DOI Page / Citation link:
https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16516#0067
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
61
These are the Gents who are afterwards seen in the theatres at half-
price : in the slips during the performance, and in the saloon during
the entr'acte—the class, who, whilst they carry on brisk conversation and
smart repartees (of a sort,) with the least reputable in public life, form
the vapid nonentities of private society when females are present.
They are men, to use a phrase more expressive than elegant, strongly
addicted to bear parties—who think " a glass of grog and a cigar " the
acme of social enjoyment, and who look upon all entertainments as
bores that throw them into the society of ladies, or, indeed, any one
of intellect or refinement.
The toilet appertaining to Gents has few variations. They like
fierce stocks, out-of-the-way cravats, large-pattern handkerchiefs,
staring trousers, and the like articles. They think it grand to sit on
the box of' a coach, and are hurt if they cannot do so. They would
imagine they lost caste if they did not know something about the
horses and odds of an approaching race. They affect thick sticks and
queer superfluous pockets arid buttons to their great-coats ; and they
regard the various night haunts of London with the same affectionate
feeling that Alciphron evinced towards the gardens of Athens—with
the exception that the young Epicurean was certainly not a Gent.
At the theatres it has sometimes occurred that the Gents have been
observed in private boxes, and when this is the case, they are perpe-
tually pulling the curtains backwards and forwards, (because they
have seen the elite shroud themselves behind their folds occasionally,)
and exhibiting their hand only. During the play they assume a
neglige attitude, which is meant to be imposing and aristocratic. "When
it is over they immediately migrate to a neighbouring tavern for some jg Qf ceurse_rejected
THE NATURAL HISTORY OF COURTSHIP.
Chapter V.—Of Men who Abe mostly rejected.
With men who move in much society, making love is a habit.
They may be divided into two classes—consisting of men who are
generally rejected, and men who are frequently accepted.
You may know the man who has been often rejected, by his set-
ting up for un homme a bonnes fortunes—by his eternal boastings of
success. He is, in most instances, dandified in his dress, and pos-
sesses a talkative, know-every-thing, manner. He makes a point of
paying great devotion to the sex ; and where men and women meet,
is always to be found boring the latter, happily indulging the former
with little of his company. On entering a room, lie .seeks out the
belle of the party, and "makes up" to her with the least possible
delay. His mind—being constructed upon the principle of a barrel-
organ, which can only play a certain number of tunes—furnishes him
with a prescribed number of topics, a limited range of compli-
ments ; and not being an economist of either, his stock of subjects
is soon exhausted, and lie is obliged, during his incessant chatter, to
work them up over again. The belle, flattered—by what she knows
must appear to her female friends a new conquest—smiles, encou-
rages his loquacity, dances with him twice, and refuses to waltz with
her latest admirer. This temporary favour is mistaken by the vanity
of the favoured for a deeper feeling. He meets the lady two or
three times more—without much regard to delicacy—proposes, and
singing and supper ; and here, perhaps, we may pitch upon the Sport-
ing Gent—an individual in a cut-away coat, through the sleeves of
which are thrust two ungloved beefy hands, who, if he cannot get
into conversation upon dogs and horses, is as silent as a pickled
salmon. The true Gent slaps Yon Joel on the back, shakes hands
with the chairman, and knows the comic singer. All this is, how-
ever, harmless in its way, for the majority of these houses are ex-
ceedingly well conducted ; and, indeed, it is only the Gents of the
lowest sphere who deem it spirited to mix themselves up, in other
resorts, with tho ruffians of the ring, and the most degraded of either
sex, in an atmosphere of oaths and odours, where indecency is mis-
taken for broad humour, and dull slang for first-rate wit.
A TALE OF BLOOD !
Spots of blood were on the wainscoat—spots of blood were on the floor-
Spots of blood were on the carpet—spots of blood were, on the door_
A senseless corse before me—a phial lay by its side—.
The eyes forgot their glory—the brow forgot its pride.
Ah me! what shall I do—alone in this sad room ?
I'll rouse the house—I'll call the folk—or hail this wretch's groom.
Spots of blood are on the wainscoat—spots of blood are on the floor_.
Spots of blood are on the carpet—spots of blood are on the door—
I'll raise the victim's head—O ! what a sight is here—
£• nawiowrNG spectacle.
Our Too has split his Roman nose whilst in a state of beer !
The clever, amusing fellows, who may be called the mountebanks
of society, form another set, who are seldom much favoured by the
sex. They have not time to pay any single beauty even that
degree of attention which is conventional, being always so busy in
angling after applause of themselves. These are the singers of songs,
the givers of imitations. Watch such a person at a soiree whilst tete-
a-tete with a belle, be she even worthy of the truest devotion. He
talks mechanically, he responds to her remarks at random ; for if
you notice his eyes, you will remark that they are following the
motions of the hostess, whom he devoutly prays is about to ask him to
sing. If she do not make the longed-for request, he immediately
turns the conversation with his companion to the performances of the
more favoured singer, picking them to pieces, and saying how he
would " do " such and such passages had he been asked. When the
delightful moment does arrive, and lie is in the glories of a comic song,
he throws glances between every verse to the lady he deems he is so
highly favouring by his notice, which plainly asks her whether he is
not casting the rival who sung last quite into the shade ? and when he
has finished his task, and the applause and laughter are over, he puts
the same query in words, adding, " How do you like my song ?"
Should the damsel declare " she is delighted with it," he implicitly
believes her. Perhaps her mama or her chaperon asks him to her
next party, just as she would hire Rubini or Herr Dobler ;—to amuse
her guests. The " clever young man," mistaking the daughter's
complimentary delight for a sentiment, and her mama's invitation for
approval thereof, takes an early opportunity of proposing, and is
most unequivocally rejected.
61
These are the Gents who are afterwards seen in the theatres at half-
price : in the slips during the performance, and in the saloon during
the entr'acte—the class, who, whilst they carry on brisk conversation and
smart repartees (of a sort,) with the least reputable in public life, form
the vapid nonentities of private society when females are present.
They are men, to use a phrase more expressive than elegant, strongly
addicted to bear parties—who think " a glass of grog and a cigar " the
acme of social enjoyment, and who look upon all entertainments as
bores that throw them into the society of ladies, or, indeed, any one
of intellect or refinement.
The toilet appertaining to Gents has few variations. They like
fierce stocks, out-of-the-way cravats, large-pattern handkerchiefs,
staring trousers, and the like articles. They think it grand to sit on
the box of' a coach, and are hurt if they cannot do so. They would
imagine they lost caste if they did not know something about the
horses and odds of an approaching race. They affect thick sticks and
queer superfluous pockets arid buttons to their great-coats ; and they
regard the various night haunts of London with the same affectionate
feeling that Alciphron evinced towards the gardens of Athens—with
the exception that the young Epicurean was certainly not a Gent.
At the theatres it has sometimes occurred that the Gents have been
observed in private boxes, and when this is the case, they are perpe-
tually pulling the curtains backwards and forwards, (because they
have seen the elite shroud themselves behind their folds occasionally,)
and exhibiting their hand only. During the play they assume a
neglige attitude, which is meant to be imposing and aristocratic. "When
it is over they immediately migrate to a neighbouring tavern for some jg Qf ceurse_rejected
THE NATURAL HISTORY OF COURTSHIP.
Chapter V.—Of Men who Abe mostly rejected.
With men who move in much society, making love is a habit.
They may be divided into two classes—consisting of men who are
generally rejected, and men who are frequently accepted.
You may know the man who has been often rejected, by his set-
ting up for un homme a bonnes fortunes—by his eternal boastings of
success. He is, in most instances, dandified in his dress, and pos-
sesses a talkative, know-every-thing, manner. He makes a point of
paying great devotion to the sex ; and where men and women meet,
is always to be found boring the latter, happily indulging the former
with little of his company. On entering a room, lie .seeks out the
belle of the party, and "makes up" to her with the least possible
delay. His mind—being constructed upon the principle of a barrel-
organ, which can only play a certain number of tunes—furnishes him
with a prescribed number of topics, a limited range of compli-
ments ; and not being an economist of either, his stock of subjects
is soon exhausted, and lie is obliged, during his incessant chatter, to
work them up over again. The belle, flattered—by what she knows
must appear to her female friends a new conquest—smiles, encou-
rages his loquacity, dances with him twice, and refuses to waltz with
her latest admirer. This temporary favour is mistaken by the vanity
of the favoured for a deeper feeling. He meets the lady two or
three times more—without much regard to delicacy—proposes, and
singing and supper ; and here, perhaps, we may pitch upon the Sport-
ing Gent—an individual in a cut-away coat, through the sleeves of
which are thrust two ungloved beefy hands, who, if he cannot get
into conversation upon dogs and horses, is as silent as a pickled
salmon. The true Gent slaps Yon Joel on the back, shakes hands
with the chairman, and knows the comic singer. All this is, how-
ever, harmless in its way, for the majority of these houses are ex-
ceedingly well conducted ; and, indeed, it is only the Gents of the
lowest sphere who deem it spirited to mix themselves up, in other
resorts, with tho ruffians of the ring, and the most degraded of either
sex, in an atmosphere of oaths and odours, where indecency is mis-
taken for broad humour, and dull slang for first-rate wit.
A TALE OF BLOOD !
Spots of blood were on the wainscoat—spots of blood were on the floor-
Spots of blood were on the carpet—spots of blood were, on the door_
A senseless corse before me—a phial lay by its side—.
The eyes forgot their glory—the brow forgot its pride.
Ah me! what shall I do—alone in this sad room ?
I'll rouse the house—I'll call the folk—or hail this wretch's groom.
Spots of blood are on the wainscoat—spots of blood are on the floor_.
Spots of blood are on the carpet—spots of blood are on the door—
I'll raise the victim's head—O ! what a sight is here—
£• nawiowrNG spectacle.
Our Too has split his Roman nose whilst in a state of beer !
The clever, amusing fellows, who may be called the mountebanks
of society, form another set, who are seldom much favoured by the
sex. They have not time to pay any single beauty even that
degree of attention which is conventional, being always so busy in
angling after applause of themselves. These are the singers of songs,
the givers of imitations. Watch such a person at a soiree whilst tete-
a-tete with a belle, be she even worthy of the truest devotion. He
talks mechanically, he responds to her remarks at random ; for if
you notice his eyes, you will remark that they are following the
motions of the hostess, whom he devoutly prays is about to ask him to
sing. If she do not make the longed-for request, he immediately
turns the conversation with his companion to the performances of the
more favoured singer, picking them to pieces, and saying how he
would " do " such and such passages had he been asked. When the
delightful moment does arrive, and lie is in the glories of a comic song,
he throws glances between every verse to the lady he deems he is so
highly favouring by his notice, which plainly asks her whether he is
not casting the rival who sung last quite into the shade ? and when he
has finished his task, and the applause and laughter are over, he puts
the same query in words, adding, " How do you like my song ?"
Should the damsel declare " she is delighted with it," he implicitly
believes her. Perhaps her mama or her chaperon asks him to her
next party, just as she would hire Rubini or Herr Dobler ;—to amuse
her guests. The " clever young man," mistaking the daughter's
complimentary delight for a sentiment, and her mama's invitation for
approval thereof, takes an early opportunity of proposing, and is
most unequivocally rejected.