Punch / Almanack (1842)

THE LONDON BREWERY—

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i'lIKASANT shooting AND ale brewing COMMMCRS | MailtOIl's aad

Goding's barrels are primed and loaded.

19 Sbuntrap after ^rimtg.

Prince Louis napoleon is sf.nt to Ham for life—to riant.
Punch supposes, for the benefit of the common-tceu/.

PfHshooting commfncop afEton. Ingenious pnpila illustrate ti.e Round-hand '.-opy—
" Aim only atgreat and noble ends," by shooting at the tip of the. Master's nose.

Old Parr died—from having taken an overdose of his own Life
Pills.

Faith—the patron Saint of confiding Tailors.

Jinks is surprised tliat the hajam-e at hia Imnker's is all on the wronfr side. Having
eaien cut msjast cou.->vai<^>ri. and beintr a Newcastle trader, he is pressed iiuo the
rlee:.

Great Meeting of the Highland Society at Aberdeen—" There \
was sicli a-gittin up stairs, and a playing on the Scotch fiddle."

20 SptmUag after TOm'tp.

O.xf. and Camb. Michaelmas Terms begin. College geese crammed

previous to their being plucked for their " Little-goes."
Old Michaelmas day. Knowing old ganders congratulate them-

selves upon escaping the fate of the defunct green geese.
The Manchester and Leeds Railway opened—so were several

surgeons' shops, in the vicinity of the line.
Translation of K. Ed. the Confessor—said to iiavc been done

by the Dramatic Authors' Society.

China Trade opemso. Tea's no longer sloe, but sure.

Prince Joinvillh applies for the remains of Napoleon, and the
Governor of S',. Helena returns the Boney-part.

21 Slunbag afta ferurg.

Jupiter puts on his beit and goes out for a day's sport accompanied

by a few shooting stars.
Highflier died, 1793, without completing his engagements, as he

left a long race behind him.
Mercury makes a late night of it, and lets himself in with a latch

key, at ! .0 rn. after 5.
The Great Political Fog of 1030, in which Lord Brougham

lost himself.

Battle of Trafalgar. Great Sale of French and Spanish Fleet.

Lots of which were knocked down by the Biitisa
St. Domingo, becoming too hot to hold, was given uii after some

very warm work.

22 Sbuntiai) after ^rinttp.

Declarations Fiiro on Dnr.i vkrsd. A few days before the Continental steam-6okt9
(outward bonndjare very much crowded with passen^ers/Dui ihe aiimuuc oHo^t; i'o
is by no means oom mens urate*

St. Crispin. Cobblers1 wax merry ; and their stalls illuminate.

Dissolution of th-: Junta of Madrid—verdict, iC Couldn't
help it."

A Court Martial Commbncw Sitttko on John Hkktv for Futnea run CXbpkr-
down, and strange to 3av, art^r sitting on him for several days, the Indictment is
Bquashedf and not Mr. John Henty.

MOMTJUriORB is Admittrd to an Auhikxcs witk tiir Sultan, and rinds that cele-
brated Damascus blade to be one of the very finest temper.

Sir Walter Ralf.igh died. He was the father of baked-taters-
and the progenitor of pipes and 'bacca.

28 SbunUag after TOm'tp.

Tower of London burnt 1341, and Swifte (the ambitious and
careful keeper) seizes the crown of these realms.

would
be
most
absurd
to say,
That
Sol
this
month
will
shine
each
day,
With
heat
enough
the
cold
to

8tav ;

but
add,

R E M ARKS.
Directions for Lawyers.—Work in the legal garden now becomes
brisk. Levy's runners (the tall marrows) may be freely
planted in the vicinity of St. Katharine's Wharf and
the Custom House. These will of course follow the crop
of writs sown during the preceding month, if our direc-
tions have been properly attended to.

a sheriff's levy.

Sporting.—The sun of the cockney sportsman's joys is now fast fading.
Boarding-houses in Brighton still afford matrimonial anglers some
chance of success. Shy widows may be dibbed for after dinner from
behind a large pair of whiskers ; a well-dressed major—uriih a Ao»A—
will be found to be very killing. Artificial captains with real mustachios
are excellent bait for young ladies, who are almost sure to be taken il
angled for by moonlight. Should there be any disposition to run
when struck, the best tackle is a post-chaise and four, with which
they may be easily
landed at Gretna
Green. Experienced

hands in difficult
waters generally try
bobs for servants. a run-away match.

Prophetic—During this month in the palaces of Geneva mischief
and bad beer are brewing! The conjunction of quassia and salt-and-
water deal out with ruthless hand belly-aches to the fantails of the
Adelphi. Thunder and lightning prevail, and vinegar is in the ascend-
ant. A barrel of Barclay's enters the " Rising Sun ;" but by themalig-
nantinfluence of Aquarius, the brown offspring of the burly Barleycorn
grows thin and weak. The fiery vitriol
threatens the fine Old Tom. Let washer-

women beware, for the transit of the dram-
glass bodes trouble and sieknoss to the tot-
tering tattlers of the tubs, whilst the planet
Lushington points with unerring finger to

Correction's-house. the glass points to very pry.

Domestic.—Now commence correspondence with tried country-cousins
and friends, who are so delighted with your delicate attentions, that
they invariably express their gratitude through a large hamper of game
poultry, &c. Card-racks are good for a brace of hares and a pheasant
A (very small) trifle from Ramsgate, bearing the Christian name of a
spoiled child, may be set down for a turkey and chine at least. An
ornamented pen, sent to a rustic relation who cannot write, will bo
taken as a compliment, and the quill will be generally acknowledged
by a goose. A quarter's yesterday's
Times at half-price to a village poli-
tician, may be safely estimated at
a sucking-pig, a hundred of apples,
two large pots of raspberry jam, and
half a dozen bottles of mushroom
catsup.

know all mk.v by these presents

Medical.—Opening of the schools. Hospital surgeons hunt up the
lame and halt, to make a grand operating field-day for the commence-
ment of the season. New men are afraid to wash their hands down
stairs by themselves, especially if there is a subject there; and whistle
about the passage until some one goes down. Pawnbrokers rub
up their windows, and display tempting dis-
sceting-cascs at seven and sixpence. Watches
may now be seen at intervals amongst the
pupils, as well as silver lancet-cases—these
phenomena all visible for a space of time,
varying from one month to six weeks, and
] then disappear. a difficult dissection.

NEW REGULATION'S TO BE OBSERVED BY STUDENTS QUALIFYING FOR MEDICAL PRACTITIONERS.
Kvehv candidate must produce testimonials of having attended at least one ball per w eek at. the Lcwther-rooms ; and the same number of concerts at tb* Garrick's
Heiid, Eagle Tavern, or Bower Saloon ; and the examiuation will consist of the following heads :—Physiology, from the first volume of Punch ; Anatomy and
Muscular Development, from the sparring at the Conch and Horses in Frith Street ; Botany and Zoology, from the lettuces and lobsters at Knight's and Quin's
Oyster Rooms ; Chemistry and Materia Medica, from soda water, short pipes, birds'-eye, and returns ; Practical dissection from the Rupert Street dining-rooms and
Berthollini's. He must also be conversant with the contents of every &mg-book sold in Lwndon. and translate the flash ones into dog Latin, before the Court of
Examiners. The subject for the Jacksouian Prize this year at the College of Sugeons, is the inquiry " In which is the greatest portion of animal fat consumed—in tba
caudles used by the medical students to study from, or in the rush-iightu l;ft up for them at night in the passage ; and what inverse ratio do they bear to each other T