DOI Heft:
Punch's Almanack for 1872
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17047#0003
PUNCH'S ALMANACK FOE 1872.
FAVOURITE AUTHORS.
The Wise Man's . Le Sage.
The Fishmonger's . Cbjvbbk, Sprat, and
WlNCKELMANN.
The Entomologist's . Wormius.
The Quaker's . . De Thou, j
The Blunderer's . Muller.
The Cabman's . . Voiture.
The Schoolmaster's . Birch.
The Stonemason's . Porphyry.
The Footman's . L'Abb6 La PluCHE.
The Centenarian's . Macrobius.
The Soldier's . . Martial.
The Poet's . . . Rymer.
The Doctor's . . Akenside and Steele.
The Engine-driver's . Speed.
The Poulterer's . Duck and Hare.
The Dandy's . . Smart.
Nobody's . . . Duns.
Everybody's . . Punch!
AN AUTHOR'S P.S.
Do not think that my Recording Angel set
a precedent in blotting out that record with
a tear. He has since bought spectacles,
which prevent his tears from falling down,
and which enable him to write even more
legibly.—Lawrence Sterne.
Misprinted Moral.—A good memory is
a good thing. A good forgetfulness some-
times a better. A poor poet received a
bank-note the day after he had declared at
dinner that he could not remember the
source ©f a line a rich guest was unable to
trace. Yet the line was the wise poet's own.
A Civic Dream.—An Alderman of London
went to sleep, and dreamt that be had been
made Lord Mayor and knighted. His Wor-
ship had eaten more than was good for him
at supper, and had the Nightmare.
"OURS."
Our Gardener wears his hat in a Rakish
manner.
Our Coachman prides himself on his erect
bearing—his Carriage is perfect.
Our Footman's tastes are martial—he loves
the smell of Powder.
Our Butler can do the> BotHe-triek.
Our Groom has a Horse-laugh.
Our Dairy-maid will have her own Whey.
Our Miller is Mealy-mouthed.
Our Milkman Skims the paper.
Our Butcher has settled a handsome
Jointure on his daughter.
Our Waiter is the Coming Man.
APRIL.
1st. Happy Thought.—Provide for a rainy
day. Goupt' any one and say, " Beg pardon,
X tciink you 'vegotmy umbrella." Rather than
dispute the point, he is sure to give it you.
3rd. Happy Thought.—" Dividends due at
ti e Bank." Call and ask for some.
29th. Happy Thought (for rainy month).—
" Society oi IFaier-Cokurs opens."
S. r.5h.37m
TnlS. s.6h 33m
VV Oxf.K.T.b.
I'll AmiiroHehp
K jCam.E.T.b.
S OXady-iiay
7 |S L«w Snnd.
111 SiVOlia
Vulgar Error.—Some people are strangely
wont to confound the followers of Mahomet
with those of Canon Kingsley. As though
they imagined that the Mussulmans were
professors of Muscular Christianity, they call
them Musclemen.
Desperate Attempt.—A member of the
Stock Exchange declared that he could not
live in Suffolk. Asked why, he said he was
sure he should die of suffocation.
Sentiment for March.—May the School
Boards advance the March of Intellect !
Sentiment for April.—May there be no [is
fools but on the First ! i16
Tu Opie d.
W Hiizlitt b.
Til Canning b
~ Young d.
s (Bradbury b.
S :2 s af.Ka..
M E.I. T. btg.
Tu Buffon d.
Dr. Watts quoted to a Masculine Female energetic
about the Rights of Women. — " How I wonder what
you are! "
On a "Boots" at a Hotel.—He does not shine him-
self, but he is the cause of brilliancy in others.
Impending Change.—When the Teetotallers get the
upper hand, they intend to reform the Zodiac. With its
objectionable Signs—the Ram, the Bull, the Lion, &c.—
they consider that it has far too much of a Public-house
aspect. Aquarius will, of course, be retained on the esta-
blishment.
EXPRESSIVE LINE.
-"And wail'd about with mews."
Tennyson.
Evidently, the Poet Laureate, at some time or other, has
lived in a neighbourhood infested with cats.
MUSIC AT HOME.
Mrs. Lyons Chacer. "How Cruel of you to Get up so Suddenly, dear Mr. Rumbeltumski ! Is anything Wrong with the Piano?"
Herr Rumbeltumski [with pardonable severity). "No, Matam, but i vos Avraid dat I inderrubted de general Gonferzation !"
Mrs. Lyons Chacer. " O dear no ! Not at all ! ! Pray go on ! ! ! "
FAVOURITE AUTHORS.
The Wise Man's . Le Sage.
The Fishmonger's . Cbjvbbk, Sprat, and
WlNCKELMANN.
The Entomologist's . Wormius.
The Quaker's . . De Thou, j
The Blunderer's . Muller.
The Cabman's . . Voiture.
The Schoolmaster's . Birch.
The Stonemason's . Porphyry.
The Footman's . L'Abb6 La PluCHE.
The Centenarian's . Macrobius.
The Soldier's . . Martial.
The Poet's . . . Rymer.
The Doctor's . . Akenside and Steele.
The Engine-driver's . Speed.
The Poulterer's . Duck and Hare.
The Dandy's . . Smart.
Nobody's . . . Duns.
Everybody's . . Punch!
AN AUTHOR'S P.S.
Do not think that my Recording Angel set
a precedent in blotting out that record with
a tear. He has since bought spectacles,
which prevent his tears from falling down,
and which enable him to write even more
legibly.—Lawrence Sterne.
Misprinted Moral.—A good memory is
a good thing. A good forgetfulness some-
times a better. A poor poet received a
bank-note the day after he had declared at
dinner that he could not remember the
source ©f a line a rich guest was unable to
trace. Yet the line was the wise poet's own.
A Civic Dream.—An Alderman of London
went to sleep, and dreamt that be had been
made Lord Mayor and knighted. His Wor-
ship had eaten more than was good for him
at supper, and had the Nightmare.
"OURS."
Our Gardener wears his hat in a Rakish
manner.
Our Coachman prides himself on his erect
bearing—his Carriage is perfect.
Our Footman's tastes are martial—he loves
the smell of Powder.
Our Butler can do the> BotHe-triek.
Our Groom has a Horse-laugh.
Our Dairy-maid will have her own Whey.
Our Miller is Mealy-mouthed.
Our Milkman Skims the paper.
Our Butcher has settled a handsome
Jointure on his daughter.
Our Waiter is the Coming Man.
APRIL.
1st. Happy Thought.—Provide for a rainy
day. Goupt' any one and say, " Beg pardon,
X tciink you 'vegotmy umbrella." Rather than
dispute the point, he is sure to give it you.
3rd. Happy Thought.—" Dividends due at
ti e Bank." Call and ask for some.
29th. Happy Thought (for rainy month).—
" Society oi IFaier-Cokurs opens."
S. r.5h.37m
TnlS. s.6h 33m
VV Oxf.K.T.b.
I'll AmiiroHehp
K jCam.E.T.b.
S OXady-iiay
7 |S L«w Snnd.
111 SiVOlia
Vulgar Error.—Some people are strangely
wont to confound the followers of Mahomet
with those of Canon Kingsley. As though
they imagined that the Mussulmans were
professors of Muscular Christianity, they call
them Musclemen.
Desperate Attempt.—A member of the
Stock Exchange declared that he could not
live in Suffolk. Asked why, he said he was
sure he should die of suffocation.
Sentiment for March.—May the School
Boards advance the March of Intellect !
Sentiment for April.—May there be no [is
fools but on the First ! i16
Tu Opie d.
W Hiizlitt b.
Til Canning b
~ Young d.
s (Bradbury b.
S :2 s af.Ka..
M E.I. T. btg.
Tu Buffon d.
Dr. Watts quoted to a Masculine Female energetic
about the Rights of Women. — " How I wonder what
you are! "
On a "Boots" at a Hotel.—He does not shine him-
self, but he is the cause of brilliancy in others.
Impending Change.—When the Teetotallers get the
upper hand, they intend to reform the Zodiac. With its
objectionable Signs—the Ram, the Bull, the Lion, &c.—
they consider that it has far too much of a Public-house
aspect. Aquarius will, of course, be retained on the esta-
blishment.
EXPRESSIVE LINE.
-"And wail'd about with mews."
Tennyson.
Evidently, the Poet Laureate, at some time or other, has
lived in a neighbourhood infested with cats.
MUSIC AT HOME.
Mrs. Lyons Chacer. "How Cruel of you to Get up so Suddenly, dear Mr. Rumbeltumski ! Is anything Wrong with the Piano?"
Herr Rumbeltumski [with pardonable severity). "No, Matam, but i vos Avraid dat I inderrubted de general Gonferzation !"
Mrs. Lyons Chacer. " O dear no ! Not at all ! ! Pray go on ! ! ! "