DOI issue:
Punch’s Almanack for 1850
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17039#0009
tourists mn the coiwjwfiw? m the yeah of revolution:
1ft ' ! I i hotel
-4?
MICHAELMAS DAY'S BIRTH-DAY.
OX the, 29th of September, I shall descend upon the world—upon the back or a
fine fat stubble goose. The goose I shall fly in at the kitchen window, offering
the bird as sacrifice to the fireside gods. You will be sure to invite a chosen few
—or uot a few, according to the circumference of the mahogany, (I dote on a
round dinner-table)—to keep the Birth-day of Michaelmas. The house will, at an
early hour, smell like a Pagan altar with odoriferous herbs and squillffi. You I ^^,~i^-^J^MI^///^l
will after dinner give the Immortal Memory of Queen Elizabeth, as she appeared -<s£U**&~~ /Sill
at Tilbury Fort, preparatory to the cooking of the goose of the Spaniards. You A /'H^ iLiBERIE
will then, if your Pork be particularly good, in a neat speech, give the British // j'i If -ccalite.
Constitution, requesting the company to be so good as to remember what they / /^SwB^, tL«-~ i / wl /rwjERIJiTE
have escaped by the destruction of the Dons. How, at this minute, they might be lijM$S$mRk " fT-i'\ &r<
able to talk nothing better than Castilian; how Sherry might have defeated 1 J^/j^Sr*'' i'1
Barleycorn; how the national hornpipe might have given place to the fandango,
and the graceful and no less equivocal paletot for ladies have been laid upon the
Shelf by the odious mantilla. How Spanish flies might have blown in our larders,
to the destruction of the English blue-bottle; how the sweet freedom of Exeter
Hall might have knelt to the tyranny of the Inquisition; and even decent Smith tield
been turned into a place tor bull-fights. That you have escaped all these national
horrors, you owe to the tutelary genius of England, strong in a certain Michaelmas.
Tax-gatherers might have levied with the thumb-screw, and the water-rate been
enforced by the strapado. Dun" Nahvaez might have been Jack of the lied Box
at the Foreign Office, vice Viscount Palmeuston nowhere, and the English J\^'l!|tO^-^ /
3 per cents been only a shade higher than Spanish Bonds. That all this is all T\rt
otherwise, you will thank the spirit of English Michaelmas, and drink his
lusty health, and in his honour, roast Spanish chesnuts accordingly.
REGISTRATION OF BIRTHS.
When a child is born, it is necessary,
within 42 days, to give notice to god-
fathers and godmothers, what name or
names the blessed infant is to hear, that
the initials may lie duly registered in
the silver mug expected.
BREAKFAST ABROAD.
On some fine morning, the city whick
you reside in undergoing a siege, you
ring for your egg and tonsr.; instead of
which there comes a shell and a lull of
musketry.
ALLOWANCE TO WITNESSES.
For a witness who gets confused
under the bullying of a counsel.—No
allowance.
For a witness who tells the truth to
the damage of his own side.—Monkey's
allowance.
For a witness who goes any length for
those who call him.—Every allowance.
How to Find "Mean" Time.—Learn
of Molly, the maid, the time of dinner,
and always drop in at the exact
moment.
THE CLIMATE OF THE CONTINENT.
It lias lately been the complaint of
valetudinarians, who have gone abroad
for the benefit of their health, that,
betake themselves where they would,
they suffered from convulsions.
CONS. FROM THE CONTINENTAL
TROUBLES.
Why was it unfair to make the So-
cialists walk from New Orleans to
Icaria? Because they had paid their
money to Cab it (CahetJ.
P—s, the brewer, meeting the Pope,
asked his Holiness what he (P—s)
could do that he {the Pope) couldn't.
The Pope gave it up. " You can't
get into the Vat-I-can," rejoined P—s
with a witty smile.
Why are the Pope and his people
unlikely to agree ? Because they
differ on Cardinal points.
Tenancy.—If you determine to move
your goods by moonlight, it may perhaps
be desirable, for the satisfaction of the
policeman, to have about you the re-
ceipt, (bi the rent for the expired quarter.
-A!
1ft ' ! I i hotel
-4?
MICHAELMAS DAY'S BIRTH-DAY.
OX the, 29th of September, I shall descend upon the world—upon the back or a
fine fat stubble goose. The goose I shall fly in at the kitchen window, offering
the bird as sacrifice to the fireside gods. You will be sure to invite a chosen few
—or uot a few, according to the circumference of the mahogany, (I dote on a
round dinner-table)—to keep the Birth-day of Michaelmas. The house will, at an
early hour, smell like a Pagan altar with odoriferous herbs and squillffi. You I ^^,~i^-^J^MI^///^l
will after dinner give the Immortal Memory of Queen Elizabeth, as she appeared -<s£U**&~~ /Sill
at Tilbury Fort, preparatory to the cooking of the goose of the Spaniards. You A /'H^ iLiBERIE
will then, if your Pork be particularly good, in a neat speech, give the British // j'i If -ccalite.
Constitution, requesting the company to be so good as to remember what they / /^SwB^, tL«-~ i / wl /rwjERIJiTE
have escaped by the destruction of the Dons. How, at this minute, they might be lijM$S$mRk " fT-i'\ &r<
able to talk nothing better than Castilian; how Sherry might have defeated 1 J^/j^Sr*'' i'1
Barleycorn; how the national hornpipe might have given place to the fandango,
and the graceful and no less equivocal paletot for ladies have been laid upon the
Shelf by the odious mantilla. How Spanish flies might have blown in our larders,
to the destruction of the English blue-bottle; how the sweet freedom of Exeter
Hall might have knelt to the tyranny of the Inquisition; and even decent Smith tield
been turned into a place tor bull-fights. That you have escaped all these national
horrors, you owe to the tutelary genius of England, strong in a certain Michaelmas.
Tax-gatherers might have levied with the thumb-screw, and the water-rate been
enforced by the strapado. Dun" Nahvaez might have been Jack of the lied Box
at the Foreign Office, vice Viscount Palmeuston nowhere, and the English J\^'l!|tO^-^ /
3 per cents been only a shade higher than Spanish Bonds. That all this is all T\rt
otherwise, you will thank the spirit of English Michaelmas, and drink his
lusty health, and in his honour, roast Spanish chesnuts accordingly.
REGISTRATION OF BIRTHS.
When a child is born, it is necessary,
within 42 days, to give notice to god-
fathers and godmothers, what name or
names the blessed infant is to hear, that
the initials may lie duly registered in
the silver mug expected.
BREAKFAST ABROAD.
On some fine morning, the city whick
you reside in undergoing a siege, you
ring for your egg and tonsr.; instead of
which there comes a shell and a lull of
musketry.
ALLOWANCE TO WITNESSES.
For a witness who gets confused
under the bullying of a counsel.—No
allowance.
For a witness who tells the truth to
the damage of his own side.—Monkey's
allowance.
For a witness who goes any length for
those who call him.—Every allowance.
How to Find "Mean" Time.—Learn
of Molly, the maid, the time of dinner,
and always drop in at the exact
moment.
THE CLIMATE OF THE CONTINENT.
It lias lately been the complaint of
valetudinarians, who have gone abroad
for the benefit of their health, that,
betake themselves where they would,
they suffered from convulsions.
CONS. FROM THE CONTINENTAL
TROUBLES.
Why was it unfair to make the So-
cialists walk from New Orleans to
Icaria? Because they had paid their
money to Cab it (CahetJ.
P—s, the brewer, meeting the Pope,
asked his Holiness what he (P—s)
could do that he {the Pope) couldn't.
The Pope gave it up. " You can't
get into the Vat-I-can," rejoined P—s
with a witty smile.
Why are the Pope and his people
unlikely to agree ? Because they
differ on Cardinal points.
Tenancy.—If you determine to move
your goods by moonlight, it may perhaps
be desirable, for the satisfaction of the
policeman, to have about you the re-
ceipt, (bi the rent for the expired quarter.
-A!