Punch (95.1888)

November 3, 1888.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 207

''A WORD IN SEASON," &c.

1 Never mind, Measter !—up ye gets aoes. You wor werry nigh Off that time !'

who, once more successfully repeating Iris famous leap, again cracked
the spine, and left his second man dead upon the field. It being
now only within a few minutes of the calling of time, and thirteen
of the Home team being, more or less, seriously disabled, while
only four of the Strangers were left to limp to their places, the
Umpire decided that the game was over for the day, and the majority
of the injured men were forthwith removed to the local Hospital from
the ground on stretchers. A riot among the betting fraternity, who
were attending the match in great numbers, that at one moment
seriously threatened to imperil the peace of the locality, was
eventually quelled by the Police.

THROUGH AW IMPERIAL HORSE-COLLAR.

It appears that during the German Emperor's visit to Naples a
Newspaper Correspondent, disguised as a waiter (what would our own
"Robert" say to such a freak?), was present at an Imperial
luncheon. It seems that King Humbert was kept on the broad grin
by the Kaiser's witticisms and practical jokes. Amongst the latter
was the admirable jest of preventing Prince Henry of Prussia from
seeing a passing torpedo-boat by pushing him back into his seat.
This mirth-provoking plaisanterie, according to the journalistic
garcon, caused His Majesty of Italy to explode with laughter.
Fortunately for the world, a record of some of the other quaint con-
ceits of William the Second has been preserved, from which the
following short paragraphs are extracted :—

. -1 Rather Fish/ Remark.—?'rinee Henry having cut his finger
m attempting to eat peas with a carving-knife (after the German
fashion) his Illustrious Brother thrnst a couple of inches of sea-snake
over the wounded part. "What have you done that for?" asked
His Royal Highness. "I want to make it 'eel!'" was the witty
re?i j Couat Herbert Von Bismarck (who was in attendance)
yeUed with merriment for more than an hour.

Consomme-ate Wit.—The King of Italy was taking some soup,
when by suddenly jogging His Majesty's arm the German Emperor
caused some of the savoury liquid to trace a pattern upon the Royal
shirtfront. " "What did you do that for ? Do you know what you
have done ?" inquired the Italian Monarch, rather hotly. " I owes

the soup," replied the German Emperor, in excellent English.
"I soup owes!" Count Von Bismarck (who was in attendance)
had to swallow a table-cloth to suppress smiling.

Butter and Butter.—Before leaving Naples the Emperor got up
early, and, running to the apartments reserved for his Royal host,
plastered the passage in their immediate neighbourhood with butter.
The Crown Prince, slipping down, sprained his ankle, and smilingly
declared that he did not like butter-slides so early in the morning. " I
see," responded "William the Second, "butter late than never!"
Count Von Bismarck (who was in attendance) commenced dancing
a saraband to conceal his merriment.

Orimaldi Outdone.—At the Review at Rome the German Emperor
rode rather a restive charger. His Majesty, being an indifferent
horseman, was soon thrown into the midst of the Italian Royal
Family, occupying a barouche. Immediately recovering his com-
posure, he made a grimace, and exclaimed, using the Imperial
Plural, "Here We are again! " Count Von Bismab.ce (who was in
attendance) stood upon his head, as a token of silent sympathy.

From the above it will be seen that, should it be considered ad vis -
able to produce a Pantomime in Berlin next Christmas, at the Im-
perial Court, there will be no difficulty in procuring a thoroughly
efficient amateur Clown._

"Solvitur Steamendo."—Ten days ago Sir Edw-ed W-tk-n
sailed for India in the P. & 0. Arcadia. In Arcadia there is much
to be learnt, and the Great Railway Arcadian is anxious, we hear, to
ascertain by personal inspection how it happens that Hie Mails are
carried distances up to 12,000 miles, and, such is the excessive
punctuality, always delivered before, not after, time by the
" P. & O., Weather or no " (as one of their own P. and Oets sings),
with a view of applying the same system on the S. E. R. Yes,
S. E. R. No more late trains!

A Protest—Our " Robert " wishes it to be publicly known that
his surname is not Elsmere. " This Helsmeer," he writes, " is, as
I ear, a clergyman, and I may ave bin mistook for im, on account of
simmerlarrity of kostoom, wich is a kumplerment to the revvrunt
gent in henny case."