DOI Heft:
August 21, 1886
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17656#0091
August 21, 1886.] PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHARIVAEI. 85
ROBERT AT MARLOW.
Weatheb it was brort on by the wunderfool kindness and horse-
pitalerty of my Colonial and Injean frends at the Colmdenes, witch
was as continual and as agreeabel as their jollity and good temper,
or weather it was from my good nature in trying my werry best to
like their Austraylion wines, as the best way to show my grattitood,
I don't of course know, but, not feeling werry well, I consulted my
Fammerly Feesician, at the Free Horsepital, and being reckomended
by him perfect rest, and change of hair, and change of seen, and
plane living, for a rayther sharp atack of what us City Waiters calls
the Livery complaint, as so many of the Masters and Wardens of
Livery Companys suffers from it, I did not hezzitate for a minnit,
but decided at wunce to rewisit gentlemenly " Great Marlow," the
same as I did larst year, so " Here we are agane! " as the Clown
says, in the most nicest and the most cleanest and the most charm-
ingest place in all the River Terns, filled as it is almost to the werry
brim, with the most butifullest and most fairey-like ladies as ewer
Pulled a pare of skulls, "without making no Fowls or catching no
Krabs," as the Poet says, and drest in such xquisset taste as must
amost drive the yung fellers mad as rows with 'em.
Great Marlow seems to have made up its mind to be a Greater
Marlow than ever, and is a throwing out its wings to the Heast and
to the West most wrecklessly, and is acshally a bilding of a new
Boat-Ouse dreckly opperset KuTG Shaw's, and, as if to hadd hmsult
to hinjury, its bilders has bin and gone and asked the Q.tjbew to let
'em put up her Majesty's harms, all in gold and warious cullers, jest
over the princepal entrance, and to appint them her Majisty s own
Boatmen "By speshal apintmeant," so that wenever she cums to
Great Marlow and wants a boat for a nour or 2, she will be com-
pelled to go there for it insted of to King Shaw's, as of course she
wood hotherwise ha' done.
Weather Lord Rongdole Chttbchell—who, I am told, is a going
for to be Prime Minister in the Ouse of Commons—has brort any of
his pollytickle influence to bare in this most himportant matter, I
nose not, but there is warious rumours a stirring in the hair of Great
Marlow, as gives sum of its principle inhabbytants rayther a ankshus
look. If a royal Boatman, why not a royal Baker, or ewen a royal
Shoe-maker P and Echo asks, Why not? We've got the same
Dutiful garden liberally throwed open to hewerybody as before, and
relidgusly closed to hewerybody on Sundays as before. The Irish
servant told me it was becos there would be such a lot of people
wanting to enjoy it on that day of rest. Ah, it isn't quite a day of
rest forewerybody tho'. At the Hangler's butiful Otel on the banks
of the River, where numbers of the most helegantest ladies and gents
sets under the trees a having their dinners, and setterer, there's ony
two pore perspiring Waiters to wate on 'em all, and ewen they ain't
not allowed not to wear no hats !
We 're in the same cumferal home as last year, but not the same
rooms. More grander praps, but jest a leetel more dusty. Oh, why
doesn't Great Marlow water its one great street, and make it the
airthly Pairadise it would then be? And there's one thing as I
misses sadly. I've lost my pianny40! and my little boy misses it
too. He was a gitting on so well with his musick last year. He
coud play " God Save the Queen," second part and all, with one
finger capitally, amost as loud as sum peeple with all their ten! and
was natrally looking forrard to even himprove upon that this year,
but his hopes is blyted, as usual! So he has, I regrets to say, taken
to Brandy Balls and Toffy !
We has three heasy chairs and six onheasy ones, and a Sophy, so,
wen it rains, we has plenty of means of making ourselves cumferal
by all going to sleep cumferal together till it's fine again.
Great Marlow has its Great Misterry, as I bleeves most places has,
tut Great Marlow, with a courage and a degree of hopenness as does
it honner, does not attempt to hide or conceal its whereabouts, but
■writes boldly on the house as contains it, M. H., which in course
means Mistery House, but it adds as a sort of conumdrum for its
Humerus wisiters, "No. 5." Many on 'em has dewoted ours to the task
why No. 5 ? but in wain, it still remanes the puzzel it has ever bin.
I have gazed sometimes for 5 minits at a time, on the ouse, with all
its lower winders bricked up and all its hupper winders painted
Pjack, but have never seen nobody enter either of its too sollem
black doors. Time may reweal its orful secret to the lite of day
during the next 10 days, but if not, it will remane to me one of the
great misterrys of my waiting xistencev And ofien, I makes no dowt,
wen pawsing in my ofishal dooties while the Gests eat their favrite
coarse, the strange thort will cum across me, "WhyNo.5?" Imust
be on my gard too, or it mite so appen, that wen told to bring a bottel
°f No. 5, I mite astonish the Gentelman by asking him in a fit of
^absence, " Why No. 5?"
H I was a Artist, witch I ayn't at present, and I spose as its a
uttel too late to begin, I shood cum to Marlow ewery fine Sunday
during the Season, and paint all the Ladies m the Lock, and as it
woodn't be quite perfect without their gentlemanly companions, I
should paint'em altogether. And I wenture to say,—and arfter my
wisit to the Royal Accaddemy the other day, I think I ort to know
sumthink about Hart,—that a good large Pictur of a full Lock, say
with 2 Steam Larnches and about a dozen row Boats in it, all on 'em
filled with sich bootiful Ladies and sitch fine good looking elthy
young chaps, as I seed them last Sunday, and all drest in sitch
lovely and fairy like eostooms as I never seed afore, wood make sitoh
a pictur both as regards culler and buty as never was seed sinoe
Ladys first learnt to dress, and Painters fust learned to paint 'em.
If anybody dowts me, let 'em cum nex^ Sunday and judge for their-
selves, and then dowt no more. Robert.
HALF-A-DOZEN OP THE OTHEE.
Mb. Punch,—Sib, , „
The correspondence started in the pages of one of your
contemporaries as to the requirements for a Continental tour by a
gentleman who wrote to ask advice as to what six best books in
various departments of literature he ought to take with him, has
suggested to me how very many of us bent on the same pleasant
experience either modify its pleasure, or spoil it altogether, through
want not of books but of other necessary and familiar things that
we can ill afford to leave at home behind us. _ How many of us
scarcely care to move if unaccompanied, for instance, by some
favourite musical instrument or objet de vertu, or article of household
furniture indispensable to our comfort. Then, again, how frequently
we dislike giving up some accustomed game or separating ourselves
from some domestic pet; and last, though not least, of all, how
nearly all of us leave our medical men behind us with extreme
regret. Yet, if we can drag a cumbersome library about with us,
why should we not, by slightly increasing the bulk of our requisites,
adequately supply these other more pressing and obvious wants and
deficiencies of modern travel? Following, therefore, the lead of
your contemporary to which I have referred, I have asked some of
your readers to send in specimens of what they consider to be the
most fitting way of filling up a list of the above six requisites for
travelling, comprising, as I have already indicated—
1. A favourite musical instrument.
2. A familiar objet de vertu.
3. An indispensable piece of household furniture.
4. A selected game.
5. An ordinary domestic pet.
6. A well-known and reliable medical man.
In reply to this appeal, three Correspondents have already favoured
me with the following answers, which serve to show what a wide
field for the display of variety in taste in the matter the raising of
the question opens out. As they may be useful as a guide to those
who contemplate making an essay for themselves in this direction, I
subjoin them:—
I.
A Drawing - room
Grand Piano.
Three Cabinets of
rare old Dresden
China.
A Four-post Bed-
stead, with canopy
and hangings com-
plete.
Apparatus for a
Polo match (with
ponies complete).
A trained Bear
(with or without a
cage).
Sir Jaues Paget.
in.
A pair of Kettle-
drums.
Ormolu Louis XIV.
Timepiece, with ac-
companying vases on
pedestals, to match.
A massive old oak
Dining - room Side-
board.
A full-sized Eng-
lish Billiard - table,
together with cue-
rack and marker.
A couple of tame
Boa Constrictors.
Sir Andrew Claek.
h.
An American Organ
(48 stops).
Six selected full-
length Family Por-
traits.
Library Writing
Table and Desk, fitted
with sixteen drawers
and chair.
Complete Cricket
set. with two - ton
roller for preparing
ground, and profes-
sional umpires.
A pack of Basset
Hounds.
Dr. Kidd.
It will be seen from the above that the writers, though appearing
likely at first sight to be hampered a little in moving from place to
place, through the course of a Continental tour, with the articles they
propose to take with them, evidently regard the transport as quite
feasible. There can at any rate be no doubt as to the success of the
enterprise if carried out. Of course the selection of the six particular
headings is quite arbitrary, and it is quite possible that some
correspondents may be found who would like to take, not one, but
six musical instruments, or, for the matter of that, six medical men
with them, and if there be any such, I invite their communications.
Promising you in the meantime, if I receive any, to furnish you with
them.
I beg to subscribe myself as one who does not consider that to
travel about, even accompanied by an entire circulating library,
comprises the whole art on a holiday tour of,
Taking it Comfortably.
Sors Viegiliana (foe the Chief Secbetaey in Hlsteb) .—Tros
Tyriusqiie mihi nulio discrimine agetur.
you xci.
i
ROBERT AT MARLOW.
Weatheb it was brort on by the wunderfool kindness and horse-
pitalerty of my Colonial and Injean frends at the Colmdenes, witch
was as continual and as agreeabel as their jollity and good temper,
or weather it was from my good nature in trying my werry best to
like their Austraylion wines, as the best way to show my grattitood,
I don't of course know, but, not feeling werry well, I consulted my
Fammerly Feesician, at the Free Horsepital, and being reckomended
by him perfect rest, and change of hair, and change of seen, and
plane living, for a rayther sharp atack of what us City Waiters calls
the Livery complaint, as so many of the Masters and Wardens of
Livery Companys suffers from it, I did not hezzitate for a minnit,
but decided at wunce to rewisit gentlemenly " Great Marlow," the
same as I did larst year, so " Here we are agane! " as the Clown
says, in the most nicest and the most cleanest and the most charm-
ingest place in all the River Terns, filled as it is almost to the werry
brim, with the most butifullest and most fairey-like ladies as ewer
Pulled a pare of skulls, "without making no Fowls or catching no
Krabs," as the Poet says, and drest in such xquisset taste as must
amost drive the yung fellers mad as rows with 'em.
Great Marlow seems to have made up its mind to be a Greater
Marlow than ever, and is a throwing out its wings to the Heast and
to the West most wrecklessly, and is acshally a bilding of a new
Boat-Ouse dreckly opperset KuTG Shaw's, and, as if to hadd hmsult
to hinjury, its bilders has bin and gone and asked the Q.tjbew to let
'em put up her Majesty's harms, all in gold and warious cullers, jest
over the princepal entrance, and to appint them her Majisty s own
Boatmen "By speshal apintmeant," so that wenever she cums to
Great Marlow and wants a boat for a nour or 2, she will be com-
pelled to go there for it insted of to King Shaw's, as of course she
wood hotherwise ha' done.
Weather Lord Rongdole Chttbchell—who, I am told, is a going
for to be Prime Minister in the Ouse of Commons—has brort any of
his pollytickle influence to bare in this most himportant matter, I
nose not, but there is warious rumours a stirring in the hair of Great
Marlow, as gives sum of its principle inhabbytants rayther a ankshus
look. If a royal Boatman, why not a royal Baker, or ewen a royal
Shoe-maker P and Echo asks, Why not? We've got the same
Dutiful garden liberally throwed open to hewerybody as before, and
relidgusly closed to hewerybody on Sundays as before. The Irish
servant told me it was becos there would be such a lot of people
wanting to enjoy it on that day of rest. Ah, it isn't quite a day of
rest forewerybody tho'. At the Hangler's butiful Otel on the banks
of the River, where numbers of the most helegantest ladies and gents
sets under the trees a having their dinners, and setterer, there's ony
two pore perspiring Waiters to wate on 'em all, and ewen they ain't
not allowed not to wear no hats !
We 're in the same cumferal home as last year, but not the same
rooms. More grander praps, but jest a leetel more dusty. Oh, why
doesn't Great Marlow water its one great street, and make it the
airthly Pairadise it would then be? And there's one thing as I
misses sadly. I've lost my pianny40! and my little boy misses it
too. He was a gitting on so well with his musick last year. He
coud play " God Save the Queen," second part and all, with one
finger capitally, amost as loud as sum peeple with all their ten! and
was natrally looking forrard to even himprove upon that this year,
but his hopes is blyted, as usual! So he has, I regrets to say, taken
to Brandy Balls and Toffy !
We has three heasy chairs and six onheasy ones, and a Sophy, so,
wen it rains, we has plenty of means of making ourselves cumferal
by all going to sleep cumferal together till it's fine again.
Great Marlow has its Great Misterry, as I bleeves most places has,
tut Great Marlow, with a courage and a degree of hopenness as does
it honner, does not attempt to hide or conceal its whereabouts, but
■writes boldly on the house as contains it, M. H., which in course
means Mistery House, but it adds as a sort of conumdrum for its
Humerus wisiters, "No. 5." Many on 'em has dewoted ours to the task
why No. 5 ? but in wain, it still remanes the puzzel it has ever bin.
I have gazed sometimes for 5 minits at a time, on the ouse, with all
its lower winders bricked up and all its hupper winders painted
Pjack, but have never seen nobody enter either of its too sollem
black doors. Time may reweal its orful secret to the lite of day
during the next 10 days, but if not, it will remane to me one of the
great misterrys of my waiting xistencev And ofien, I makes no dowt,
wen pawsing in my ofishal dooties while the Gests eat their favrite
coarse, the strange thort will cum across me, "WhyNo.5?" Imust
be on my gard too, or it mite so appen, that wen told to bring a bottel
°f No. 5, I mite astonish the Gentelman by asking him in a fit of
^absence, " Why No. 5?"
H I was a Artist, witch I ayn't at present, and I spose as its a
uttel too late to begin, I shood cum to Marlow ewery fine Sunday
during the Season, and paint all the Ladies m the Lock, and as it
woodn't be quite perfect without their gentlemanly companions, I
should paint'em altogether. And I wenture to say,—and arfter my
wisit to the Royal Accaddemy the other day, I think I ort to know
sumthink about Hart,—that a good large Pictur of a full Lock, say
with 2 Steam Larnches and about a dozen row Boats in it, all on 'em
filled with sich bootiful Ladies and sitch fine good looking elthy
young chaps, as I seed them last Sunday, and all drest in sitch
lovely and fairy like eostooms as I never seed afore, wood make sitoh
a pictur both as regards culler and buty as never was seed sinoe
Ladys first learnt to dress, and Painters fust learned to paint 'em.
If anybody dowts me, let 'em cum nex^ Sunday and judge for their-
selves, and then dowt no more. Robert.
HALF-A-DOZEN OP THE OTHEE.
Mb. Punch,—Sib, , „
The correspondence started in the pages of one of your
contemporaries as to the requirements for a Continental tour by a
gentleman who wrote to ask advice as to what six best books in
various departments of literature he ought to take with him, has
suggested to me how very many of us bent on the same pleasant
experience either modify its pleasure, or spoil it altogether, through
want not of books but of other necessary and familiar things that
we can ill afford to leave at home behind us. _ How many of us
scarcely care to move if unaccompanied, for instance, by some
favourite musical instrument or objet de vertu, or article of household
furniture indispensable to our comfort. Then, again, how frequently
we dislike giving up some accustomed game or separating ourselves
from some domestic pet; and last, though not least, of all, how
nearly all of us leave our medical men behind us with extreme
regret. Yet, if we can drag a cumbersome library about with us,
why should we not, by slightly increasing the bulk of our requisites,
adequately supply these other more pressing and obvious wants and
deficiencies of modern travel? Following, therefore, the lead of
your contemporary to which I have referred, I have asked some of
your readers to send in specimens of what they consider to be the
most fitting way of filling up a list of the above six requisites for
travelling, comprising, as I have already indicated—
1. A favourite musical instrument.
2. A familiar objet de vertu.
3. An indispensable piece of household furniture.
4. A selected game.
5. An ordinary domestic pet.
6. A well-known and reliable medical man.
In reply to this appeal, three Correspondents have already favoured
me with the following answers, which serve to show what a wide
field for the display of variety in taste in the matter the raising of
the question opens out. As they may be useful as a guide to those
who contemplate making an essay for themselves in this direction, I
subjoin them:—
I.
A Drawing - room
Grand Piano.
Three Cabinets of
rare old Dresden
China.
A Four-post Bed-
stead, with canopy
and hangings com-
plete.
Apparatus for a
Polo match (with
ponies complete).
A trained Bear
(with or without a
cage).
Sir Jaues Paget.
in.
A pair of Kettle-
drums.
Ormolu Louis XIV.
Timepiece, with ac-
companying vases on
pedestals, to match.
A massive old oak
Dining - room Side-
board.
A full-sized Eng-
lish Billiard - table,
together with cue-
rack and marker.
A couple of tame
Boa Constrictors.
Sir Andrew Claek.
h.
An American Organ
(48 stops).
Six selected full-
length Family Por-
traits.
Library Writing
Table and Desk, fitted
with sixteen drawers
and chair.
Complete Cricket
set. with two - ton
roller for preparing
ground, and profes-
sional umpires.
A pack of Basset
Hounds.
Dr. Kidd.
It will be seen from the above that the writers, though appearing
likely at first sight to be hampered a little in moving from place to
place, through the course of a Continental tour, with the articles they
propose to take with them, evidently regard the transport as quite
feasible. There can at any rate be no doubt as to the success of the
enterprise if carried out. Of course the selection of the six particular
headings is quite arbitrary, and it is quite possible that some
correspondents may be found who would like to take, not one, but
six musical instruments, or, for the matter of that, six medical men
with them, and if there be any such, I invite their communications.
Promising you in the meantime, if I receive any, to furnish you with
them.
I beg to subscribe myself as one who does not consider that to
travel about, even accompanied by an entire circulating library,
comprises the whole art on a holiday tour of,
Taking it Comfortably.
Sors Viegiliana (foe the Chief Secbetaey in Hlsteb) .—Tros
Tyriusqiie mihi nulio discrimine agetur.
you xci.
i