Punch (95.1888)

September 22, 1888.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 141

-cheerfully {he Jiasjust blown a hole through the Squire's 1ml). "Aiia, Most Ami ! Voila

comment dbs accidents arrivext ! "

A DITTY FOR DINARD.

At fair Dinard to-day
You can flirt, dance, and play,
As at most of suet Trench places we
know;

You can bathe at your ease,
In what costume you please,
On the beach near the little Casino.

There's a sea very blue,
And the sky's azure too,

And the air maybe held to be bracing;
But the nymphs we see there,
With their stays dans la mei\

Counteract its effects by tight-lacing.

You will find at the Club

Men quite game for a "rub,"
Or for Poker, when daylight is ended;

You may lose, if you go

To the Petits Chevaux,
Or to Baccarat,—not recommended.

No one Tennis forgets,
And they work at their " setts"
With an ardour that 's simply
astounding;
From the morning till night
Atalanta flies light,
And the balls o'er the court go re-
bounding.

Thus we live by the side
Of the fast-flowing tide,
An improvement in health the great
gain is;
While no river in Prance
Can compare with the Ilance
Near Dinard, which in Ille-et-Yilaine
is.

"MAKING A BRITISH HOLIDAY."

My Dearest Blanche, 1276' Parh Zane' SePL u>lm-
In spite of being in Town in the middle of September, I have
had such a good time of it! Oh! I do so wish you had been with
us last Thursday. Well, you must know, dear, that Charley (who
has his long leave just now) persuaded Mamma to allow Florence
and. myself to go with him to the Alexandra Palace to see Professor
Baldwin take his sensational leap. As Charley said, "it was
absolutely rippin' I" It was, really! Mamma would not come,
because, she said, "he might get killed!" "Why, of course he
might," replied Charley; "but that's half the fun of it." He
appealed to us; and although, of course, we were not "cruel," or
anything of that sort, yet we were forced to confess that the jump
would have been rather insipid if taken without risk of danger.
" Just so," replied Mamma—she can be awfully disagreeable at
times. " Then you really go to see Professor Baldwin on the chance
of being present at his immolation."

Well, reasonably enough, this made us both very angry with
Mamma for saying such dreadful things, and all the more deter-
mined to go, so when Chaeley called for us the next morning, he
found us ready waiting, and impatient to be off. We were both
dressed in white, with "picture " hats and long'pompadour parasols.
We first tried getting down to the Alexandra by rail. But it was
too awful! Every carriage was filled with three times as many
travellers as it should have naturally contained! You can fancy,
dear, what a terrible crush there was! So then Charley very
wisely got a Hansom, which I confess was a little small for three,
but still much better than the railway. And so we drove down,
enjoying the fun immensely, and Charley making us laugh by
telling us how nearly the Professor was run over by a steam-engine
on one occasion. So ridiculous, you know, dear, not to be able to
guide the parachute, but to be forced to come down in all sorts of
absurd places ! And then Florence (who, you know, dear, entre nous,
makes rather a parade of her sensibility), said she hoped we should
not go too near—not where there was any chance of coming across
anything disagreeable. "Oh," said Chaeley, "if he does fall, I
fancy he will bury himself in the earth in the tidiest manner possible.
So you need be under no apprehension of seeing anything ghastly."
And at this moment the Hansom cabman put his head at the hole in
™e r0°f and told us that he had heard it strike six, and he thought

w? j Detter if he pulled up on the brow of a hill we had just
reached. So Charley bundled out and helped us girls to descend.

We had scarcely.taken our seats on a rug that Charley had spread

for us on the grass, when up went the balloon with the Professor
dangling to it. '' Oh, I am so glad! " cried Florence. ' ^They said he
might back out of it by pretending that the wind was in the wrong
quarter, or something silly of that sort! Now I do hope he goes up
two miles ! It won't be the least bit of fun unless he goes up quite
the two miles!" Well, I must confess, my dear, I was never so
excited in all my life ! Up went the balloon, and we saw the Pro-
fessor getting smaller and smaller until he looked quite like a funny
little doll! "By Jove, he's going to jump!" said Charley, who
had been watching the whole affair through a field-glass. And jump
he did! For a moment my heart stood still. He came down like a
stone. '' Smash, I think," observed Charley, quietly, and I thought
I would not have missed it for anything, as we should have seen all
the affair without any of the unpleasant details. All of a sudden,
Chaeley said the parachute was opening and he was safe so far.

Of course we girls thought that now all the fun was over. Not at
all. The excitement was next, to see how long he would hold
on. " Bet you a pair of gloves he comes down safely!" shouted
Chaeley. "Very well," I replied, "Iwillbethe doesn't!" And of
course I was now doubly interested, as my gloves depended on it.
Provoking! I lost, and Charley was triumphant!

And now, dear, as I hear the bell ringing for dressing, I must put
down my pen. I hope you will get up to Town in time to see the
Professor take one of his wonderful leaps. Good-bye!

Your own loving friend, Maud.

P.S.—We went to see the Roman Sports at the Italian Exhibition
the other day. One thing was very absurd. When a gladiator is to
be killed, they appeal to the Vestal Virgins to know if his life may
be spared. And then the Vestal Virgins point to the earth with
their thumbs to say "No." So absurd! As if anyone would like to
see a man killed before her very eyes!

To a Lively Authoress

0 ekisk5t Matron, writing in
the TJ- .

-niversal or Quilterian Review,

Calling to mind in these still lively
latter days

The telling touches in those bril-
liant Saturdays,

Say what is your '' Philosophy of
Marriage ? " [parage P

Do you the Cotyledonous dis-

Or would you send to hermitage

and holler-tree
Marital victimto his Gynoecolatry ?
Better do this than drown dull

care, feel chippv,
And live Soeratically with Xan-
tippe. [that's risky !

Is this the moral! Let's do all
In Cyprian bowers let us live "all
frisky"!