Punch (95.1888)

210

[November 3, 1888.

SOCIAL AGONIES.

{Exit awful Bore, after protracted Visit.)

"Oh, William! How uxqenially you said 'How d'y do?' to poor Professor Blokf.r !"
"Yes, indeed, Papa! And oh, how effusively you bade him Good-bye!"

THE MENACING MONSTER.

A Dream of the Day After To-morrow.

" The formation of the great Association for a monopoly in salt is likely to
have imitators, and it is now said that the formation of a gigantic monopoly
in coal, with a capital of eighty millions, is under consideration. This will
probably be followed by similar combinations to control iron, cotton, woollen,
and other manufactures. Hitherto it has been fondly believed that the growth
anil progress of English trade was chiefly due to a wholesome competition. . . .
All this, it seems, is to come to an end, and the American system of monopolies
is to take the place of the English system of competition."—Standard.

The Day of Bi°; Things was approaching its noon ;—

(Its dawn had first glimmered across the Atlantic)—
Each trade had swelled out like a Monster Balloon,

And nothing was noticed that was not Gigantic,
Things seemed to hark hack to the morning of time,

When Monsters and Mud were Creation's chief features.
When sixty-foot saurians revelled in slime,

With Mastodons, Mammoths, and other huge creatures.
The Mammoth, indeed, seemed the type of the age,

Which was ruled by the love of the simply colossal.
To have a Big Boom was the general rage,

And every man's dream was to " run " or to "boss " all.
There were some who were silly enough to inquire

The probable goal of this curious tendency ;
But most were contented to share—or admire—

Ihe Day of Big Things in its blazing resplendency.
And as for the Small Things—they went to the wall,

For people or plans not extremely Titanic
Were calmly considered " not in it at all,"

And snubbed with a scorn which was ultra-Germanic.

Ah me, the Big Booms ! That got bigger each day,
The monopolist " Kings," like the circles in water,

Grew wider, and swallowed up all in their way,
Of shops and small firms there was general slaughter.

The millions of Naboths had never a chance,_

Against the few Ahabs, whose numbers still dwindled;
The "Trusts" piped the tune, and the victims must dance;

They had nothing to do but to stare and be swindled.
That was not the word that was used, to be sure,

To prig on so spanking a scale is not prigging,
But—well, say " financing " with motives quite pure,

Or controlling the market by ringing or rigging.
Conspiracy ? Nay, that is not quite the_ word

That only applies to malign combinations
Against—well, say Rent,—which are wrong and absurd ;

But to keep up high prices by smart " operations "
In salt or in iron, in coal or in wool,

Is plainly legitimate pulling together.
For who would protest, save a poor well-plucked fool,

Against the snug flocking of birds of a feather ?
" Strikes ? Well, they were rascally niinous things,

For they kept down fortunes by keeping up wages.
'Twixt Labour's Trade Unions and Capital's Rings

The fight was prolonged, but no longer it rages."
So chuckled Monopoly, cock of the walk

Once more on the death of that plague, Competition.
The new Mammoth, Mammon, with saurian stalk,

The Colossus of Cash in plethoric condition,
Like dragons primeval, were lords of the time ;

They battened and browsed on the best: as to others,
For them 'twas enough to be trampled to slime,

In poverty equal, in death only brothers.
0 glorious epoch! 0 outcome divine

Of that Spirit of Trade which sublimes our humanity !
Its heaven the Market; the Loom and the Mine

Its ladders to opulence ; all else is vanity.
To paddle one's own poor canoe might seem fun

In Trade's earlier days of competitive rivalry.
But oh ! when the Many give place to the One,

Competition must go, like good-feeling and chivalry.