rne.jeiiiber 17, 187 i.

OX THE HILLS.

Deer Stalker (Old Hand, and fond of it). " Isn't it exciting ! ? Keep Cooi. ! "

[Junts isn't wed to it, and, not having moved/or the last half-hoar, Jus excitement has worn nff. He's wet through, and sinkingj ast in the Boggy Ground, and speechless ■with Cold. So

he doesn't answer.

NATURAL HISTORY OF THE PAST
YEAR.

Butterflies were broken on wheels.

Cats looked at kings.

Cricketers made ducks' eggs.

Little birds whispered in the ear.

A good many mares'-nests were dis-
covered.

People smelt a rat.

Others were still as a mouse.

Others plucked crows.

Others took " rooks."

Birds of a feather flocked together.

Puppies and dull dogs were asnumerous
as ever.

Cucumbers maintained their usual
coolness.

Unsuccessful attempts were again made
to put salt on birds' tails, to catch weasels
asleep, and to introduce pigeons' milk.

The British Lion had a strong dose of
"Geneva " administered to him.

THE ANGLER'S CATCH.

The fly is on the water,
The fish are in the creel.

For caught by whipping trout are,
But you can't so catch an eel.

There was a Young Lady of Norwood,
Who chattered just like a macaw would,

Her Ma said. " In vain

Do I try to stop Jane ;
P'raps a husband who kept her in awe,
would."

A Scientific Want.—We have statics
and hydrostatics, pneumatics and rheu-
matics ; but none of these exactly repre-
sent the feelings of young ladies, when
they see a new bonnet or a new baby, or
hear of another ball or a fresh party—
this is Ecstatics!

Moral For the Month.—Midsummer
is apr, to be attended with thunderstorms.
The highest points are. thus- wbich most
attract the electric fluid. The bolt which
strikes the palace spares the pigstye.
Hrumnk !

Rude Thing. —To take out your watch
during the sermon.

Ruder Thing.—To take yourself out
during that discourse.

THE ARCHERY MEETING.

Curate [to Fair Stranger). " I perceive you are not a Toxophilite ! "
Fair Stranger {promptly). " Oh dear no ! 'Church of England,' I assure you

WORK OF THE PAST YEAR

Airing French.
Building castles in the air.
Chopping logic.
Cracking jokes.
Cleansing Augean stables.
Cutting and drying.
Fencing questions.
Hedging bets.
Imprinting kisses.
Knitting brows.
Nursing omnibuses.
Putting shou ders to wheels.
Scouring the country.
Skinning flints.
Sowing wild oats.
Reaping the consequences.
Splitting hairs.
Ventilating grievances.
Wading through books.
Wool gathering.
Spinning yarns.
Cheeseparing.
Trimming.

t !'

GARDENING NOTES.

A Tidy sort of a Tree is a Spruce Fir.
Gra^s that can't be expected to grow
straight is evidently Rye-Grass.

There was a Young Lady called Ethel,
Who, lisping, to Cecil said, " Thethil !
In rain, hail, or freeze,
I'm for Church, if you please,
But I cannot abide Little Bethel."

October 2.— Pheasant-eating begins.

November 2.—St. Cecilia's Bay. A
Monster Concert is given by the Amal-
gam ated Organ-Grinders, Scotch Bag-
pipers, Street Baited Singers, and
Nigger Minstrels of London.

There was a stout Bishop of Venice,
Who, when he had finished at tennis,
In pontiflcalibvs
Ran out t > hail a bus-
Then a new feature at Venice.

Devotion to Science —Our friend,
Wylde Flowers, is *n enthusiastic natu-
ralist His wife has lately presented
him with twin daughters. He has called
them Flora and Fauna.