Punch / Almanack (1871)

PUNCH'S ALMANACK FOE 1871.

THE RESTRAINTS OF SOCIETY

Juvenile Bohemian. "'Hate goin' out to Tea. ! 'Have to be Good such a Precious Long Time ! !'

A SONG FOR SPRING.

(By a Mam. of Feeling.)

How cheerful along the gay meads
The primrose and daisy appear !
And while on lamb cutlet he feeds,

Man is glad that the Spi ingtirne is here ! a ygar

Maxim for Manxland.—" The proper study of mankind
is Man."

•Experience Teaches.—A bachelor friend compares a
shirt button to life, because it so often hangs by a thread.

Proverbial Fallacy.—Waste not. want not—Bosh. One
may never waste a candle's end, and yet want a thuusaud

A SONG FOR SUMMER

(By a Rural. Philosopher.)

Tis sweet the lazy hours to slay,
Reclining 'mid the new-mown hay:
'Tis sweet to smoke the pensive pipe,
And think that s rawbemes are ripe.

LANGUAGE OF
FLOWERS.
Jburv.-Now flowers the
spinas Rose, otherwise called
i Black Hellebore, Helleborus
P "Calumny." Just so. It
Mt'of that colour; nothing
met like a nigger as a Coal
ilk Rose.

ftBiuw.-First, up peeps
i Snowdrop, then the Crocus,
'"top, "Refinement." Cro-
s, " Abuse not." Omnibus
Actors and Cabmen, stick
«i a your button-holes.
»«H.-The Anemone blooms.
j»t»e emblem of " Sickness."
F Anemone; means Wind
wir.

j $1'' ,lli:IL,rInmead"ws you may

pImtST'o^^ "pa-

1 C»,°^ B« it is no fault
mkckCuckoo that the hen
7e'«gg8 in another bird's
flace his flower, dears,
***** table fur Papa

tefcl • te c"mes d°wn

dined out.
Whit", m Hawtaom puts
WWossoms. "Hope.-'
itivinVn 0 Hawtbom bloom
JrJ ^ Flowers.
^^lle-"^try. »

^oM^ „Ri«-" Am-
jg.of Love." Employ a

^T~ftffleni?tis-''Mental

iflS? vo« ™ 0W'in snowery
I « C^i1^ the accu-
»«ttcr;.Pi Shepherd's Ba-

TO »f Jam. ^ ,tum the
*o?a,mn«;„.after

Michaelmas you can gather the
Michaelmas Daisy—" Cheerful-
ness in Old Age." Make a chap-
let of it for your grumbling old
Uncle.

November. — The month for
Chrysanthemums Red, " I
love." White, "Truth." Yellow,
" Slighted Love." Weave the
three into a garland for a Philo-
sopher who has been jilted.

Dechmber. - Holly means
" Foresight"—Mistlctje," Obsta-
cles to be overcome." Surmount
Mistletoe with Holly.

Hostess. "I'll Introduce yotj to a charming Partner—Mr Trimmles, Miss Muddleworth." (In a
whisper to Mm.) "So Clever! Wrote that Capital Article on ijpontaneous Cerebrosit.y in the last

TERRIBLE SITUATION.

Introduce you
" So Clever ! \

•Sixth-Monthly ! i

Ecclesiastical Proprieties.—
"I am," said a r«verend Rector
of the old school to a Ritualist
Curate, "a martyr to the Gout."
" Pardon me. my dear Sir," re-
plied the latter, "happiiy you
still survive. You should not
call yourself a Martyr, but a Con-
fessor."

Turning the Tables.—In the
present age of enlightenment
and econqmy billiard tabhs are
manufactured to serve as dining-
tables also. If you happen to sit
down as a guest at one of these,
remember the good old injunc- ■
tion—Eat all, but pocket none.

Naval Intelligence.—Land-
lubbers may be informed thut
the nautical experiment of Box-
ing the Compass is usually at-
tempted upon the Spar deck.

A Poor Performer.—In the
concert of birds the domestic
fowl plays but a humble part-
only supplying the drum sticks. ','

Proverb for a Shower.—
Half a parasol is better than
no' umbrella. /

Volumes of Smoke.—From a
Library on Fire.