Punch / Almanack (1880)

December 12,1879.3

PUNCH’S ALMANACK FOR 1880

MOTTOES

— Drink at the

FREELY TRANSLATED, AND
EASILY APPLIED.

“ Amor ” nummi—Evans's, Covent Garden.

Cadit quozstio—The subject is Arry.

Carpe diem—A carp a day (Fisherman's motto).

Con amore — Probably brother of Rory 0’-
Moorky.

“ D.T. fabula narratur’

Princess’s.

Dies mm—Never say die.

Dum spiro spero—Spiers
and Pond.

Ex post facto—Done out
of a post.

Ex, uno disce omnes —

Lord Beaconsfield and
party.

Festina lente—Get Lent
over.

Fieri facias—Jolly nose !

Fvrimus—We ’re going a
small party.

Hen!—Motto for Mr.

Gladstone’s axe.

Mine illce lacrymce—Tears
—idle tears !

In ’esse—Darmstadt.

Ingenuas didicissc fideli-
ter, Sfc.—To have utterly
diddled the clever ones, Ac.

Jos gentium—Sauce for
Gents.

Litera scripta ma,net —

“ Heavens ! I forgot to post
them !! ”

Magna est veritas— Truth !
extra edition !

Mi-nus—Not your nuss.

uMos” pro lege—Sixtyper
cent, first—then the Law.

Nemine clissentiente—An
eminent Dissenter.

Ne plus ultra — Knicker-
bockers.

No-lens volens — No
chance for a photographer.

Non Ms in idem—IS ever
. cry Encore!

Non tali avxilio—Never
hold on by the tail.

Ore rotundo—“ Round in
the mouth.”

Pro forma — The swan-
bill corset!

Quidquid excessit modum
—“ Two quid’s ” too much.

Quid rides ?— Why get
astride a horse ?

Rebus in angustis—Small
minds like riddles.

Rem acu tetigisti—A good
stroke !

Sui generis—A sort of a
pig-

Tot-idem verbis — Dont
say the same thing so often.

Vice versa—The bad habit
of rhyming.

Virtus semper viridis—

A young man from the
country.

THE CAD’S CALENDAR,

flobnnbin:.

Dull November ! Didn’t land that lot.
Fear my father’s son is going to pot.

Fan jest passed me, turned away ’er eyes,
Guess she ranked me with the other guys.
Nobby larks upon the Ninth, my joker ;
But it queers a chap to want the ochre. ’

MEM. BY A MARRIED
MAN.

Now pert, now pensive, as
a maiden, May
Was a sweet mixture of the
grave and gay.

A clever matron now, with
aims extensive,

I find that May’s ex-pert and most expensive.

A sylph she then flung flowers by the armfull.
Now—ene can’t call her figure an eas-ample.

Ah me ! these unknown quantities, these exes,
Quite alter the equation of the sexes !

Our Cook, who is very stout, says there is no
waste in her kitchen.

NURSERY GARDEN OPERATIONS.

( With the Nurse’s kind permission—of course.)

Sow buttons everywhere.

February is the month for cutting teeth. Keep
the cuttings.

Trim your little sister’s hair with the scissors.
You may expect a fine crop.

In harvest time offer to cut nurse’s com. If
you are the fortunate pos-
sessor of two ears, get a box
for each, and keep them.

Dig the baby in the ribs,
plant a blow on your little
brother’s nose, and wait to
see what the result will be.
Probably some birch.

Go into the fruit garden
and improve your arith-
metic by going into the
currant accounts.

If your little brother
takes a nectarine, and you
take another and then teH
of him, why will you have
more than he has ? Because
you will take a nectarine
and peach.

“ SCIENCE.”

Curate (with sudden excitement, whilst talcing a walk with his new Sector).

I SEE A MAGNIFICENT-”

' Sector (startled). “What’s the- What is it?!”

Curate. “ A ‘ Painted Lady ’ in the next Field ! ” [Stakes off like “ mad,” and vaults over the gate !

[No wonder the Reverend Gentleman was shocked. He was not entomological, and did not know this was the
common na'me of a fine Butterfly (“ Vanessa cardni ”) very numerous this year !

‘ Good gracious ! I do believe
[Trying to peer through the hedge.

THE CAD’S CALENDAR.

JBtremher.

Dun December 3 Dismal,
dingy, dirty. t

Still shortcommons—makes
a chap feel shirty.

Snip rampageous, drops a
regular summons.

Fan gets married; ah J
them gurls is rum ’uns !

After all the coin I squan-
dered on ’er !

Want it now. A ’eap too
bad, ’pon honour.

Snow 1 ah that’s yer sort
though, and no error,

Treat to twig the women
scud in terror.

Hot ’un in the eye for that
old feller;

Cold ’un down ’is neck, bust
his umbreller.

Ha ! ha ! Then Christmas,
—’ave a jolly feast!

The Boss will drop a tip,—
’ope so, at least.

If I don’t land some tin,
my look-out’s queer. r

Well, let ’s drink, boys—
“Better luck next year S”

SCIENTIFIC CONUN-
DRUMS.

Nothing like a crowd for regular sprees,
Ain’t it fine to do a rush, and squeeze ?
Twig the women fainting ! Oh, it’s proper
Bonnet buffers when the blooming copper
Can’t get near yer nohow. Then the fogs !
Rare old time for regular Jolly Dogs.

If a chap’s a genuine ’ot member,

He can keep the game up in November !

WHYwas Chiron,the sage
preceptor of Achilles, an im-
portant element in statics
and shipbuilding ? — Be-
cause he was a Centaur of
gravity.

When “ Beauty draws us
with a single hair,” what
force does it forcibly illus-
trate ? — Capillary attrac-
tion.

On what scientific subject
are the Duke of Cambridge,
Colonel Henderson, and
Mr. Smith presumably the
best authorities ?—The com-
position and resolution of
forces.

— Can you furnish two in-

stances of a perfect equilibrium of forces ?—Yes
latent calorie and a “ dead heat. ”

Furniture for School-Board Rooms.—All
in Birch and cane.

“Not a Sound was heard.”—Master Silence^
at a Quakers’ Meeting did hear a pin drop.