DOI issue:
Punch's Almanack for 1857
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17034#0011
PUNCH'S ALMANACK *0K 1857.
Moral for good Young Men.—He that
oes to a tea-meeting, will probably drink
tea with more spoons than one.
Advice to John Bull.—Whenever the
ETIQUETTE FOR EVENING
PARTIES.
Recollect, punctuality is the soul of
eve/ring parties. Be careful therefore
always to arrive to a moment at the time
you are invited for. If the hour be not
specified, as is occasionally the case, it is
considered good breeding to call the day
before and make inquiry of the servant.
Your conduct in the supper-room must
depend on circumstances. If it be a half-
stand-up affair, ladies' business first and
gentlemen's pleasure j'terwards, you will
be expected during the first part to do duty
of course as an amateur waiter; when,
unless you practise well beforehand, you
will no doubt contrive to cover yourself
with jelly and confusion. But if the repast
be a sit-down-all-together one, you may eat
and drink in comfort, if you only take care
not to have a lady next you : otherwise of
course you'll have to minister to her wants
instead of satisfying your own.
In taking.your departure, don't forget to
make an offer of your thanks for the
pleasant evening you have spent; and if
von then proceed to shake hands all round
with such of the guests as mav remain,
you will do much to confirm the favour-
able impression which your previous be-
haviour will doubtless have produced. In
fact if you act strictly in accordance with
the advice that we have given, you will
soon be esteemed quite an acquisition to
society; and in short, to use the language ot
the advertisers, no evening party will be
thought complete without you.
MORAL FOR NOVEMBER.
November comes blindfold with mist and
with fog,
And the year is approaching its term.
Thus along, on Life's journey, we all of us
jog,
Whilst " the early bird picks up the
worm."
3>t. Jctinp—St. Jenny was wedded to a
very poor man; they had scarcely bread to
keep them; hut Jexnt was of so sweet a
temper that even want bore a bright face,
and Jenny always smiled. In the worst
seasons Jenny would spare crumbs for the
birds, and sugar for the bees. Now it so
happened that one autumn storm rent their
cot in twenty places apart; when behold
between the joists from the basement to the
roof there was nothing bnt honey-comb and
honey. A little fortune for St. Jenny and
her husband in honey. Now some said it
was the bees, but more declared it was the
sweet temper of St. Jenny that had filled
the poor man's house with honey.
Aquarius gets into the head of a dis-
tinguished teetotaler; who is taken up for
an insane attempt to garotte the parish
pump. The teetotaler is haled out.
Happiness in the Sick-Room. — Ob-
jection has been made to the statement that
such an one enjoys bad health. The fault
lies, not in the phrase, but in its applica-
tion. There is a class of men who live in
the constant enjoyment of bad health;
they are not, however, the patients but the
doctors. •
Comfort for the Corpulent.—No man
can think small beer ot himself when he
is well aware that he is stout.
Agricultural Education. — Perhaps
landlords and farmers are not sufficiently
French excite your bile, remember that ~n MBW"V IIIM ^1 , '.......~ "l| il |ljL$W| alive to the importance of cultivating the
they are your mercurial neighbours. ^^^BBafiUliMltfflMHrii ^^BWaffllB ^* iKT^" ^^^^^S^g""-:^^^. l j> fmvTjSsSE clod
Apology for the Fifth of November.
—The boys who carry Guv Fawkes about
are not idle. They perambulate the streets
with an object.
Papal Orthodoxy.— When the Pope
distriButes confectionary his Holiness pro-
ceeds most strictly in accordance with the
canons of the Council of Nice.
Security for Customers.—Give trades-
men a Classical education, and perhaps
they will learn not to make false quantities.
Allowable Swearing.—The best thing
that a Miner can take when he goes down
into a pit, is to take his Davy.
Proverb by an Entomologist.—Hooey
for the bee ; whacks tor the wasp.
iiomozopathy for the healthy. — Il
you have nothing the matter with you
take infinitesimally less than nothing. DELICIOUS !
Poetry in the City—Oil Lord Mayors p„rly jn Bed „ Hft , HoLlo! Wh0 >s that? -
day a Common Councilman composes an DovUstic. " If you please, Sir, it's Seven o'clock, Sir! Your Shower Bath is quite
Ode on the Return ot the Swallow. ready. i've .tost Broken the ICE, Sir ! "
WHEN IT IS VERY FOGGY IN LONDON, IT IS DELIGHTFUL AT BRIGHTON—AT LEAST SO CHARLES AND GEORG1NA THINK.
Moral for good Young Men.—He that
oes to a tea-meeting, will probably drink
tea with more spoons than one.
Advice to John Bull.—Whenever the
ETIQUETTE FOR EVENING
PARTIES.
Recollect, punctuality is the soul of
eve/ring parties. Be careful therefore
always to arrive to a moment at the time
you are invited for. If the hour be not
specified, as is occasionally the case, it is
considered good breeding to call the day
before and make inquiry of the servant.
Your conduct in the supper-room must
depend on circumstances. If it be a half-
stand-up affair, ladies' business first and
gentlemen's pleasure j'terwards, you will
be expected during the first part to do duty
of course as an amateur waiter; when,
unless you practise well beforehand, you
will no doubt contrive to cover yourself
with jelly and confusion. But if the repast
be a sit-down-all-together one, you may eat
and drink in comfort, if you only take care
not to have a lady next you : otherwise of
course you'll have to minister to her wants
instead of satisfying your own.
In taking.your departure, don't forget to
make an offer of your thanks for the
pleasant evening you have spent; and if
von then proceed to shake hands all round
with such of the guests as mav remain,
you will do much to confirm the favour-
able impression which your previous be-
haviour will doubtless have produced. In
fact if you act strictly in accordance with
the advice that we have given, you will
soon be esteemed quite an acquisition to
society; and in short, to use the language ot
the advertisers, no evening party will be
thought complete without you.
MORAL FOR NOVEMBER.
November comes blindfold with mist and
with fog,
And the year is approaching its term.
Thus along, on Life's journey, we all of us
jog,
Whilst " the early bird picks up the
worm."
3>t. Jctinp—St. Jenny was wedded to a
very poor man; they had scarcely bread to
keep them; hut Jexnt was of so sweet a
temper that even want bore a bright face,
and Jenny always smiled. In the worst
seasons Jenny would spare crumbs for the
birds, and sugar for the bees. Now it so
happened that one autumn storm rent their
cot in twenty places apart; when behold
between the joists from the basement to the
roof there was nothing bnt honey-comb and
honey. A little fortune for St. Jenny and
her husband in honey. Now some said it
was the bees, but more declared it was the
sweet temper of St. Jenny that had filled
the poor man's house with honey.
Aquarius gets into the head of a dis-
tinguished teetotaler; who is taken up for
an insane attempt to garotte the parish
pump. The teetotaler is haled out.
Happiness in the Sick-Room. — Ob-
jection has been made to the statement that
such an one enjoys bad health. The fault
lies, not in the phrase, but in its applica-
tion. There is a class of men who live in
the constant enjoyment of bad health;
they are not, however, the patients but the
doctors. •
Comfort for the Corpulent.—No man
can think small beer ot himself when he
is well aware that he is stout.
Agricultural Education. — Perhaps
landlords and farmers are not sufficiently
French excite your bile, remember that ~n MBW"V IIIM ^1 , '.......~ "l| il |ljL$W| alive to the importance of cultivating the
they are your mercurial neighbours. ^^^BBafiUliMltfflMHrii ^^BWaffllB ^* iKT^" ^^^^^S^g""-:^^^. l j> fmvTjSsSE clod
Apology for the Fifth of November.
—The boys who carry Guv Fawkes about
are not idle. They perambulate the streets
with an object.
Papal Orthodoxy.— When the Pope
distriButes confectionary his Holiness pro-
ceeds most strictly in accordance with the
canons of the Council of Nice.
Security for Customers.—Give trades-
men a Classical education, and perhaps
they will learn not to make false quantities.
Allowable Swearing.—The best thing
that a Miner can take when he goes down
into a pit, is to take his Davy.
Proverb by an Entomologist.—Hooey
for the bee ; whacks tor the wasp.
iiomozopathy for the healthy. — Il
you have nothing the matter with you
take infinitesimally less than nothing. DELICIOUS !
Poetry in the City—Oil Lord Mayors p„rly jn Bed „ Hft , HoLlo! Wh0 >s that? -
day a Common Councilman composes an DovUstic. " If you please, Sir, it's Seven o'clock, Sir! Your Shower Bath is quite
Ode on the Return ot the Swallow. ready. i've .tost Broken the ICE, Sir ! "
WHEN IT IS VERY FOGGY IN LONDON, IT IS DELIGHTFUL AT BRIGHTON—AT LEAST SO CHARLES AND GEORG1NA THINK.