Punch / Almanack: Punch / Almanack (1843)

Av* Maius, or May, comes, according to the learned, from majores,
» thli month having been consecrated to the memory of

ih°"tor'' "

c Roman citizens.

11 fr,

But Walkerins and Hookh. Sniv. derive
chamr Magus, an enchanter; It being for the most part so en-
.. a reason. And certainly how so sweet a period could have

orn


been associated with such sour patrons as the above-named old
seu bnJJ'erii (as they were called in the latter days of the Empire), it
is difficult to eonctive. By the moderns the month is dedicated to all
sorts of fun. May is the sign of the Potential Mood: but the si/in of
May is, Gemini (!) the Twin*.

Koyai. Aoaokmy Exhibition opens. The Queen again, through Mr. Hayter, lend i
it her Countenance. Vanity Fair—great day for the Heads of Families.

Johanna consents to remain on beinsr allowed '* a follower "—names policeman A 42 j

Mother-in-law Spike says, " You'll see how it will end ! "

Eart, ov Waij>koratr and Capt. Pufk committed to Prison for an Assault on a 4
Pomckman, 1841. The Marshal, in the handsomest manner, gives tip his state j
apartments. Weippert's band in attendance every evening. Carriages set down j

With the horses' heads towards the Borough.

the British Army takeLodgings in Seringapatam,1799—having
" paid out " the former tenants.

Buonaparte dies, 1821. The Imperial Eagle has the pip.

^wits sups with "The son of Apollo," an.! comtl in with the millt In the morning. '
"phelia makes her debut in hysterica. Mother-in-law Spike " only wUhes Me was
a man !"

3 Sbuntfag after lEasttr.

Edward the Black Prince died, 1376—" the Black Reviver"
not being then invented.

Cor,umblls is able to visit America for the Fourth Time—not
having written a book upon it.

The Battle of Lodi, 1796. " The IWaid " of ditto gives the
Governor warning.

' P'ke (the traveller) sends Twits half-a-dozen of gip^er-beer, with Mi affectionate
fce^ardR, and a bill to accept for £40. Mother-in-law Spike nibs a pen, and says—

I\j ()"Jy too happy."

• »v. Morkton DyKR, a mmnlfsk* mambtratb, is struck OUT or thr Oommis-
jj®" thh Prack for communicating with a Prmonkr hilativrto mi Rklbabr,
'I* Cupidity, in the garb of Justice, proposes a partnership with Liberty.

1 apoli?on takes the wholf City of Vienna, 1809 — carries away
a better half in Maria Louisa.

4 Sbuntiaj after faster.

Tp pottmokr is appoint™ Plbnipotknttart ik China, 1841. "English "Gun-
Powder *• done up in 42lb. packets first introduced intoChineee families. 44 A liberal

On which oeca-

i ^

58

59


v* 0vv«nce made when a quantity is taken."

^aiiy Quern of Scots lands in England, 1568.

sion Rizzio brings his celebrated Scotch fiddle with him.

^T'fiYnAi*D Dint, 1H3A. Goes over from Louis-Philippe to Pluto, btrlnft ensured ft pe?-
anent situation. Received at the gates by Cerberus. N.B. Beware of the Dog*
°Pheli;

^presses a strong desire for a pine-apple and a cacWmere nhawl. Mochor-In-
«?v. piUe 8ftys "She tni * "

Victoria Paisley

nust have 'em."

Twit® compounds for new potatotc and a

Henry the Eighth's usual mode
His was a most exemplary

nna Boleyn executed, 1536.
g °f " axing " for another wife.

0s,vKll the Biographer died, 1 79o
'fe——of Johnson.

5 &untfan after IBasitr.

Pi

Railway Act passed the House of Commons, 1801. Later
Railway Acts induce a division of the Members.

JI1LC?det comes Tip from Woolwich (in dress kids), the Twitses being positively en-
's Red to g0 with him to Exeter Hall—Scipio summoned on a jury.

Ween Victoria born, 1819. A Ruler of the line of Brunswu k
^''hout a parallel.

\VeT •,^rr,, rroins. Client-hunting commences. The Old Harrytrt meet at
^ 8lTn,nster Hall, and run through a great extent of property.

the Author of the Inferno, born 1265. The devil—
^e ^vas!

brinos forwarp hi8 motion op want op CoNXTDKNCH in thr mlntstkrs,
The Minibters have confidence enough for anything, 1843.

1 &unbag afttr ^stfnsion.

,ng Charles IJ, restored, 166p —but not brought to his senses.
W "p

L 1 'tt born, 1759. The surest houcd that ever worried a
ox.

Pay!!? ""f the Pup'« lost Mother-in-law Spike advertises, that " Mr. Twits will
'' Pound reward for his recovery/*

fL'l RtlMKO

L°AST
JfiEAUTlTUl

|PUG D0C-!

lloa'e pound

.Astronomical.—There will be a total eclipse of tlv
Norma Moon on one of the Covent Garden scenes, by tin
paint-brush of Mr. Grieve, about Easter. This will be in
visible to the greater part of the universe, but plainly (lis
tinguished by a few in the scene-room. A lunar occupation
will take place about the same time at the Adelphi, from
the lamp behind the flat tumbling down. This will be visible
from all parts of the house, but scarcely discernible from
the lobby of the second boxes, or the back of the pit.

Geographical OBsrcrvA-noNS.—Cap! a in Doss, when he
visited the North Poie. to,.l: Chili on his way, and though
lie doubled the Cape, stii? felt cold about the shoulders.

Notes of the Month.—The sweeps appear in perihelion
to Jack-in-the Green on the 1st. The stars of the first mag-
nitude at the Opera may now be seen in their ereatost
brilliancy during the evening, through good glasses. The
satellites of Ccrito are visible at intervals, and Parrot np
pears in conjunction with Carlotta Grisi. The latter j lar.i t
will be at her greatest distance from the earth wtoen she
flies across the stage in Giselle.

To ascertain if Meat is Goon —Call at a friend's house
about dinner-time; accept his invitation to sit down if he
gives it, and, if not, adopt the free-and-easy principle, by
inviting yourself. Taste freely of all the things on the
table, and you will be able to form your own opinion as to
whether the meat is good.

Sentimental and Domestic—Now begin to roam through
flowery meadows with sweethearts ; whisper soft nothings,
imprint soft somethings, and breathe hard vows. Steal out
at evening hours to listen to nightingales, and meet lady-
loves by moonlight alone at groves by the ends of vales. Eat
your small salad at supper with your bread and cheese—
if you can get it: in which ease you will be lucky, con-
sidering the times.

Lkoai, Hints—If a trespasser is caught in a steel-trap,
he stands seized ; but the tenant in possession may execute
a release, that is, if he takes a sufficient interest.

If a tragedian agrees to act a character, ar<1 is hissed off
in the middle, it does not amount to a performance of his
part of the contract, but only to a part performance.
I —Morris v. Otway-

For Hearing Timber.—Get a good acorn, and plant it in
a breakfast cup ; and when it begins to open, which you can
I ascertain by scratching up the mould, you may transfer it
I to a flower-pot. Water freely with your bed room pitcher,
and directly your plant begins to show itself above the
earth you should set it in the garden Then watch your
! shrub; and if it should continue to flourish, you may trans-
j plant it when young to a forest. When it is quite large
enough, yon may cut it down for ship-building.

A Cure for Toothache.—Rush to May's Buildings. 1 olt
into the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th door on the right or left, and
j throw yourself back into a chair. Keep your mouth open,
; but take e.nre to hold your jaw—in a convenient position.
: An individual will now come to your aid with a small
instrument. Wrench, crunch, smash, crash, and ycu have
got rid of the toothache.

Artificial Asses' MiMt.—Take an rxtract from the Par-
liamentary Reports, and it will generally give you a large
quantity of a milk-and watery fluid. Strain off the water,
and what little milk may remain will most likely be arti-
ficial asses'.

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TWITS COLUMN.