DOI Seite / Zitierlink:
https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16516#0085
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
81
THE LIGHT FOR ALL NATIONS.
We feel ourselves called upon to apologise to the Caisson for a
statement contained in our Number of last week, when, taking the
Observer as an authority, we announced the fact that the much-libelled
machine had burst.
We find, however, from a statement dated " Caisson, August the
4th," that the pumps are still at work. The refreshing fact is also
announced that the Caisson is soon expected to reach a chalky
stratum. This entirely negatives the ill-natured rumour that it had
•* walked its" chalks altogether.
It is true, says Mr. Bush, who signs himself " C. E." (which means
EXPLAINING HIS VIEWS.
probably cheerful enthusiast), that " two of the outer plates were
cracked in the gale of Friday," but the Caisson people appear to
think nothing of being cracked, and speak of such an erent as a
trifle hardly worth speaking of.
He is " happy to add" that "the entire apparatus is as immoveable as
when it was upon the beach;" which means that the whole concern is
•utterly untractable. The idea of being " happy to add " such a state-
ment as this, reminds us of the invalid who "enjoyed the most wretched
state of health." But anything coming from the caisson ought not to
excite astonishment. The excavation of the sand goes on rapidly at
low tide, but the hole made during the ebb is filled up swimmingly at
the flow; and the workmen are playing a game with Neptune, in
which he of the trident invariably gets the best of it.
MENTAL SCIENCE.
NEW AND IMPORTANT DISCOVERY!
-'Mr, Punch" begs to inform his numerous readers, that he has
invented a new system of artificial memory, to be called "Mnemonics
for the Many,"—the only thing, almost, except food and clothing,
which the said Many are in want of.
The principle on which his system is based is that of associating
facts with sensations. Inasmuch as every blockhead has nerves of
feeling, its applicability will obviously be universal, " Mr. P." trusts,
therefore, that he has not christened it presumptuously.
The following illustrations will sufficiently explain its nature :—
Suppose the fact to be impressed on the mind to be, that the Alex-
andrian library was burnt B.C. 47. Let the student, in the act of
committing it to memory, thrust a large needle, as far as he can, into
any convenient part of his person.
" Gunpowder treason," the boys sing on the 5th of November,
*' shall never be forgot." To make sure of that, let him, as he learns
that it was detected on the day above-mentioned, A.D. 1605, cause a
poker, heated to redness, to be applied to the same region.
Should the piece of chronology to be remembered be, that the
French Bastile was captured by the mob, July 14, 1789 ; or that, on
such and such a day, in such and such a parish, the foundation stone
of an English one was laid, by such and such a Churchwarden, assisted
by so and so, the Beadle ;—apply a blister behind one of the ears.
You are charged to deliver a message to a friend in case of meeting
him. Put a few sharp pebbles in your boots before you pull them on.
Your wife desires you to call at the milliner's, and request that
her peierine may be sent home directly. Run a small splinter under-
neath your nail, and let it remain there till you have fulfilled your
commission.
You continually forget to wind up your watch of a morning. Soak
your tooth-brush, over-night, in decoction of aloes.
You have to pay money into your bank in the city, and other busi-
ness, which is likely to escape your recollection, to transact in the
neighbourhood. Put an open penknife into your pocket, in such a
way that you may be sure to run your hand against the point of it
in going to take yosir cask out.
You are to look in at the doctor's on your way, and desire him to
come and see your child, which has something the matter with it.
Button a few stinging-nettles up in your breeches next the skin. Or
rub a little cowhage between your fingers—or deposit a grain of dust
in your eye—or stick a wafer on the end of your nose.
Stiff serrated collars, tight waistcoats, and all other uncomfortable
items of dress, may be made to furnish memorandums. For this
purpose, also, Mr. Punch would recommend a hair shirt as "a valu-
able article."
But why, it may be asked, not have recourse to sensations of the
pleasing class ? Because these are few and evanescent. The paths
of learning must be strewed with thorns—not flowers.
Mr. Punch takes no great credit to himself for this discovery ; but
he would just observe that, like that of gravitation, it was the result
of accident. The circumstance too that led to it was similar. The
fall of an apple to the ground gave rise to Newton's idea; the fall of
a cudgel on his head occasioned that of Punch. He thinks, by the
by, that the sage who was killed by an oyster dropped on his pate by
a crow, would, had the said oyster not made rather too strong an im-
pression, have been beforehand with Sir Isaac ; at least, that he
ought to have been so.
What would have set some people crying, set Mr. Punch thinking,
He thought,—what was also, in part, a matter of personal experience,
—how great is the efficacy, as a remedy for a short memory, in the
case of the youthful student, of the arg amentum ad dunes, otherwise
called the argumentum a piosterioriphysicum seu corporeum. He recollected
likewise the advice so often given to learners, to take pains. From
these and similar facts he deduced his system.
He does not promulgate it rashly, and without having duly tested
it. On the contrary, he has taken care to verify it by experiment
He keeps a tiger, who used continually to forget to shut the door
behind him. Having over and over again reminded Mm, verbally, of
this omission, to no purpose, he at length accompanied his remon-
strance, one day, by an energetic appeal to the quarter above alluded
to, in the shape of a certain impulsive application thereunto of the
anterior extremity of the right foot. The act of neglect was never
afterwards repeated.
ANIMAL M_ -SETI5M.
Other experiments in point, too numerous to mention, he also
tried; some of them at great personal hazard. For instance, pulling,
on one occasion, in illustration of his system, an irascible gentleman's
nose, he was suddenly stretched, with his own flattened like the ace of
hearts, on the floor.
His invention is not only applicable to the huma.n race, but even to
the lower animals; and he is certain that from it the greatest Ass
is capable of deriving benefit.
Mr. Punch hopes that his liberality in thus unreservedly making
his discovery known, instead of trying, as some people would, to sell
it, will be properly appreciated, and that he will be ranked with the
other eminent benefactors of the " Many" who adorn the present
day.
N.B. The proposed plan is especially recommended to the singing
classes at Exeter Hall.
RUMOURED CHANGES.
Bloomsbury Bill has accepted the office of Waterman to the Cab
Stand at Charing Cross. The emoluments are between ten and twelve
shillings a week, but he gives up a large private practice as a holder of
horses at the Clubs in Pall Mall. •.
It is expected that Dashaway Dick will be unseated as driver of the
Red Rover omnibus, and it is said that he will accept the Kensington
Twos, by entering the service of Mr. Cloud as a pair-horse coachman.
It is whispered that policeman K 46 is about to resign his position in
the force, on account of a difference of opinion between himself and the
present Government on a merely financial question. We have heard
that he has an offer ot mo'e iucrative employment ;a another Q;jari«r.
81
THE LIGHT FOR ALL NATIONS.
We feel ourselves called upon to apologise to the Caisson for a
statement contained in our Number of last week, when, taking the
Observer as an authority, we announced the fact that the much-libelled
machine had burst.
We find, however, from a statement dated " Caisson, August the
4th," that the pumps are still at work. The refreshing fact is also
announced that the Caisson is soon expected to reach a chalky
stratum. This entirely negatives the ill-natured rumour that it had
•* walked its" chalks altogether.
It is true, says Mr. Bush, who signs himself " C. E." (which means
EXPLAINING HIS VIEWS.
probably cheerful enthusiast), that " two of the outer plates were
cracked in the gale of Friday," but the Caisson people appear to
think nothing of being cracked, and speak of such an erent as a
trifle hardly worth speaking of.
He is " happy to add" that "the entire apparatus is as immoveable as
when it was upon the beach;" which means that the whole concern is
•utterly untractable. The idea of being " happy to add " such a state-
ment as this, reminds us of the invalid who "enjoyed the most wretched
state of health." But anything coming from the caisson ought not to
excite astonishment. The excavation of the sand goes on rapidly at
low tide, but the hole made during the ebb is filled up swimmingly at
the flow; and the workmen are playing a game with Neptune, in
which he of the trident invariably gets the best of it.
MENTAL SCIENCE.
NEW AND IMPORTANT DISCOVERY!
-'Mr, Punch" begs to inform his numerous readers, that he has
invented a new system of artificial memory, to be called "Mnemonics
for the Many,"—the only thing, almost, except food and clothing,
which the said Many are in want of.
The principle on which his system is based is that of associating
facts with sensations. Inasmuch as every blockhead has nerves of
feeling, its applicability will obviously be universal, " Mr. P." trusts,
therefore, that he has not christened it presumptuously.
The following illustrations will sufficiently explain its nature :—
Suppose the fact to be impressed on the mind to be, that the Alex-
andrian library was burnt B.C. 47. Let the student, in the act of
committing it to memory, thrust a large needle, as far as he can, into
any convenient part of his person.
" Gunpowder treason," the boys sing on the 5th of November,
*' shall never be forgot." To make sure of that, let him, as he learns
that it was detected on the day above-mentioned, A.D. 1605, cause a
poker, heated to redness, to be applied to the same region.
Should the piece of chronology to be remembered be, that the
French Bastile was captured by the mob, July 14, 1789 ; or that, on
such and such a day, in such and such a parish, the foundation stone
of an English one was laid, by such and such a Churchwarden, assisted
by so and so, the Beadle ;—apply a blister behind one of the ears.
You are charged to deliver a message to a friend in case of meeting
him. Put a few sharp pebbles in your boots before you pull them on.
Your wife desires you to call at the milliner's, and request that
her peierine may be sent home directly. Run a small splinter under-
neath your nail, and let it remain there till you have fulfilled your
commission.
You continually forget to wind up your watch of a morning. Soak
your tooth-brush, over-night, in decoction of aloes.
You have to pay money into your bank in the city, and other busi-
ness, which is likely to escape your recollection, to transact in the
neighbourhood. Put an open penknife into your pocket, in such a
way that you may be sure to run your hand against the point of it
in going to take yosir cask out.
You are to look in at the doctor's on your way, and desire him to
come and see your child, which has something the matter with it.
Button a few stinging-nettles up in your breeches next the skin. Or
rub a little cowhage between your fingers—or deposit a grain of dust
in your eye—or stick a wafer on the end of your nose.
Stiff serrated collars, tight waistcoats, and all other uncomfortable
items of dress, may be made to furnish memorandums. For this
purpose, also, Mr. Punch would recommend a hair shirt as "a valu-
able article."
But why, it may be asked, not have recourse to sensations of the
pleasing class ? Because these are few and evanescent. The paths
of learning must be strewed with thorns—not flowers.
Mr. Punch takes no great credit to himself for this discovery ; but
he would just observe that, like that of gravitation, it was the result
of accident. The circumstance too that led to it was similar. The
fall of an apple to the ground gave rise to Newton's idea; the fall of
a cudgel on his head occasioned that of Punch. He thinks, by the
by, that the sage who was killed by an oyster dropped on his pate by
a crow, would, had the said oyster not made rather too strong an im-
pression, have been beforehand with Sir Isaac ; at least, that he
ought to have been so.
What would have set some people crying, set Mr. Punch thinking,
He thought,—what was also, in part, a matter of personal experience,
—how great is the efficacy, as a remedy for a short memory, in the
case of the youthful student, of the arg amentum ad dunes, otherwise
called the argumentum a piosterioriphysicum seu corporeum. He recollected
likewise the advice so often given to learners, to take pains. From
these and similar facts he deduced his system.
He does not promulgate it rashly, and without having duly tested
it. On the contrary, he has taken care to verify it by experiment
He keeps a tiger, who used continually to forget to shut the door
behind him. Having over and over again reminded Mm, verbally, of
this omission, to no purpose, he at length accompanied his remon-
strance, one day, by an energetic appeal to the quarter above alluded
to, in the shape of a certain impulsive application thereunto of the
anterior extremity of the right foot. The act of neglect was never
afterwards repeated.
ANIMAL M_ -SETI5M.
Other experiments in point, too numerous to mention, he also
tried; some of them at great personal hazard. For instance, pulling,
on one occasion, in illustration of his system, an irascible gentleman's
nose, he was suddenly stretched, with his own flattened like the ace of
hearts, on the floor.
His invention is not only applicable to the huma.n race, but even to
the lower animals; and he is certain that from it the greatest Ass
is capable of deriving benefit.
Mr. Punch hopes that his liberality in thus unreservedly making
his discovery known, instead of trying, as some people would, to sell
it, will be properly appreciated, and that he will be ranked with the
other eminent benefactors of the " Many" who adorn the present
day.
N.B. The proposed plan is especially recommended to the singing
classes at Exeter Hall.
RUMOURED CHANGES.
Bloomsbury Bill has accepted the office of Waterman to the Cab
Stand at Charing Cross. The emoluments are between ten and twelve
shillings a week, but he gives up a large private practice as a holder of
horses at the Clubs in Pall Mall. •.
It is expected that Dashaway Dick will be unseated as driver of the
Red Rover omnibus, and it is said that he will accept the Kensington
Twos, by entering the service of Mr. Cloud as a pair-horse coachman.
It is whispered that policeman K 46 is about to resign his position in
the force, on account of a difference of opinion between himself and the
present Government on a merely financial question. We have heard
that he has an offer ot mo'e iucrative employment ;a another Q;jari«r.