Punch: Punch (87.1884)

September 13, iocv*.

KUiNIUH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

121

The Head of the Government.

THE VERY-MUCH-AT-HOME PARLIAMENT.

HE great success
that has attended
the holding of Ama-
teur Parliaments in
various parts of
London and the
country, has in-
duced Mr. Alderman
Brown - Jones, of
Belgravia Mansions,
Kensal Green Road,
North Kensington
(and St. Mary Axe,
City), to resolve his
domestic circle into
a miniature House
of Commons. Sub-
joined is an account
of the initial pro-
ceedings, which, it
will be seen, like
the reports of other
Amateur Parliamen-
tary Debates, is of
a highly interesting
character.

The President-
p/ws-First Lord of
the Treasury-p/ws-
Chancellor of the
Exchequer (Mr.
Alderman Brown-
Jones) having taken
his seat in the
Drawing-Room, re-
quested the Hon.
Member for the Store-Cupboard to move the Resolution of which she
had given private notice.

Mrs. Alderman Brown-Jones, thus called upon, paid she was
ashamed to find herself placed in the present painful position. i or the
last two months she had constantly urged the Government to make a
move, but without the smallest effect. She had considered it her
duty as Leader of the Opposition—(cheers)—to point out to the Right
Hon. Gentleman at the head of the Financial Department, that it
was absolutely necessary for the health of everyone in that House
that the recess should be spent at the sea-side—(“ Hear, hear ! ”)—or
abroad. {Cheers.) The younger members of the household were
absolutely pining for change of air (“ Hear, hear!" from the
Member for the Mar series), and the girls were losing their French
from want of practice on the Continent. {Cheers from the Members
for the Boudoir.) She begged to move ‘‘That this Household, at
the end of this sitting, do then
disperse, to reassemble that day
week, either at Trouville or
Dieppe.” {Loud and prolonged
cheering, amidst which the Hon.

Member resumed her seat.)

Master Buttons said he had
much pleasure in seconding the
Resolution of Missis—he meant
the Hon. Member for the Store-
Cupboard. But before he said
anything more he would like to
know why he (the Hon. Member)
had only tenpence a week beer-
money, when Cook-

The President interposed. The
Hon. Member for the Domestic
Offices was out of order. The
question could not he put.

Master Buttons did not see that.

What he wanted to know was,
why Cook—he asked pardon, the Member for the Kitchen—had
eighteenpence a week beer-money when-

The President again interposed. The Hon. Member was out of
order. The Hon. Member had best be cautious. He might go too far.

Master Buttons said he did not care. As the President knew, at
the end of the month it was arranged that he should vacate his posi-
tion. He did not intend to seek re-election. {Ironical cheers from
the Member for the Kitchen, supported by the ^Representative of the
Scullery.)

Captain Plantagenet Brown-Jones quite agreed with the Hon.
Member for the Store-Cunboard that a move should be made. But

The Leader of the Opposition.

what he wanted to know was—where to ? There were lots of jolly
places, didn’t the Hon. House know ?

The President did not quite understand the drift of the Hon. and
Gallant Member for the Billiard-Room’s remarks. Did the Hon.
and Gallant Member suggest any particular spot ?_

Captain Plantagenet Brown-Jones replied in the affirmative,
but hang him (the Hon. and Gallant Member) if he could remember
the name.

Mr. Jarvey asked pardon for addressing the House, but he should
not be doing his duty to the Gover- i
nor, he should say Government, if
he did not mention that the horses,
were sadly in need of rest.

The President asked the Hon,
Member for the Stables whether rest
without a change would not be }
sufficient ?

Mr. Jarvey replied in the affirm-
ativei, He had done his duty.

Miss Prim trusted that she was |
not laying herself open to the charge !
of unnecessary interference, but she
did think, as Mistress of Education,
that the time had arrived for the !
Resolution of the Hon. Member for
the Store-Cupboard to be adopted.

The President thanked the Hon.
Member for the School-Room for her
opinion, but should act on his own
responsibility. He was quite aware
that precedents could be quoted in
support of the Resolution that was
now before them. [Cheers.) But
each particular case must be con-
sidered on its own particular merits.
In the present instance he could not
give such a Resolution his support.
{Groans.) Owing to various circum-
stances to which it was unnecessary
to more particularly refer, the
revenue this year had been hardly
sufficient to meet the estimated ex-
penditure. Several Bills had been
sent in more than once, and thrown j
out Onto the wastepaper-basket),. j
owing to this painful condition of affairs. Besides, the Continent ,
just now was unhealthy, and had better be avoided. :

Mrs. Alderman Brown-Jones here interrupted the Speaker to ask
him whether he had discovered any sign of this alleged unhealthi-
ness when he went over with a friend to Paris for a fortnight at
Whitsuntide? {Ironical cheering from both sides of the House.)

The President said that was beside the question. (“ Oh, oh!”)
He had merely visited the French Capital to ascertain whether it
appeared to be the metropolis of a
country suitable for a seaside trip.

(.Renewed cries of “ Oh. oh ! ”) He
had come to the conclusion, after
the most careful consideration, that
it was not. {Groans.)

Miss Tabttha Tomkins was very-
sorry to hear this demonstration of
dissatisfaction. As a near relation
to both the Head of the Government
and the Leader of the Opposition
(but considerably their junior), it
pained her very much to be present
at what she was forced to describe
as “ a scene.” She appealed to her
honourable Sister and no less hon-
ourable Brother-in-law, and asked
them to agree to an Amendment.

If the French Watering-places were
too expensive, why not try an Eng-
lish one ? (“ Hear, hear ! ”) Asa
visitor, deriving no benefit from her
suggestion, she could take a dis-
passionate view of the subject.

After consulting with the Leader
of the Opposition, the President
thanked the Hon. Member for the Best Spare-Bedroom, and informed
her that an agreement had been arrived at, which it was hoped
would be satisfactory to all parties. The details would not yet be
divulged, as they had still to he discussed, by himself and the Right
Hon. Lady, the Leader of the Opposition, in a post-midnight Cabinet
Council. It was possible that the recess might be spent at Scar-
borough. {Cheers.) [The proceedings then terminated.

The Hon. Member for the
Domestic Offices.

The Hon. Member for the Best
Spare-Bedroom.