Punch (92.1887)

3C6

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[Junk 25, 1887.

CAUTION TO LADY CHAMPIONESSES.

{Match between Miss Harriet de Vere Talboys and the Hon. Emily Vavasour.)
Chorus of Bookmakers. "Go it, 'Amiet ! Three to One on Hemily!" &c, &c, &c.

MR. PUNCH'S MANUAL FOR

YOUNG RECITERS.

Me. Punch had quite set his heart upon
furnishing his pupils with a Jubilee Ode
which should afford the fullest scope both to
their loyalty and
elocution; and he
had given an early
order to his regu-
lar Poet to furnish
him with a piece
of superior quality
and finish. The
Bard, however,
yielding to an un-
worthy diffidence,
has shrunk from
competing with
singers of stronger
pinions than his
own, and had it
not been for a
gifted native gen-
tleman of Bengal,
a Mr. Chattekjee

MOOKEBBHOT, who

rushed gallantly
in to fill the gap with a composition that is, on
the whole, equally creditable to his head and
heart (though perhaps a little unfortunate
here and there, from a not unnatural want of
familiarity with the nicer nuances of the
language)—had it not been for enterprising
Mr. Mookebbhox — the Amateur Beciter
would have had no Jubilee Becitation upon
which to expend his energies. Here, then, is
tie Baboo's spirited effort, which, from its

extreme simplicity, can be rendered with
comparative ease by even a beginner: —

JUBILEE ODE.

Compounded by Baboo Chatterjee Mookerbhoy, as
token of loyalty.

In the groves of calorific India,

Stands a pillar, stamped with two initials ;

And the Ryot bows himself before it,

Making a poojah.
(" The recitationer," says the Baboo, " should
manifest here before the audience the
alluded mechanis7n.")
Next he crowns it with a wreath of champak,
And, on tiptoe gingerly approaching,
Down its mouth, that gapes, as if expeotant,

Pops in a sweetmeat.
{Imitate a popping gesture, and skip back

with a salaam.)
Then he lays his letter down before it,
Hoping for the notice of the Demon,
Who resides within the little eolumn—

V. K. the viewless !
{Fold your arms across your stomach, with'a
transit to cultivated compassion and quiet
inflatedness.)
We are blessed with better education
Than to kneel in front of pillar-boxes,
Though they all are symbols of a Sov'reign,

Splendidly tip-top!
No malignant deity is V. R.
To be wooed by long propitiation!
But a kind, good-natured-looking lady—

Judging by portraits.
So 'tis not with superstitious motives
That we've ornamented all the lamp-posts
With, festoons of flowers made of paper,

Finer than fivepence!

For we greet the fiftieth recurrence

Of the day our Queen the throne ascended

With a solemn universal high jinks,

Painting the town red !
On this rompish Day of Jubilation
Let there be no sign of any snip-snap I
Let the bells ring out a merry welkin!

(" The practice of making the welkin ring on
public rejoicings is remarked at," says
Mr. Mookekbhot, learnedly, " by all the
number-one poets and best-quality war-
blers:')

Flourish the trombones I

(With an exalted raptness of one who has
got a dazzlement on his Horatio, or mind's
eye.)

Here she comes, the Governess of Albion I
Let us all draw in our horns before her,
Make a leg, and greet her with a curtsey,

Shout " Lackadaisy! "
Now we bend, respectfully collapsing,
For her stately caravan advances,
Through the festive crowd of cockahoopers,

All of a twitter I
0 Victohia, we thy loving subjects
Raise for thee the clamorous cui bono !
Deign to jerk us, in retaliation,

One little simper I

(With an action of imploration, you should
retire backward, avoiding the emotional
displays of feeling which are likely to
proceed from those by whom you may be
audited.)

Mr.DAViTT has made a few mistakes lately.
When Mr. Pabnell is inclined to use strong
language, he says " 0 DaytttJ "