Punch (95.1888)

October 13, 1888.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

177

OUR NEW M.F.H.

Kennel Huntsman. "A Man brought this here last Night, but he didn't leave no Message to say if it were for Ridin'
or Bilin'." [Delight of our new M.F.H., Mr. Popple, who has given £40 for it to carry a Whip.

EGBERT'S LONG WACATION.

Larst weak I told you I 'd kontinuew in my nex. This is my nex
and I rekummense. The nex day, it looking rayther inclined to he
fine, as if the rain was beginning- to get rayther ashamed of itself for
doing its werry best to spile all the crops, and all surten peepel's
tempers, and other peepel's best close, I perswaded my wife to go with
me for a wark on the bewtifool Terns Embankment, and there we
strolled about in the lovely gardins for a nour or two, and I wentured
to say, as the tooth ake was much better, that the nice looking
surroundins, with the lliver a flowing by, reminded me of that appy
day in Grinnidge Park, when I arsked her to share my umbel fortunes
for wheel or for wo. She was ewidently pleased, and a smile lited
up her ample f eeters, when, as ill-luck woud have it, j est at that werry
moment, down came one of them orful downpores as seems to have
bin trying all this summer to beat the record, and allers succeeding.

Well, after that day's xperienee, I must confess that, bewtifool as is
the well kep Gardens, and the floing lliver, and the nice cumferal
seats, the Terns Embankment is not a conwenient plaice to seleck to
be cort with your best Beloved, with jest the remanes of a bad tooth-
ake, in a drenching storm of rain and thunder and litening, and with
her best dress on. So we have not repeated that xperiment. The
nex day we spent at the Great British Mewseum, and we both agreed
that it seemed a great pitty that the Country was so werry pore that
they eoudn't afford to have the Stattys mended. There was several
of the most bewtifoollest of 'em all as had either a harm, or a leg, or
an and or two, broke rite off, and one of 'em had his nose nocked rite
off, and, aperientlv, no attemp being maid to mend any on 'em.
Them as is without heds of coarse represents peeple as was beheded
afore their warious deaths, so the same fault cannot farely be found
with them. We eoudn't, neether on us, at all hundersta'nd why so
many on 'em was not allowed to dress theirselves propperly afore
they had their stattys taken. Mrs. Robert ewen going so far as to
say as she thort as sum on 'em, speshally the ladies, ort to have bin
ashamed of thereselves, let alone the chance of catching werry bad colds.

Of course it rained pretty hard before we got home ; but we had
not werry far to go, so we did not git so werry wet this time, fort-
rritly. The day after was much like the day afore, so, as I eoudn't
go out, I purtended to be a reading, and slep a good deal of the

time ; but, when night came, we went to the Theater, so as to have
a nice evening's emusement, to cheer us both hup. Ah, that was a
nice evening's emusement that was!

I went carefully through the warious statements in the Noose-
papers, and picked out a Play that as the Times said " thrilled the
House!" and, as the Adwertiser said, "would attract all play-
goers;" and, as the Daily Noose said, "held the audience breath-
less." So off we went to the " Liesee' em," and there we sat for a
hole hower a seeing siteh a xhibishun of disgusting orrers as we
neether of us never seed afore and fondly opes as we shall never see
no more. We eoudn't stand no more of it, but went out in the middel
of the werry wust part, feeling quite hill, and walked home a
grumbling and a growling all the way at being so shamefoolly
descaved by the joekular papers, and wundring how any man coud
have taken'sitch a lot of trubbel to both look and hact more like a
wild beest than a man.

However, a nice little bankwet that my partner had prepaird as a
surprise, and a partickler nice glass of ot Rum and water, enabled
us to sup full of hoysters insted of '' full of orrors," as sumbody says,
and we was abel to bannish 'em from our thorts and to sleep the
sleep of the hinnercent. Robeex.

The Cold Weather has set in !—How to warm yourself. Sit
near our Eurniss, when he is giving his lecture on Portrait-painting.
As suitable to a wintry entertainment, the lecture is illustrated by
"Slides." In spite of being near the Eurniss, the views are not
dissolving; in fact our artist has positively declared that he sees no
reason for changing his views.

An Irish Delicacy.—The Parnellite Members are declared by
contemporary to give themselves the airs of exceptional educa
tion, and delicacy of constitution. Let them, then, be so careful o
their constitution, as closely to confine the pursuit of their aims am
ends to constitutional methods.

Interesting to Geological and Medical Students.—In future,
no one will be eligible for the Swiney Lectureship who has not gone
through a regular course of Bacon.