Of
what material is the decora-
tion made ? Dutch metal ?
It was well intentioned, as
probably His Majesty thought
nothing could be so appro-
priate for a Duke as an orna-
ment, which in itself was a
Visitors to the Cattle Show
perhaps noticed certain sheep
described as the "Suffolk
black-faced breed," animals
with " black legs and faces."
These black-legs do credit to
the Suffolk turf, instead of
He may make a mull,
He may be all right,
But he never is dull,
'Cos he's always bright.
Mrs. Ramsbotham is under
the impression that the West-
minster boys are going to play
on the Adelphi Terrace, and
she hopes they will not make
too much noise, and disturb
Le Premier Pas.—Adam.
[Or what they'll come to. A glance ahead.)
This was the thirty-fifth day of the great sale, and the marked
excitement with which the proceedings were watched showed no
signs of abatement. The main attractions in yesterday's catalogue
were the celebrated copy of Whitaker's Almanack ; an almost per-
fect specimen of this rare and choice work, printed in fairly legible
type, with handsome crimson back, and green cloth sides (clasps of
silver, supposed to have worn off with age, wanting) ; and the
world-renowned Railway Guide, known from the circumstance that
a salad-bowl must have once been inadvertently set down on it on
some refreshment counter, as the " Oil and Vinegar Bradshaw.'" Eor
ttis it.was anticipated that a very great struggle would be made,
though it is not too much to say that no one before the sale had
anticipated that it would go for such a remarkable sum as £14,700.
The competition, however, for this rare and beautiful example of
perfectly illegible nineteenth-century-work was keen and weU sus-
tained, a first bid of threepence-halfpenny, made by some outsider,
being instantly capped by Mr. Quaritch, amidst waving handker-
chiefs, floods of tears, and deafening hurrahs, with a sudden leap to
£7,000. This was soon followed by a spirited increase of 10s. Qd.,
offered, amidst almost insufferable and breathless excitement, by
the representative of the Colney Hatch Library Trustees ; and at
this point the serious work of competition may have been said to
have commenced in good earnest. Mr. Ouaritch, nothing daunted,
instantly tacked on another £5,000 ; and his opponent, again cau-
tiously advancing another 10s. 6d., this time in the face of an angry
shower of loaded catalogues and inkstands, the great Collector sud-
denly took the room completely by storm, by a succession of £500
springs, bringing up the price, unasked, to the final high figure at
which, in a scene of boundless and frantic enthusiasm, the hammer
ultimately fell. Indeed, so spontaneous was the excitement that
arose over this thrilling contest, that by common consent the auc-
tioneer was pitched out of window as Mr. Ouaritch was borne home
on the shoulders of the crowd, and a bonfire, to celebrate the event,
was hurriedly heaped up on the spot from the remaining lots that
should have been taken in the day's sale. This unexpected incident
bringing the proceedings to a cheerful though abrupt conclusion, this
great and remarkable sale terminated.
Humane Society's Order.—In future pigeon-matches, in order
to prevent all suffering to the winged and wounded, let only wood
pigeons be used. Mechanical of course.
Punch's fancy portraits. - No. 62
Quelle des Titels
H 634-3 Folio
Bildunterschrift: Mr. Peter Graham, R.A. (Elected Dec. 8.) "'Tis true, 'tis Peter, 'tis Peter, And Peter 'tis, 'tis true." - Hamlet. See the elect! The new R.A. Provision this for "a rainy day;" Known as "Wee Peter" he was before, "Laugh Peter" now, "Wee(p) Peter" no more! chorus. Go on, Peter! Go on Peter Gra-ham, Now you can say, "Yes, I P. G. 'R. A.' am!"
1876 - 1886