Punch (92.1887)

246

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[Mat 21, 1887.

HAPPY THOUGHT.—A VOCATION!

Eva. "I suppose those extremely nice-looking young men are the students, or house-surgeons, or something?"

Maud. " No doubt. Do you know, Eva, I feel I should yery much like to be a Hospital-Nurse !"
Eva. "How strange I Why the very same Idea has just occurred to Me !"

MAC-SMITH IN THE WITCHES' CAVE.

{Shdkspeare Adapted to Circumstances,)
Scene—A Dark Cave. In the middle a Cauldron boiling.

First Witch. By the pricking' of my thumbs

Something Tory this way comes;
Open, locks, whoever knocks.
Enter Mac-Smith.
Mac-Smith. Here now, yon secret Separatist hags,

What is't you do ?
All. A deed we will not name.

Mac-Smith. I conjure you, by what you once profess'd,

(Whate'er you now are come to) answer me:

Though you' ve unloosed the mob, and let it fight

'Gainst Church and Land; although the yesty Ilads

Confound and swallow legislation up ;

Though Order be dislodged, and Law struck down;

Though pitch is poured upon poor maidens' heads;

Though Leaguers, fangless here, to Canada slope

To shake that State's foundations ; though the measures

We fain would 'stablish tumble altogether

Because Obstruction rages, answer me

To what I ask you.
First Witch. Speak !

Second Witch. Demand !

Third Witch. We '11 answer !

First Witch. Say if thou'dst rather hear it from our mouths

Or from our Master's ?
Mac-Smith. Call him: let me see him!

Meseems he's none too ready to appear,

Nor prompt to answer when the challenge sounds.
First Witch. He will not be commanded: here's another

More potent yet than he.

[ Thunder. An Apparition of a Grand Old Man arises.
App. Mac-Smith! Mac-Smith I Mac-Smith!

Mac-Smith. Had I three names I'd answer to them all.

App. Mac-Smith! Mac-Smith! Mac-Smith! Beware Mac-Glad-
stone !

Beware the Thane of Flint I Dismiss me:—enough !

[Descends.

Mac-Smith. Whate'er thou art for thy good caution thanks;
The very man I fear:—but one word more,
That rebel head is down, his Home Rule bantling,
Scarce lived the lease of nature, paid his breath,
To Tories and to Unionists. And yet
I would know one thing: tell me (if your art
Can tell so much) shall his bad issue ever,
Split up this Kingdom ?

All. Seek to know no more!

Mac-Smith. I will be satisfied: Tell, tell me when

Our Bill shall pass, in spite of brute obstruction,
And myriad Amendments. Let me know :—
Why sinks that cauldron ? and what noise is this ?

First Witch. Show! [Hibernian Hullaballuo.

Second Witch. Show!

Third Witch. Show!

All. Show his eyes and grieve his heart;
Come like shadows, so depart.
[Hundreds of Amendments appear, and pass in disorder ;
the last with a glass in his hand,

Muc-Smith. Great Heavens ! The second is so like the first,
A third is like the second. Filthy hags,
Why do you show me this ? A fourth ? Start, eyes !—
What!—will the line stretch out till the crack of doom ?
Another yet ? A seventh ?—I '11 see no more.
And yet another comes, and bears a glass
Which shows me myriads more; and some I see
Which may take weeks—or months—to foil, or carry.
Horrible sight! I see to whom 'tis due,
For the League-bolstering Babbler smiles upon me.
And points at them for his. I '11 look no more ! [Exit hastily-

Something like a Ceil.—The reported alterations at Millbank.