Punch / Almanack (1855)

PUNCH’S ALMANACK FOR 1855

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Conundrum by our Butcher Boy.—When may a gate be
said to have adopted the moustache movement? —When it s a
hairy gate, to be sure

Indeclinable Articles.—A boy will decline a substantive,
an adjective, or a pronoun: but he will never decline a blow-
out at the pastry-cook’s.

CRACKERS FOR CHRISTMAS PARTIES.

It is not Sir David Wilkie’s palette that is preserved on ;
his statue at the National Gallery, but his palate. The latter
is in far better taste than the former.

The Dunmow Flitch of Bacon is all gammon.

The person commemorated on the 5th of November is the
Duke of Guise.

The Pope makes his best Canons at the billiard-table.

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A MUSTARD-SEED FABLE.

Timeous.— Mr. Eighteenfiftyfive went to the Stream of
Time to fish. “What do you bait for?” askedold Edax Rerum.
“ I’m fishing for yesterday.” “ Well,” said Time, “ although
the stream swarms with such fry, still, yesterday’s a fish that
was never caught.” Moral—Buy Mr Punch's Almanack to-
day ; for to-morrow it may be out of print; vanished with the
irrevocable yesterday

THE POSITION OF THE EYES IN MAN.

A sagacious old gentleman remarks liow fortunate it is that
our eies do not project like tho'-e of some animals, for if
they did, what a number of hoys we should see making faces
at us behind our backs !

Hint to Householders. — Honesty may be
policy ; but the next best is a policy of Assurance.

the best

An Infallible Specific.—A Patent Medicine Vendor ad-
vertises pills and an ointment that will cure the worst fit of
any pair of boots.

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