Punch (95.1888)

102

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[September 1, 1888.

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OUT OF TOWN.

(UNFASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE.)
Mr. and Mrs. William Nuprins (and Family) are spending the Sunday Afternoon on Hampstead Heath.

"MY HEART'S IN THE HIGHLANDS."

(New Version of an Old, Song.)

Mr. P——I. sings :—

My heart 'a in the Highlands; it long has heen here ;
My heart's in the Highlands, a-ohasmg the deer.
The hills of ould Erin are greener, I know,
But for sport, at this moment, they 're plainly no go.

My heart's in the Highlands, &e.

This is clearly the place for this species of game.
Here I think I may manage to track and take aim.
'Tis a monster, and proud of its high-antlered crown;
But just give me a chance, and I '11 yet hring it down.

My heart's in the Highlands, &c.

My heart 'a in the Highlands. Great G-laddy is clear
That if 1 've a chance of success, it is here.
He knows the ground well, and he wishes me luck.
Well, 7 wish it were night, and the quarry well struck !
My heart's in the Highlands, &c.

1^ shall manage a pop at you yet, please the pigs !
Though I do feel a little hit like poor old Briggs :
My elbows so ache, and my knees are so sore:
Still I'm bound so stalk on, though it's rather a bore.

My heart's in the Highlands, &c.
They didn't expect me—those Cockneys did not—
To come out as a crack Caledonian shot.
Goschen's swaggering challenge of course was mere bluff.
Horroo!!! Yet I wish that these rocks were less rough.

My heart's in the Highlands, &c.
Yes, my heart's in the Highlands,—hut so are my legs,
"Which are stiff at this moment as two timber pegs.
But oh, just to hear a swift bullet go cr-r-raunch
Through yon animal's hack-bone, or into its haunch!

My heart's in the Highlands, &c.

How little they like me, the Sassenach lot!
A sleuth-hound's slow patience, plus skill as a shot,
Are needful for stalking a quarry like yon.
"Well, a lesson we '11 learn ere all here is done.

My heart's in the Highlands, &c.

All hail to the Highlands! All hail to the North!

The home-land of William, the country of worth!

And if to yon brute its quietus I give,

I '11 shout for Auld Scotland as long as I live.

My heart's in the Highlands—that is to say, here-
My heart's in the Highlands, a-ohasing the deer.
Believe, " brither Scots,"—I assure you 'tis so,—
My heart's in the Highlands wherever I go !

A GOOD JOKE (EOR CLIENTS) FROM THE LA"W COURTS.
High Court op Justice, Chancery Division.

Counsel (addressing Vacation Judge). My Lud, in this case I appear
to ask your Ludship for leave to have a petition to wind up a Com-
pany answered at an early date. Under a special Act of Parliament
passed on the 13th of August, 1888, the Court has jurisdiction to
wind up this Company under the provisions of the Companies Acts.

Learned Judge. I wish it to be known by the Bar that Judges
who sit in the Vacation have no knowledge of recent Acts of Par-
liament. Some order has deprived the Judges of notice of Acta of
Parliament formerly sent them. I oannot accept notice by hearsay.
Let the petition go into the general list.

Counsel. Very well, my Lud. But-■

Learned Judge. Extremely sorry. Call the next action!

Haenessed to a Nightmaee.—It appears, from a letter of Sir
William Eraser to a contemporary, that the Duchess of Richmond's
ball at Brussels, on the eve of Waterloo, was given in a coach-house.
Thus the identity of the site of this rather gruesome entertainment
no longer remains without a stable foundation.