Punch: Punch (101.1891)

0

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[July 4, 1891.

GENTLE SATIRE.

I say, Bill, look 'ere ! 'Ere 's a Old Cove out Record-Breaking ! "

"THE DILEMMA."

(An old Irish Story newly applied.)

[" On wMch horn of the dilemma will the Glad-
stonians elect to stand?"—Mr. Chamberlain, in
his controversy with Sir TV. Harcourt on the place
of Home Utile in the Gladstonian programme.]

Faithful Unionist Sentry, loquitur :—■

Faith ! yes, a dilemma, no doubt, is the thing

To stagger Big Bounce, in a fashion Socratic.
I fancy I know how to plant a sharp sting,

The success of my bayonet-play is emphatic.
Remember a picture I once chanced to see,

A Pompeian sentinel posed at a portal,
And "faithful to death" though fire
threatened. That's Me !

As my country's defender, my fame is
immortal.

Yes, the Sentinel's rule suits my style passing
well; [ding.
The enemy won't find me napping or nod-
But what I most like as 1 do sentry spell,
Is the fine opportunity offered for—prod-
ding !

I watch like a lynx, as a sentry should do,
"With an eye like a hawk, and a smile sweet
as syrup;

But when there's a chance for a thrust—
whirraroo !
My bayonet-point is agog for a stir up !

Joe, the Sentry, you know, like Joe JBagstoch,
is sly,

Ay, "devilish sly,"—if I may speak
profanely.

That swashbuckler H-rc-et now, swaggering
there - whv,
The big burly Bobadil 's acting insanely.

I do like to draw him. These ramparts are
mine,

But because we 're old comrades he cheeks

me. " Woa, Emma ! "
As oads used to shout. I extremely incline
To tickle him up with—a two-horned

Dilemma!

"Well, William, what cheer?" He is

struggling out there
With a—Snark; 'tis a Boojum which

shortly may vanish.
Like Frankenstein's, his is a Monster, I

fear,

He would —did he dare—be delighted to
banish.

That big " Home-Rule " Bogey, my Bobadil,
seems

A " handful" with which you are destined
to struggle,
Which darkens your days as it haunts all
your dreams;
Which you cannot get rid of by force or by
juggle.

You 're got him, you say ? Well, then, bring
him along!
Ha! ha ! Says '1 he can't ! " That's ex-
ceedingly funny !

It is very hard when your "oaptive"'s so
strong.

He won't do your bidding for love or for
money.

Like Samson he leads his Delilah a dance,
Like Pat's prisoner—all know the old
Irish story—
He won't give his captor a ghost of a chance.
Such " prisoners" do mar their conqueror's
glory.

" Well, leave him behind, then, and come on
alone ! "—

Eh! " Captive won't Zeiyou?" That's
just what I told you !
Your trophy, " Home Ride," has an incubus
grown;

He's got you, my friend, and, my faith,
he will hold you.
'Tis Paddy's Dilemma all over again,
Only you 're the true Pat. You can't take
it or leave it. [vain ;

Your triumph was futile, your struggles are
Mine's the Sentinel's eye, and you cannot
deceive it.

{Left chortling, but still "on duty.'"

"NOTHING SUCCEEDS LIKE"—
SUCCESSION ?

" Supply—Army Estimates."

General Fraser—not & phraser clearly-
Military grumbling vents sincerely ;
House won't listen, and the cruel Times
Summarised his tale of woes and crimes,
As—great Cjesar! —" a few observations.'
Tanner, always great on such occasions,
Intimates that it is his impression
Soldiers are " succeeding in succession "
In the interest of more Expense.
Well, " economists" make stir immense,
But in spite of most Draconic manner,
Hardly ever seem to save—a "tanner."
So that one is prone to think indeed.
In succession they do not—" succeed ! "

"A Legge lt."—The new Bishop of Lich-
field.