DOI Heft:
February 26, 1887
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17657#0116
106
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Febbu^y 26, 1887.
[HZIOI
PREDESTINED !<
Northern Matron {before the School-Board). "I'm not against Eddioation, Ladies and Gen'l'men. I al'ats make him take
his Book o' Nights. But keelly I calls it a flyin' in the face o' Providence to be keepin' a Boy out o' the Stables
with such a pair o' legs as his'n ! ! "
HONOURS EASY.
Deae Mb. Punch,
I noticb that Mr. Dixon, a Senior Wrangler, has written
a letter to the Jurist giving hints on " the Art of being Examined."
Now I've never wrangled myself, but I flatter myself I have been
through double as many'examinations in^.the course of my career as
Mr. Dixon has, and I can add a lot ofjparticulars which will be
found tremendously useful by candidates'for scholarships or honours
at the Universities, for the Army, Civil Service, and so on.
The very first thing to do, when you are going to be examined, is
to eat a particularly hearty breakfast. This gives you confidence.
On arriving at the examination hall, try and secure a place between
two clever-looking (and if possible short-sighted) candidates, from
whom you will be 'able to fcopy freely. Also remember, if you see
the Examiner himself anywhere about, to smile at him in a genial
way, and,:if you get'near enough, makeyourself agreeable by asking
him what he thinks of the question of Home Rule, or the condition
of Europe, or something brilliant of that sort. He is sure to be
gratified, and as Examiners are " always human," sometimes even
painfully so, it is not a bad thing to gratify them. Eecollect that
every Examiner has a " personal>quation," which it is your business
to find out. There are some who warmly relish being slapped on the
back unexpectedly, and asked "how they were the day after to-
morrow?" On the only occasion when I have personally adopted
this system, it did not succeed; in fact, it ended in my being ex-
pelled from the room forcibly, and summoned at the Police Court for
an unprovoked assault. This, however, is a mere detail. The plan
is an admirable one, if you get hold of the sort of man who likes it.
From various incidents in my own experience I should not be in-
clined to reoommend the plan of scribbling lists of the Jewish^Kings
or the "Furies and Fates," on one's shirt-cuffs, or taking in a
Lxddexl and Scott's Greek Lexicon, wrapped up in a brown-paper
parcel, on the pretext that it contains your lunch. It is a much
better plan to plead illness at the beginning of the examination, then
take the paper out with you, and go home and write out the correct
answers from your books, and slip in at the last moment and deposit
your answers among all the others. It no doubt requires some
adroitness and "sangfroid" to execute this manoeuvre properly.
Shortly after trying it myself in an important examination at Oxford
I was politely requested to quit the University, and migrated to
Durham, but I consider that this was entirely due to the Oxford
authorities envying my superior abilities. They are, you know, very
Conservative there, and dislike genius and originality of all kinds.
" Viva Voce'''' is an ordeal which is always very embarrassing.
There is, I am afraid, absolutely no way of getting through it satis-
factorily except the clumsy old plan of really acquiring the know-
ledge which enables one to answer the questions asked. I have
sometimes thought it would be a good idea, when one sits down at
the table opposite the Examiner, to take a ten-pound note out of
one's pocket (in mistake for a handkerchief), and wave it gently to
and fro, as a hint to the Examiner of the reward which he may
expect if he tempers the questions to the shorn candidate. I have
never tried it myself, chiefly because I have never had a ten-pound
note to wave. But I can cordially recommend it to anybody who
likes experimenting, and is in search of novel sensations.
At\the examination " In Sanctis Theologiis" at Cambridge (at
which University I entered under an assumed name, after a some-
what hurried departure from Durham), I was "viva voced" by a
spectacled and 'particularly innocent-looking Examiner, so that I
thought it would be quite safe to pin a paper containing the chief
events in Ecclesiastical History on my hat, and place it in front of me on
the table. My answers were admirable. The innocent-looking
Examiner, at the end seemed quite pleased, and said, " Tou have
answered so well, Mr.-, that you almost seem to have learned
the subject by heart." I gave a modest, yet winning smile in reply.
" Are you quite sure you have not learned it by art instead?" he
went on, and made a sudden grab across the table at my hat, with
results which it is needless .to go into. Suffice it to say that I
shortly afterwards entered as a student at Gottingen, where I now
am, and that I am sure these few hints, if received in a proper
spirit, will be of much service to those about to submit themselves to
the erdeal of examination—the curse of the present century.
Yours, knowingly, A. Dodgkins.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Febbu^y 26, 1887.
[HZIOI
PREDESTINED !<
Northern Matron {before the School-Board). "I'm not against Eddioation, Ladies and Gen'l'men. I al'ats make him take
his Book o' Nights. But keelly I calls it a flyin' in the face o' Providence to be keepin' a Boy out o' the Stables
with such a pair o' legs as his'n ! ! "
HONOURS EASY.
Deae Mb. Punch,
I noticb that Mr. Dixon, a Senior Wrangler, has written
a letter to the Jurist giving hints on " the Art of being Examined."
Now I've never wrangled myself, but I flatter myself I have been
through double as many'examinations in^.the course of my career as
Mr. Dixon has, and I can add a lot ofjparticulars which will be
found tremendously useful by candidates'for scholarships or honours
at the Universities, for the Army, Civil Service, and so on.
The very first thing to do, when you are going to be examined, is
to eat a particularly hearty breakfast. This gives you confidence.
On arriving at the examination hall, try and secure a place between
two clever-looking (and if possible short-sighted) candidates, from
whom you will be 'able to fcopy freely. Also remember, if you see
the Examiner himself anywhere about, to smile at him in a genial
way, and,:if you get'near enough, makeyourself agreeable by asking
him what he thinks of the question of Home Rule, or the condition
of Europe, or something brilliant of that sort. He is sure to be
gratified, and as Examiners are " always human," sometimes even
painfully so, it is not a bad thing to gratify them. Eecollect that
every Examiner has a " personal>quation," which it is your business
to find out. There are some who warmly relish being slapped on the
back unexpectedly, and asked "how they were the day after to-
morrow?" On the only occasion when I have personally adopted
this system, it did not succeed; in fact, it ended in my being ex-
pelled from the room forcibly, and summoned at the Police Court for
an unprovoked assault. This, however, is a mere detail. The plan
is an admirable one, if you get hold of the sort of man who likes it.
From various incidents in my own experience I should not be in-
clined to reoommend the plan of scribbling lists of the Jewish^Kings
or the "Furies and Fates," on one's shirt-cuffs, or taking in a
Lxddexl and Scott's Greek Lexicon, wrapped up in a brown-paper
parcel, on the pretext that it contains your lunch. It is a much
better plan to plead illness at the beginning of the examination, then
take the paper out with you, and go home and write out the correct
answers from your books, and slip in at the last moment and deposit
your answers among all the others. It no doubt requires some
adroitness and "sangfroid" to execute this manoeuvre properly.
Shortly after trying it myself in an important examination at Oxford
I was politely requested to quit the University, and migrated to
Durham, but I consider that this was entirely due to the Oxford
authorities envying my superior abilities. They are, you know, very
Conservative there, and dislike genius and originality of all kinds.
" Viva Voce'''' is an ordeal which is always very embarrassing.
There is, I am afraid, absolutely no way of getting through it satis-
factorily except the clumsy old plan of really acquiring the know-
ledge which enables one to answer the questions asked. I have
sometimes thought it would be a good idea, when one sits down at
the table opposite the Examiner, to take a ten-pound note out of
one's pocket (in mistake for a handkerchief), and wave it gently to
and fro, as a hint to the Examiner of the reward which he may
expect if he tempers the questions to the shorn candidate. I have
never tried it myself, chiefly because I have never had a ten-pound
note to wave. But I can cordially recommend it to anybody who
likes experimenting, and is in search of novel sensations.
At\the examination " In Sanctis Theologiis" at Cambridge (at
which University I entered under an assumed name, after a some-
what hurried departure from Durham), I was "viva voced" by a
spectacled and 'particularly innocent-looking Examiner, so that I
thought it would be quite safe to pin a paper containing the chief
events in Ecclesiastical History on my hat, and place it in front of me on
the table. My answers were admirable. The innocent-looking
Examiner, at the end seemed quite pleased, and said, " Tou have
answered so well, Mr.-, that you almost seem to have learned
the subject by heart." I gave a modest, yet winning smile in reply.
" Are you quite sure you have not learned it by art instead?" he
went on, and made a sudden grab across the table at my hat, with
results which it is needless .to go into. Suffice it to say that I
shortly afterwards entered as a student at Gottingen, where I now
am, and that I am sure these few hints, if received in a proper
spirit, will be of much service to those about to submit themselves to
the erdeal of examination—the curse of the present century.
Yours, knowingly, A. Dodgkins.