DOI issue:
Punch’s Almanack for 1867
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17024#0005
PUNCH’S ALMANACK FOR 1867.
l£v ‘‘Take’ Immensely! Such Larks, too, sometimes! Why, the other Evening, at Rehearsal, when the Parson (he’s our Conductor) said he’d unfortunately
Forgotten his A-fork—his Tuning-fork—Little Joe Bilbury, one ok our ‘Firsts,’ said ms ‘Feyther’ had one, and Started off and Brought it!”
%T
SENSATION DRAMA.
ACT I.
r<* The mett Tunnel. Euler I
ij, h Dudleiqh.
^ £.Sleigh. At last Ha!
^ e>* Maximilian, with a torch.
% > °gether! We will fly!
:ab^eus Mackenzie, in his dressing-
gown.
Fh®Ver • With life ! or without if'
^«ver!
die!
^(‘ItLIan applies his torch to a crack
jfr t!i,e wall, sets tthe Thames on fire.
Shopkeepers rush out, and
l^e altitudes. Flames. Tableau.
L
ACT II.
^ t'he Horizon. Enter Sailors. Dick
’W« . steering.
Yarely ! Yeo ho ! Merrily
A. Belay!
bores a hole in the boat. It sinks.
H
..
‘W t^ici B«lay!
. 1'K, bores a Ao«,
Perish all proofs of my guilt.
I yenQ'*)0ut> and is picked up after several
^ ACT III.
ju?cipi^^ddhist Temple, surrounded by
an<l Avalanches. Enter Tyrolese
Enter all the characters climbing
fKVf,r* c°mers. Re enter all the Cliarac-
(*o <C PTevi°us Acts.
Dudleiqh). And if our kind
ihiYht will only pardon this unwar-
K.V cr,l«ion then-
\>fe»' Jv
dh • ^ °K (with his beard growing),
b
^ ou*‘ °f avalanche. Moun-
TernJiOrrents run up the sides of the
^ei?. The Precipices fall down
°Wn heights. Everything gives
8° does Maximilian, who weeps.
pOcQ He disappears, leaving only his
^ '^pdkechief Tableau of one
'handkerchief and ruins.
'k v _
vW^Aqqt
\v hoi j • Ton’s Advice to a Wife.—
VV>^?efence.
SELF-RESPECT-
The Missus. “ On, Jem, you said you’d Give me >.^tjr Photero*arf. Now,
let’s go in, and get it done.”
Jem. “Oh, I nessay ! an’ ’ave my ‘Carte be Wisf.te’ stuoC XI the
Winder along o’ all these ’ere Bally-Gals an’ ’Ioh-Church Parso3S! No,
Sairey!” _*_
HORTICULTURAL HINTS FOR EVERY-
BODY AND ALWAYS.
Cultivate acquaintances, if desirable; if
not, cut them.
Never sow the Seeds of Dissension.
Weed your Library.
Invest in Stocks.
Get as much Heart’s-ease as you can.
Fern-giowers don’t he too tierce in your
rivalry : remember the Wars of the Frond(e).
Attend to Wallflowei-s and trim Coxcombs.
Emulate the Cucumber—be cool.
Beware of Auricula(r) confession.
Don't Peach.
Avoid Flowers of Speech.
Pot—a lot of money on race-courscs.
“ Bedding-out ” is good for Plants, but not
for friends.
Take the advice of the Sage, or you may
Rue the coi sequences.
Ladies ! Success to tho great Rose show—
on your checks, and may you always be Eye-
bright ! (N. B. Never pay your bets in Fox-
gloves.) '
A DIALOGUE.
A. (who talks fine, to B. in love). I hope your
Suit is progressing favourably.
B. (matter-of-fact Man). Thank you, the
tailor has promised to finish it by Saturday.
A distinguished divine states that there I
has been a great deal of confession this last |
year. We hope so, for there has been a great
number of marriages, each of which should
have been preceded by the only confession
Mr. Punch tolerates—a confession of love
An Appropriate Offering.—A Printseller j
wishing to give the lady to whom he was en- 11;
gaged some Proofs of his affection, presented ;
her with several choice Engravings.
Historical Fact.—According to the Lady j j
of Shalott, vegetarianism is as old as the
Crusades, for they had a Salad-in those days.
Etiquette.—A young lady who permits a
kiss, should imitate the British cabman, who
on most occasions gives his cheek.
Toast. — May the tear of sensibility be
wiped by the pockethandkerchief of common
Sense. [
- "—A
Aik. (b)
l£v ‘‘Take’ Immensely! Such Larks, too, sometimes! Why, the other Evening, at Rehearsal, when the Parson (he’s our Conductor) said he’d unfortunately
Forgotten his A-fork—his Tuning-fork—Little Joe Bilbury, one ok our ‘Firsts,’ said ms ‘Feyther’ had one, and Started off and Brought it!”
%T
SENSATION DRAMA.
ACT I.
r<* The mett Tunnel. Euler I
ij, h Dudleiqh.
^ £.Sleigh. At last Ha!
^ e>* Maximilian, with a torch.
% > °gether! We will fly!
:ab^eus Mackenzie, in his dressing-
gown.
Fh®Ver • With life ! or without if'
^«ver!
die!
^(‘ItLIan applies his torch to a crack
jfr t!i,e wall, sets tthe Thames on fire.
Shopkeepers rush out, and
l^e altitudes. Flames. Tableau.
L
ACT II.
^ t'he Horizon. Enter Sailors. Dick
’W« . steering.
Yarely ! Yeo ho ! Merrily
A. Belay!
bores a hole in the boat. It sinks.
H
..
‘W t^ici B«lay!
. 1'K, bores a Ao«,
Perish all proofs of my guilt.
I yenQ'*)0ut> and is picked up after several
^ ACT III.
ju?cipi^^ddhist Temple, surrounded by
an<l Avalanches. Enter Tyrolese
Enter all the characters climbing
fKVf,r* c°mers. Re enter all the Cliarac-
(*o <C PTevi°us Acts.
Dudleiqh). And if our kind
ihiYht will only pardon this unwar-
K.V cr,l«ion then-
\>fe»' Jv
dh • ^ °K (with his beard growing),
b
^ ou*‘ °f avalanche. Moun-
TernJiOrrents run up the sides of the
^ei?. The Precipices fall down
°Wn heights. Everything gives
8° does Maximilian, who weeps.
pOcQ He disappears, leaving only his
^ '^pdkechief Tableau of one
'handkerchief and ruins.
'k v _
vW^Aqqt
\v hoi j • Ton’s Advice to a Wife.—
VV>^?efence.
SELF-RESPECT-
The Missus. “ On, Jem, you said you’d Give me >.^tjr Photero*arf. Now,
let’s go in, and get it done.”
Jem. “Oh, I nessay ! an’ ’ave my ‘Carte be Wisf.te’ stuoC XI the
Winder along o’ all these ’ere Bally-Gals an’ ’Ioh-Church Parso3S! No,
Sairey!” _*_
HORTICULTURAL HINTS FOR EVERY-
BODY AND ALWAYS.
Cultivate acquaintances, if desirable; if
not, cut them.
Never sow the Seeds of Dissension.
Weed your Library.
Invest in Stocks.
Get as much Heart’s-ease as you can.
Fern-giowers don’t he too tierce in your
rivalry : remember the Wars of the Frond(e).
Attend to Wallflowei-s and trim Coxcombs.
Emulate the Cucumber—be cool.
Beware of Auricula(r) confession.
Don't Peach.
Avoid Flowers of Speech.
Pot—a lot of money on race-courscs.
“ Bedding-out ” is good for Plants, but not
for friends.
Take the advice of the Sage, or you may
Rue the coi sequences.
Ladies ! Success to tho great Rose show—
on your checks, and may you always be Eye-
bright ! (N. B. Never pay your bets in Fox-
gloves.) '
A DIALOGUE.
A. (who talks fine, to B. in love). I hope your
Suit is progressing favourably.
B. (matter-of-fact Man). Thank you, the
tailor has promised to finish it by Saturday.
A distinguished divine states that there I
has been a great deal of confession this last |
year. We hope so, for there has been a great
number of marriages, each of which should
have been preceded by the only confession
Mr. Punch tolerates—a confession of love
An Appropriate Offering.—A Printseller j
wishing to give the lady to whom he was en- 11;
gaged some Proofs of his affection, presented ;
her with several choice Engravings.
Historical Fact.—According to the Lady j j
of Shalott, vegetarianism is as old as the
Crusades, for they had a Salad-in those days.
Etiquette.—A young lady who permits a
kiss, should imitate the British cabman, who
on most occasions gives his cheek.
Toast. — May the tear of sensibility be
wiped by the pockethandkerchief of common
Sense. [
- "—A
Aik. (b)