Punch (95.1888)

258 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 1, 1888.

THE NEW SOCIETY CRAZE.

Tim New Governess {through her pretty nose). " Waall—I come right slick away from Nk'York City, an' I ain't had much

time for foolin' around in europe—you. bet ! So i can't fix up your gals in the Eu-ropean languages, no-how ! "

Belgravian Mamma (who knows there's a Duke or two still left in the Matrimonial Market). " Oh, that's of no consequence. I want
my Daughters to acquire the American Accent in all its purity—and the Idioms, and all that. Now I'm sure you will
do admirably!"

CRAMMING VEESUS "CLEMMING"!

A Plain Word in Season to the New School Board.

Good Gentlemen,—wise men, or wiseacres, pundits, philanthropists,
Zealots of all of the Churches, fanatics of all of the Schools,— [fools,
Mr. Punch has a word for the ears of each one of your muster, a word
Men may strive to ignore or hush down, but which sounds, and will

have to be heard ! [work ;

Mr. Punch is at one with your general aim, feels a pride in your
Tor instructing our People's a duty which none but a noodle would

shirk. [sin,
And the young human creature untaught is a shame and a promise of
And the race of our strenuous day it is not the incult who will win.
Teach, teach!—'tis the task of the Age, the imperative call of the
Which whoso ignores is a vassal to folly, a pander to crime, [time,
Manly wisdom cries fie on the bigots, the bigots of dogma or doubt,
Who babble and fight at the portal whilst ignorance lingers without,
Kept back from the threshold thrice blest of the Temple where none

should dispute, [brute.
The Temple of Knowledge humane, which upraises the man from the
The Creeds and the No-creeds contend, and negation and nescience cry
In as angry a chorus of hate as the dogmatists' furious fry,
Or the credulous bigots of Ephesus. Silence the wranglers all round,
The niggards who fume at the penny, the zealots who squander the

pound I

And look to it likewise in time, oh ye busy Bigwigs of the Board,
That the hungry, ubiquitous Jobber, whose eye is on everyone's

hoard, . [trust.
Dip not grasping fingers too deep in the purse that ye hold but in
That new Laidly Worm of Corruption trails lately in London's foul

dust [time
In a manner the idlest must mark. It were well to take warning in
By the fate of another big Board which has sunk in the Laidly One's

slime.

But grant you ail safe in your scats, hushed all partisan splutter and
spleen, [clean:

With your sapient heads pretty cool, and your strenuous hands fairly

What then P There's a question confronts you that will not be shelved
or set by, [honestly try.

Which will tax your good will and best skill, e'en supposing you

A pedagogue,—not of your sort, he preceded all Boards by some
years,—

Said Nature's a rum 'un ! " Perhaps you 're inclined to say ditto
. to Squeers ;

But Nature will not be evicted, as you, with old Hokace, will find,
And Nature has given the urchin a body as well as a mind ! [sap. !
You won't fill the latter, be sure, whilst the former is empty. Verb.
Stuff a half-starving " nipper " with isms and ologies ? Poor little

chap! [by force

Empty stomachs mean heads non-receptive, and cramming the latter
Means cruelty! Yes, and humanity bids you to halt on that course,
With an emphasis none can mistake. No, it simply too/i't do, that is

flat. _ [not stand that.

Public conscience is callous sometimes; but it's stirred, and it will
The vision of Billy and Betsy, bedraggled, and shoeless, and worn,
Without bite or sup in their stomachs, dragged in on a cold winter's

morn [precious " three ll.'s,"

From the streets, and all chance of " a job," to grind hours at those
Bises black on humanity's sight, and it jars, my dear Bigwigs, it jaTs.
If 'tis Cramming v. " Clemming," my masters, then Cramming will

go to the wall,

But Punch does not put it to-day as a hopeless dilemma at all.
Only two things have got to be reconciled,—how is a questionfor you,—
Instruction and common humanity. Teaching by Torture won't do '

Mrs. Bam, speaking of Marechal MacMahok, informed her Niece
that he was born an Irishman, but was subsequently neutralised as
a Frenchman.